Love Redone by Peyton Reeser Page B

will was read.  Believe me when I tell you we were both desperate to find a way out. It was just one wrong thing in a bigger picture of a thousand wrong things. I was not secretly engaged! We were pawns in a business deal and that was all, no matter what the press might have been reporting at the time.”
    He turned away from her , and while staring blindly at the vista outside, he let the whole story come flowing out. She deserved this much at least. Deserved to know the entire situation and hopefully see what a god-awful mess it had all been.
    “When I came back from Africa , everything changed in a heartbeat.  It didn’t matter what I wanted. When my grandfather died, everything was replaced with a crushing responsibility that left absolutely no room for anything but duty and obligation.” Whispering, remembering those confusing days when he battled with his needs and desires against the cold, hard reality facing him, Nick let the words pour out.
    “You see, it wasn’t just about me , and it wasn’t just about taking care of my mom and sister.  That was almost nothing compared to the thousands of employees around the globe whose livelihoods and futures rested in my hands.  So many people were counting on me to do whatever was necessary to keep things moving forward.”
    The shadows in the room were deepening as the sun continued to set on what had started off as a brilliantly beautiful Southern California Saturday. The uncomfortable energy swirling through him with this line of thought moved Nick even closer to the windows, which looked toward the setting sun.
    Shrugging away the discomfort , Nick continued on. “The very idea of marriage at that time was a joke and nothing more. Believe me when I tell you she was no more thrilled about being sold off to the highest bidder than I was.”
    With a bitter laugh , he added, “We were both completely furious. After the announcement was leaked we never even met together. Although we’d known each other for years, she and I had nothing in common and would probably have never even spoken to one another if left to ourselves. It was a disaster waiting to happen.”
    Nick remembered with detailed specificity the horror he’d felt as he came to accept that his life, at that time anyway, was not his own. Shrugging with acknowledgement that it had all been an out-of-control disaster, the words kept on coming. “And then I did what any self-respecting guy whose life was careening out of control does. I started drinking. At first just to blur the edges, but within weeks, anesthetizing myself with alcohol was like a full-time job,” he said in a tone dripping with self-loathing and regret.
    “Six weeks later , Jules and Ned stepped in right quick and I got it together, simply took control of my life and choices. I didn’t care about the business deal that had led to all of it and didn’t like the direction the company had been going.  Once I hit bottom, so to speak, the only way out really and truly was up.  I’d lost myself for a time, but after that it was all my way or the highway.  If I had no choice but to be the head of a huge global behemoth, then it was going to be on my terms.”
    Moving from the window and turning back towards her he continued. “I’d been asked to sacrifice everything, and I did, for the greater good, because that was the bullshit I was telling myself then. As I took control, the first step was to end that sham of an engagement and then focus like a laser on making Barrett a company that at least didn’t turn my stomach.  And through all of that, over all the years to come, I knew in my heart then just like now that there is no light without you.  You are my light, Shannon.”
    From her spot across the room, Shannon thought the fading light made him look vulnerable and for just a second felt compelled to concede that maybe she hadn’t been the only one confused and hurting. Long moments of silence seesawed back and forth between them