knew, he’d probably accuse me of wanting it.”
Shelley twisted her hands together as she stared across the street to her brother’s grave, fighting against the shame she felt. Tony would have been so disappointed in the way her life turned out.
“Maybe I did want it,” she said softly. “It got me away from here, and I was sure one of them would fall in love with me and take care of me.”
In some ways, it felt good to tell Gavin the truth. No one else knew everything she’d done, not even Carlie. Even if Gavin didn’t know the details, didn’t know the amount of people she’d been with, it was healing in a way. Maybe this was part of fixing herself. Admitting her faults.
“Shell?” His voice was tender. “You’ve said a few times, even before we came here to your dad’s, that you were proving you didn’t need a man in your life. I can tell you feel guilty right now, but it wasn’t your fault. You were a child.”
“I made my choices, Gavin.” She glanced at him, but quickly looked away. She wasn’t used to pity, and that’s what his eyes held. “Sometimes I think we’d all be better off if I’d drowned that day on the lake. I know Rick thinks so.”
“What?” Gavin shifted from foot to foot, and Shelley saw his hands clench into fists in her peripheral vision. “If your dad thinks that, he’s an idiot and an asshole! Why do you think he wants you dead?”
Shelley shook her head. She wished there were some chance she was wrong, but there wasn’t. “Rick blames me for killing Tony, his pride and joy. And I think, partly, Rick is jealous of me. Tony never made it a secret that he loved me best.”
“Tony? You’ve mentioned him a few times now.” Gavin’s warm fingers closed around her cold ones. “Who was he?”
“The best big brother in the world.” Shelley squeezed Gavin’s hand, unable to stop the tears that gathered in the corners of her eyes. “And I miss him so much.”
Suddenly, Gavin’s arms surrounded her and he held her close to his chest. Shelley rested her head against his shoulder, letting her tears fall unchecked. Gavin smelled of stale bacon grease and cheap deodorant instead of the fancy cologne he’d worn the first night they met. All because of her, so she could buy makeup.
“I’m sorry, Shelley,” he whispered, running his hand through her hair and down her back. The stubble on his face brushed her skin when he laid his cheek against hers. “Let it out. It’s okay. I’m here for you.”
For the first time since Tony died, a man was looking after her.
And she felt safe.
***
After several minutes, Shelley pulled herself together and moved from his arms. Gavin couldn’t very well argue and force her to stay, but he felt empty without her.
She’d come across as such a self-confident, assured person when he first met her. Mix that in with a heavy dose of rudeness, and Gavin thought he had her figured out. Obviously there was much more to her, but he hated that so much heartache and sadness was behind Shelley’s apparent attitude problem.
Once she had completely composed herself, she did take his hand in hers. Gavin tried not to be too ridiculously pleased by that, but it had been a long time since a woman willingly came to him, wanting his comfort and affection. Seeing Shelley’s vulnerable side and having her reaching out for him was even more alluring than her model-type good looks.
After they stood for several minutes holding hands, Gavin finally broke the silence. “Do you want to tell me about Tony?”
“I haven’t visited his grave for so long. It was my last stop before leaving town before.” She stared at the cemetery. “Do you mind if we go over there?”
“Not at all.”
Graveyards weren’t Gavin’s first choice for a place to take a lady, but maybe visiting Tony’s grave would help Shelley find some sort of peace.
They entered the cemetery and walked over several rows before Shelley turned up one, zeroing in with unfailing
Shelley twisted her hands together as she stared across the street to her brother’s grave, fighting against the shame she felt. Tony would have been so disappointed in the way her life turned out.
“Maybe I did want it,” she said softly. “It got me away from here, and I was sure one of them would fall in love with me and take care of me.”
In some ways, it felt good to tell Gavin the truth. No one else knew everything she’d done, not even Carlie. Even if Gavin didn’t know the details, didn’t know the amount of people she’d been with, it was healing in a way. Maybe this was part of fixing herself. Admitting her faults.
“Shell?” His voice was tender. “You’ve said a few times, even before we came here to your dad’s, that you were proving you didn’t need a man in your life. I can tell you feel guilty right now, but it wasn’t your fault. You were a child.”
“I made my choices, Gavin.” She glanced at him, but quickly looked away. She wasn’t used to pity, and that’s what his eyes held. “Sometimes I think we’d all be better off if I’d drowned that day on the lake. I know Rick thinks so.”
“What?” Gavin shifted from foot to foot, and Shelley saw his hands clench into fists in her peripheral vision. “If your dad thinks that, he’s an idiot and an asshole! Why do you think he wants you dead?”
Shelley shook her head. She wished there were some chance she was wrong, but there wasn’t. “Rick blames me for killing Tony, his pride and joy. And I think, partly, Rick is jealous of me. Tony never made it a secret that he loved me best.”
“Tony? You’ve mentioned him a few times now.” Gavin’s warm fingers closed around her cold ones. “Who was he?”
“The best big brother in the world.” Shelley squeezed Gavin’s hand, unable to stop the tears that gathered in the corners of her eyes. “And I miss him so much.”
Suddenly, Gavin’s arms surrounded her and he held her close to his chest. Shelley rested her head against his shoulder, letting her tears fall unchecked. Gavin smelled of stale bacon grease and cheap deodorant instead of the fancy cologne he’d worn the first night they met. All because of her, so she could buy makeup.
“I’m sorry, Shelley,” he whispered, running his hand through her hair and down her back. The stubble on his face brushed her skin when he laid his cheek against hers. “Let it out. It’s okay. I’m here for you.”
For the first time since Tony died, a man was looking after her.
And she felt safe.
***
After several minutes, Shelley pulled herself together and moved from his arms. Gavin couldn’t very well argue and force her to stay, but he felt empty without her.
She’d come across as such a self-confident, assured person when he first met her. Mix that in with a heavy dose of rudeness, and Gavin thought he had her figured out. Obviously there was much more to her, but he hated that so much heartache and sadness was behind Shelley’s apparent attitude problem.
Once she had completely composed herself, she did take his hand in hers. Gavin tried not to be too ridiculously pleased by that, but it had been a long time since a woman willingly came to him, wanting his comfort and affection. Seeing Shelley’s vulnerable side and having her reaching out for him was even more alluring than her model-type good looks.
After they stood for several minutes holding hands, Gavin finally broke the silence. “Do you want to tell me about Tony?”
“I haven’t visited his grave for so long. It was my last stop before leaving town before.” She stared at the cemetery. “Do you mind if we go over there?”
“Not at all.”
Graveyards weren’t Gavin’s first choice for a place to take a lady, but maybe visiting Tony’s grave would help Shelley find some sort of peace.
They entered the cemetery and walked over several rows before Shelley turned up one, zeroing in with unfailing
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