him, berating him. She’d never even pretended to like him, not even in his father’s presence. It was more than any child should have endured.
One day, when he was ten years old, he’d innocently called her “mother,” something herarely did, and suddenly she screamed at him, I am not your mother! I am sick of pretending to be. Your mother was a whore trying to take my place—a whore!
His father had been there, the poor man. Little did his father know that nothing could have made Nicholas happier than to learn that Miriam was not his mother. It was only later that he realized how cruelly the world treated bastards.
His father was forced to tell him the truth that day. Miriam had had many miscarriages in the first four years of her marriage to Charles, and the doctor’s warning that it might always be so strained the marriage badly. Charles didn’t actually say so, but Nicholas figured out that Miriam acquired an aversion to the marriage bed. Charles found comfort elsewhere.
Miserably, Charles explained that Nicholas’ real mother was a lady, a good, kindhearted woman who had loved Charles. He had taken advantage of that love in one night’s drunkenness, the only time he and she allowed themselves that freedom. Nicholas was conceived that night. There was never any chance that the woman might keep the child. She was unmarried. But Charles wanted the child, wanted it desperately. Miriam agreed to go away with the woman until the child was born. When she returned, everyone believed the baby boy was hers.
Nicholas understood her bitterness, her resentment of him, though understanding didn’tmake it easier to live with. He endured Miriam for another twelve years, until his father died. He left England then, at twenty-two, intending never to return. His grandmother never forgave him for those two years of disappearance, but he’d loved sailing the seas on his own ships, living through one adventure after another, even fighting in a few sea battles. He finally came home to England, but he couldn’t ever go home to Silverley. He couldn’t live with Miriam and her hate and her continual threats to tell the world the truth about his birth.
To date, no one knew except the two of them and his father’s lawyers, for Charles had had Nicholas declared his legal heir. And it wasn’t that Nicholas couldn’t withstand the scorn if the truth came out; he had prepared himself for it. But his father had taken great pains to keep it a secret, to keep the family name pure. He didn’t wish to damage his father’s reputation.
He couldn’t trust Miriam, however. She might speak out eventually. For that reason, he had no right to marry a girl of good family who would become an outcast if Miriam chose to betray him.
No, Regina Ashton was not for him. He would give anything to possess her, he acknowledged. But he would also give anything not to marry her, not to risk putting her through the horror in store for her if his secret was revealed. He had to find some way out of it.
Chapter 12
“I ’M sorry to have kept you waiting, my lord.”
Nicholas whirled around at the sound of her voice. A jolt passed through him. He had forgotten how truly ravishing she was. She stood hesitantly in the doorway, a little afraid. Her cousin Clare was behind her. Tall and blond like most of the Malorys, she was pretty enough, but she faded away next to the exotically beautiful Regina.
Once again he was shocked to feel his body affected by the sight of Regina. Bloody hell . He would have to end their engagement quickly or bed her.
She continued to stand there in the doorway, and he said, “Come, I won’t bite you, love.”
She blushed at the endearment. “You haven’t met my cousin Clare,” she offered, coming forward slowly.
He acknowledged the introduction, then said to Regina, “Derek has just been refreshing my memory of you. You should have told me we met before.”
“I didn’t think you would remember,” Regina murmured,
One day, when he was ten years old, he’d innocently called her “mother,” something herarely did, and suddenly she screamed at him, I am not your mother! I am sick of pretending to be. Your mother was a whore trying to take my place—a whore!
His father had been there, the poor man. Little did his father know that nothing could have made Nicholas happier than to learn that Miriam was not his mother. It was only later that he realized how cruelly the world treated bastards.
His father was forced to tell him the truth that day. Miriam had had many miscarriages in the first four years of her marriage to Charles, and the doctor’s warning that it might always be so strained the marriage badly. Charles didn’t actually say so, but Nicholas figured out that Miriam acquired an aversion to the marriage bed. Charles found comfort elsewhere.
Miserably, Charles explained that Nicholas’ real mother was a lady, a good, kindhearted woman who had loved Charles. He had taken advantage of that love in one night’s drunkenness, the only time he and she allowed themselves that freedom. Nicholas was conceived that night. There was never any chance that the woman might keep the child. She was unmarried. But Charles wanted the child, wanted it desperately. Miriam agreed to go away with the woman until the child was born. When she returned, everyone believed the baby boy was hers.
Nicholas understood her bitterness, her resentment of him, though understanding didn’tmake it easier to live with. He endured Miriam for another twelve years, until his father died. He left England then, at twenty-two, intending never to return. His grandmother never forgave him for those two years of disappearance, but he’d loved sailing the seas on his own ships, living through one adventure after another, even fighting in a few sea battles. He finally came home to England, but he couldn’t ever go home to Silverley. He couldn’t live with Miriam and her hate and her continual threats to tell the world the truth about his birth.
To date, no one knew except the two of them and his father’s lawyers, for Charles had had Nicholas declared his legal heir. And it wasn’t that Nicholas couldn’t withstand the scorn if the truth came out; he had prepared himself for it. But his father had taken great pains to keep it a secret, to keep the family name pure. He didn’t wish to damage his father’s reputation.
He couldn’t trust Miriam, however. She might speak out eventually. For that reason, he had no right to marry a girl of good family who would become an outcast if Miriam chose to betray him.
No, Regina Ashton was not for him. He would give anything to possess her, he acknowledged. But he would also give anything not to marry her, not to risk putting her through the horror in store for her if his secret was revealed. He had to find some way out of it.
Chapter 12
“I ’M sorry to have kept you waiting, my lord.”
Nicholas whirled around at the sound of her voice. A jolt passed through him. He had forgotten how truly ravishing she was. She stood hesitantly in the doorway, a little afraid. Her cousin Clare was behind her. Tall and blond like most of the Malorys, she was pretty enough, but she faded away next to the exotically beautiful Regina.
Once again he was shocked to feel his body affected by the sight of Regina. Bloody hell . He would have to end their engagement quickly or bed her.
She continued to stand there in the doorway, and he said, “Come, I won’t bite you, love.”
She blushed at the endearment. “You haven’t met my cousin Clare,” she offered, coming forward slowly.
He acknowledged the introduction, then said to Regina, “Derek has just been refreshing my memory of you. You should have told me we met before.”
“I didn’t think you would remember,” Regina murmured,
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