letting go of my hand he used both our entwined hands to shift the gears and the car started moving again. "Can I please take you to my house so we can talk this out? Please tell me you trust me enough not to hurt you," he pleaded with me. His voice sounded panicked. I couldn't refuse him. I doubt anyone could. I nodded.
Chapter 12
I think I love you...
W e got up to the fifth floor. While still seated in his car, I closed my eyes and felt my impending agitation. What can he possibly say to me to make this whole relationship not feel far-fetched and wrong? Why would he want me? What do I have to offer him? Well, besides adding my virginity to his running tally.
"Em … I can see that brain of yours working. What have you already convicted me of?" Louis asked while we were still seated in his car. I found my voice and looked up at his impossibly beautiful brown eyes. They weren't smiling at me tonight. He looked worried.
"What do I have to offer you? I just graduated high school … I'm nobody … I'm not tall or skinny or beautiful. I don't have any sexual experience to offer you, besides what we had the last few days together. I won't let myself sleep with you or anybody until I know it's serious and not some kind of game . I already feel that we went too far." My tears decided they couldn't stay in any longer. "Louis, I have never been as attracted to anyone as much as I am to you. Who wouldn't be? You're gorgeous, charming, successful, and not to mention really good at seducing girls … I mean, women. I know you're just playing with my head. I'm weak and naïve. I've never even had a serious boyfriend. You're a man who's been with so many women. Multiple women at the same time, from what I hear. I know you'll hurt me after you get what you want. Can't you just take pity on me and let me be? Please, Louis, don't crush my heart—it's very fragile. I know being with you for the last few days will damage me and I won't soon get over you. You … you are way out of my league and I appreciate and I'm flattered by your attention but I need to be realistic, I need to be smart … just take me home please."
He stared at me while I talked. When I finished he closed his eyes and dropped his head back. "Emily, you're right," he said. My heart dropped. I took a deep breath thinking, I guess now he can drive me back home. How did a fantasy turn into a nightmare so quickly? With his eyes still closed he continued talking, "I don't deserve to be with someone like you. I've had my share of girls and women and I deserve whatever low opinion you, Mike, and everyone else has of me…"
He took a deep breath through his nose and opened his eyes turning to face me.
"You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. Every time I look into your eyes I feel like I'm home. I can't explain what I'm feeling. I've never felt this way. You're right … that first time I saw you at that party, I just wanted to lift that short skirt and fuck the shit out of you right then and there in some dark corner. But now all I want is to lie with you in bed all day and make love to you for the rest of my life. Please, Em, give me a chance to be a good guy. I know I don't deserve a chance with you. I can't let you walk away from me. I'm a selfish prick, but I won't let you go. I promise I won't do anything to hurt you. I … I haven't found out what your favorite color is or your favorite movie or book … I don't know what songs you listen to when you're happy or sad. Don't sleep with me, just please stay … baby, don't leave me."
He ran his fingers across my wet cheek and his thumb over my quivering lower lip. I looked up at him with eyes full of tears. He brought his lips close to mine, searching my glazed eyes for permission to let him kiss me. I nodded silently. His lips descended on mine, he rained soft little kisses all over my mouth, then my cheek, then down to my chin. He cupped my face with both of his hands and continued kissing my nose,
Chapter 12
I think I love you...
W e got up to the fifth floor. While still seated in his car, I closed my eyes and felt my impending agitation. What can he possibly say to me to make this whole relationship not feel far-fetched and wrong? Why would he want me? What do I have to offer him? Well, besides adding my virginity to his running tally.
"Em … I can see that brain of yours working. What have you already convicted me of?" Louis asked while we were still seated in his car. I found my voice and looked up at his impossibly beautiful brown eyes. They weren't smiling at me tonight. He looked worried.
"What do I have to offer you? I just graduated high school … I'm nobody … I'm not tall or skinny or beautiful. I don't have any sexual experience to offer you, besides what we had the last few days together. I won't let myself sleep with you or anybody until I know it's serious and not some kind of game . I already feel that we went too far." My tears decided they couldn't stay in any longer. "Louis, I have never been as attracted to anyone as much as I am to you. Who wouldn't be? You're gorgeous, charming, successful, and not to mention really good at seducing girls … I mean, women. I know you're just playing with my head. I'm weak and naïve. I've never even had a serious boyfriend. You're a man who's been with so many women. Multiple women at the same time, from what I hear. I know you'll hurt me after you get what you want. Can't you just take pity on me and let me be? Please, Louis, don't crush my heart—it's very fragile. I know being with you for the last few days will damage me and I won't soon get over you. You … you are way out of my league and I appreciate and I'm flattered by your attention but I need to be realistic, I need to be smart … just take me home please."
He stared at me while I talked. When I finished he closed his eyes and dropped his head back. "Emily, you're right," he said. My heart dropped. I took a deep breath thinking, I guess now he can drive me back home. How did a fantasy turn into a nightmare so quickly? With his eyes still closed he continued talking, "I don't deserve to be with someone like you. I've had my share of girls and women and I deserve whatever low opinion you, Mike, and everyone else has of me…"
He took a deep breath through his nose and opened his eyes turning to face me.
"You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. Every time I look into your eyes I feel like I'm home. I can't explain what I'm feeling. I've never felt this way. You're right … that first time I saw you at that party, I just wanted to lift that short skirt and fuck the shit out of you right then and there in some dark corner. But now all I want is to lie with you in bed all day and make love to you for the rest of my life. Please, Em, give me a chance to be a good guy. I know I don't deserve a chance with you. I can't let you walk away from me. I'm a selfish prick, but I won't let you go. I promise I won't do anything to hurt you. I … I haven't found out what your favorite color is or your favorite movie or book … I don't know what songs you listen to when you're happy or sad. Don't sleep with me, just please stay … baby, don't leave me."
He ran his fingers across my wet cheek and his thumb over my quivering lower lip. I looked up at him with eyes full of tears. He brought his lips close to mine, searching my glazed eyes for permission to let him kiss me. I nodded silently. His lips descended on mine, he rained soft little kisses all over my mouth, then my cheek, then down to my chin. He cupped my face with both of his hands and continued kissing my nose,
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