dad that I really wish her mom was here to help with. I don’t think its just confirmation that I’m learning though, that I’m doing better – even though I’m sure that plays a part. I think it has a lot to do with caring what Leah thinks specifically.
“Well thanks, pal. It’s not easy raising a girl. She’s a lot like her mom but she’s got so much of my personality, especially my rebellious side.”
“Oh yeah? The coolly, self possessed Steven Cooper has a rebellious streak?? I think that I’d definitely like to see that side of you some day….” she says, looking at me like she really genuinely would. Before I can say anything too inappropriate though she continues, “You’re always so calm and in control when I see you. You seem so composed and authoritative – it’s hard to imagine you letting go and being rebellious.”
“Well, there are a lot of things you don’t know about me, Miss Collins.” I say with my best smart ass smirk. “I do like to be in control and in charge, but I also know how to rebel a little bit when I need to.”
“Then I think we should become better friends Mr. Cooper, so that I can discover this side of you.” She smiles and I can still see her looking at me out of the corner of my eye, her eyebrows still piqued from my mention of control and being in charge. I know from that look that she is remembering the same night that I am, the night that she let me be in control of her body. She just stares at me for a minute and I can see her heart beating faster, feel her breathing heavier; but she sees the kids swarming around us and safely changes the subject.
“So Steve, tell me about yourself. Educate me on everything that makes up this mysterious man sitting beside me.”
I pivot on the bench just enough so that our knees now touch and for a moment, I contemplate not looking at her. I don’t know if I can right now. Just this slightest bit of physical contact with her has my palms clammy and my heart beating faster, my breathing matching the weighted cadence I see her still trying to gain control of. Once again, I’m screaming inside to pull myself together.
“What would you like to know?” I ask her as coolly as I can, finally looking her right in the eyes. Hoping that I look much more composed than I feel.
“Tell me all of the things that I don’t know. Considering most of what I know of you would be moderately inappropriate for conversation given our present environment, I imagine that there are a lot of things you could share.” She looks at me suggestively before adding, “For starters, you have this air of confidence, that composed and in control side of you we talked about. When you walk into a room, that air about you leaves no question as to who the boss is. Where does that side of you come from?”
“Hmm…” I think for a beat, running my hands through my hair. It’s always been my nervous gesture. “I guess that part of my personality comes from my father. He doesn’t say much, but when he does you know he’s in charge. When he speaks, you know you’d better listen. Also, I’m the second oldest of five boys and I grew up on a farm where there was never an absence of things to do. Given my place in the birth order, I kind of took naturally to bossing people around. When my dad and Seth, my older brother, were busy or they weren’t around I was in charge. Really, I guess it’s just me. My friend Jo tells me I should tone it down a notch.”
“So you have four brothers? Wow, I can’t imagine. Your house must have been crazy growing up! Especially, living on a farm. Your poor mother, how did she do that? Without managing to kill any of you? I have one boy and sometimes I feels like a hurricane
“Well thanks, pal. It’s not easy raising a girl. She’s a lot like her mom but she’s got so much of my personality, especially my rebellious side.”
“Oh yeah? The coolly, self possessed Steven Cooper has a rebellious streak?? I think that I’d definitely like to see that side of you some day….” she says, looking at me like she really genuinely would. Before I can say anything too inappropriate though she continues, “You’re always so calm and in control when I see you. You seem so composed and authoritative – it’s hard to imagine you letting go and being rebellious.”
“Well, there are a lot of things you don’t know about me, Miss Collins.” I say with my best smart ass smirk. “I do like to be in control and in charge, but I also know how to rebel a little bit when I need to.”
“Then I think we should become better friends Mr. Cooper, so that I can discover this side of you.” She smiles and I can still see her looking at me out of the corner of my eye, her eyebrows still piqued from my mention of control and being in charge. I know from that look that she is remembering the same night that I am, the night that she let me be in control of her body. She just stares at me for a minute and I can see her heart beating faster, feel her breathing heavier; but she sees the kids swarming around us and safely changes the subject.
“So Steve, tell me about yourself. Educate me on everything that makes up this mysterious man sitting beside me.”
I pivot on the bench just enough so that our knees now touch and for a moment, I contemplate not looking at her. I don’t know if I can right now. Just this slightest bit of physical contact with her has my palms clammy and my heart beating faster, my breathing matching the weighted cadence I see her still trying to gain control of. Once again, I’m screaming inside to pull myself together.
“What would you like to know?” I ask her as coolly as I can, finally looking her right in the eyes. Hoping that I look much more composed than I feel.
“Tell me all of the things that I don’t know. Considering most of what I know of you would be moderately inappropriate for conversation given our present environment, I imagine that there are a lot of things you could share.” She looks at me suggestively before adding, “For starters, you have this air of confidence, that composed and in control side of you we talked about. When you walk into a room, that air about you leaves no question as to who the boss is. Where does that side of you come from?”
“Hmm…” I think for a beat, running my hands through my hair. It’s always been my nervous gesture. “I guess that part of my personality comes from my father. He doesn’t say much, but when he does you know he’s in charge. When he speaks, you know you’d better listen. Also, I’m the second oldest of five boys and I grew up on a farm where there was never an absence of things to do. Given my place in the birth order, I kind of took naturally to bossing people around. When my dad and Seth, my older brother, were busy or they weren’t around I was in charge. Really, I guess it’s just me. My friend Jo tells me I should tone it down a notch.”
“So you have four brothers? Wow, I can’t imagine. Your house must have been crazy growing up! Especially, living on a farm. Your poor mother, how did she do that? Without managing to kill any of you? I have one boy and sometimes I feels like a hurricane
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