back," I say.
"You don't feel anything for me…for us?"
The back door has opened, and I feel the cold air.
"First of the year," he says. "Don't say never. Your apartment is empty."
I don't walk him to the door. I hear him let himself out.
Marcus walks into the kitchen. "What's first of the year? Your apartment?"
There is a deep throbbing pain building over my eyebrows. "I need to lie down," I say. I get up, holding my head together.
He doesn't follow right away. I'm on the bed for a few seconds of shocked floating before he enters. He sets a bottle of water on the nightstand. "Here," he says nudging me. He has two Ibuprofens in his hand.
I sit up and take them. "Thanks."
I lay back down, and he helps cover me.
"That moron upset you," he says.
I don't open my eyes. "I'm fine."
"I'll…be right across the street," he says.
Without looking, I reach up and grab a handful of his shirt. I pull enough he gets the hint.
He takes my hand, loosens the hold. "Bedilia…try to sleep. I'm right over there."
Now I do open my eyes. "What's the matter?"
He's shaking his head. "Unfinished business, like we said before. You need to rest, and I do too."
"We were resting. It was perfect."
He smiles a little. "I need a run. I've got laundry. I don't have a Lamborghini, but I do have a sink full of dirty dishes and some bills to pay."
"Don't do this," I say lifting up on my hand. "Don't you dare compare yourself to him or something."
He smirks. "Yeah. I'm not. He's a rich jerk. But…I'm not your rabbit hole…or your turtle shell, Bedilia. That's not who you are either. I want to be. I'm just wicked enough to fall into that. There's no one I'd rather scrape up on the rebound."
My eyebrows lift up to my hairline. "Stop. Don't say anymore you are…wrong."
"Yeah. I'm not sure. We both need to sleep. I'm…slowing the freight train down. I'm hitting the brake. For everyone's sake."
Chapter 28
I think I'll just ignore everything and everyone. Is it possible to ignore Marcus? I'm going to try. I'm going to clear my head and think of nothing but white fuzz. I'm so tired.
Just when I'm entering nirvana, my eyes pop open. "What the heck does that mean…put the brakes on?" I whisper.
And I'm not your rabbit hole, I'm not your turtle shell? I said that in love asshole. I was feeling loved and safe because of you. Jack ass!
If my head didn't hurt so much, I'd throw open the window and scream toward his house.
But I lay there, certain any hope of sleep is now ruined.
When I wake up, it's three hours later, which makes it ten in the morning. I feel like total crap. My first thought might be Marcus but my second is Artie. Then Juney. Myron barely registers.
I know I've been away from Artie for too long. I frantically check my phone, but no one has called. Well, Myron has texted, but I'm not reading those.
I strip and get in the shower, but I'm moving slower than I need to. The hot water is wonderful, but it also depresses me.
Back in my room I braid my wet hair and get dressed. I go in Artie's room and throw together a bag. Once I'm in the truck and pulling out of the driveway I note that Marcus's truck is gone. Well, I already noted that from the crow's nest, but now it's official.
My heart barely thumps. The holidays can be such a downer. And I'd had such high hopes. Wasn't it just yesterday Marcus and I were cooking, Juney was in the living room. Dad was at work. We were like a family.
This would be a great time to have a mother. I have heard other girls complain about their moms, but this would be a great time to have one. I know it's lame to feel this now after all this time of her being otherwise occupied, and maybe if I really had a mom she would be so obnoxious I wouldn't tell her a thing, but my fantasy mom would be about perfect right now.
If I had her, I would ask her, what the heck do I do now?
I know what Ranita would do. She'd wrap herself in cellophane probably, stuff a fat dubee and be ready to rumble
"You don't feel anything for me…for us?"
The back door has opened, and I feel the cold air.
"First of the year," he says. "Don't say never. Your apartment is empty."
I don't walk him to the door. I hear him let himself out.
Marcus walks into the kitchen. "What's first of the year? Your apartment?"
There is a deep throbbing pain building over my eyebrows. "I need to lie down," I say. I get up, holding my head together.
He doesn't follow right away. I'm on the bed for a few seconds of shocked floating before he enters. He sets a bottle of water on the nightstand. "Here," he says nudging me. He has two Ibuprofens in his hand.
I sit up and take them. "Thanks."
I lay back down, and he helps cover me.
"That moron upset you," he says.
I don't open my eyes. "I'm fine."
"I'll…be right across the street," he says.
Without looking, I reach up and grab a handful of his shirt. I pull enough he gets the hint.
He takes my hand, loosens the hold. "Bedilia…try to sleep. I'm right over there."
Now I do open my eyes. "What's the matter?"
He's shaking his head. "Unfinished business, like we said before. You need to rest, and I do too."
"We were resting. It was perfect."
He smiles a little. "I need a run. I've got laundry. I don't have a Lamborghini, but I do have a sink full of dirty dishes and some bills to pay."
"Don't do this," I say lifting up on my hand. "Don't you dare compare yourself to him or something."
He smirks. "Yeah. I'm not. He's a rich jerk. But…I'm not your rabbit hole…or your turtle shell, Bedilia. That's not who you are either. I want to be. I'm just wicked enough to fall into that. There's no one I'd rather scrape up on the rebound."
My eyebrows lift up to my hairline. "Stop. Don't say anymore you are…wrong."
"Yeah. I'm not sure. We both need to sleep. I'm…slowing the freight train down. I'm hitting the brake. For everyone's sake."
Chapter 28
I think I'll just ignore everything and everyone. Is it possible to ignore Marcus? I'm going to try. I'm going to clear my head and think of nothing but white fuzz. I'm so tired.
Just when I'm entering nirvana, my eyes pop open. "What the heck does that mean…put the brakes on?" I whisper.
And I'm not your rabbit hole, I'm not your turtle shell? I said that in love asshole. I was feeling loved and safe because of you. Jack ass!
If my head didn't hurt so much, I'd throw open the window and scream toward his house.
But I lay there, certain any hope of sleep is now ruined.
When I wake up, it's three hours later, which makes it ten in the morning. I feel like total crap. My first thought might be Marcus but my second is Artie. Then Juney. Myron barely registers.
I know I've been away from Artie for too long. I frantically check my phone, but no one has called. Well, Myron has texted, but I'm not reading those.
I strip and get in the shower, but I'm moving slower than I need to. The hot water is wonderful, but it also depresses me.
Back in my room I braid my wet hair and get dressed. I go in Artie's room and throw together a bag. Once I'm in the truck and pulling out of the driveway I note that Marcus's truck is gone. Well, I already noted that from the crow's nest, but now it's official.
My heart barely thumps. The holidays can be such a downer. And I'd had such high hopes. Wasn't it just yesterday Marcus and I were cooking, Juney was in the living room. Dad was at work. We were like a family.
This would be a great time to have a mother. I have heard other girls complain about their moms, but this would be a great time to have one. I know it's lame to feel this now after all this time of her being otherwise occupied, and maybe if I really had a mom she would be so obnoxious I wouldn't tell her a thing, but my fantasy mom would be about perfect right now.
If I had her, I would ask her, what the heck do I do now?
I know what Ranita would do. She'd wrap herself in cellophane probably, stuff a fat dubee and be ready to rumble
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