wasn't ad nauseam."
"What did you expect her to say with you tossing your blonde ho—women in her face?"
"She couldn't have told you I did that, Am because I never did."
"She didn't say you did, but how do you think she felt knowing you compared her to them?"
"I never did that either. You're assuming things that never happened without any evidence."
"Well, she must have thought—"
"It's over, Am. She and I are not going to have a happy ever after ending—at least not with each other."
"But you could have with just a little effort. You still can. Despite what you say she doesn't feel you were her first love, Thomas. And there's something very special about a first real love. You could win her back if you tried."
Or I could end up hurt again. I'd had enough pain from her and wasn't interested in anymore. "What you need to do is to concentrate on being happy and let us worry about ourselves. We're both adults. We'll be fine. Marry your dumbass John and be happy with him."
"Do you want to talk to him?"
"Why the hell would I want to talk to him, Am?"
"Because he almost lost me as you're about to lose Sher. Maybe he could help you come to your senses before it's too late."
"There's nothing to talk about and it's already too late."
"Thomas—"
"She told you she doesn't want to see me again."
"Do you want to see her?"
Oh hell yes. "I'd like to tell her personally that I'm sorry, but that's really out of the question."
"Why?"
"Because she doesn't want to see me, Am. You told me so yourself."
"You could change her mind with a little effort."
"I know you're upset for her but she'll fall in love again." Hell, she seemed to have a knack for falling in and out of love, mostly with me.
"And what about you, Thomas? Will you fall in love again?"
Oh, fuck. I shook my head. "I'm not in love now, Am, so don't delude yourself into thinking I am. And for God's sake, don't say anything to her to make her think I'm in love with her."
"Oh, Thomas, why can't you admit how you feel?"
I had to admit I'd seen much better days than the ones I'd struggled through since Sherlyn had kicked my ass to the curb without any warning or explanation. Of course if I'd been thinking with my brain instead of my cock and an even more treacherous part of my body, I'd have seen it coming and been prepared. But hell would freeze the fuck over before I allowed her or any other woman to break my heart. "Don't worry about me. I'll be fine," I assured her in a voice so confident sounding that I almost believed it myself. "I am fine."
Okay. So I'd blown it with Sherlyn by not realizing in time that I wanted her to love me or that some deeply hidden part of me even needed it. I couldn't change the past or make her love me again. All I could do was move forward. Granted my immediate emotional future looked grim, but I was a survivor and a realist. Sherlyn sending Am to deliver her Dear Thomas message made it crystal clear that she had no desire or interest in trying to rekindle our sweet but all too brief relationship.
After Amber left, I went to a florist and ordered a bouquet of flowers. It took several minutes of indecision before I decided what to write on the card.
I'm sorry if I hurt you but I know you'll find the happiness you deserve. And when you do I'll be happy for you. Thomas.
You'll be happy for her? Really? Were you happy for her the last time she fell out of love with you? I inhaled slowly. Okay.Maybe I wouldn't be happy but I wouldn't do anything to interfere with her new relationship.
I paid for the flowers and walked out. Then feeling the need to justify myself with her I wrote her a letter. I tossed several in the trash before I finally settled on the one I sent her. Once the letter was on its way, I knew it was officially over for us. Still, not quite able to let go, I called my brother Michael.
"I need a favor," I said when he answered.
"What do you need?" he asked.
I told him Sherlyn and I were no longer seeing each
"What did you expect her to say with you tossing your blonde ho—women in her face?"
"She couldn't have told you I did that, Am because I never did."
"She didn't say you did, but how do you think she felt knowing you compared her to them?"
"I never did that either. You're assuming things that never happened without any evidence."
"Well, she must have thought—"
"It's over, Am. She and I are not going to have a happy ever after ending—at least not with each other."
"But you could have with just a little effort. You still can. Despite what you say she doesn't feel you were her first love, Thomas. And there's something very special about a first real love. You could win her back if you tried."
Or I could end up hurt again. I'd had enough pain from her and wasn't interested in anymore. "What you need to do is to concentrate on being happy and let us worry about ourselves. We're both adults. We'll be fine. Marry your dumbass John and be happy with him."
"Do you want to talk to him?"
"Why the hell would I want to talk to him, Am?"
"Because he almost lost me as you're about to lose Sher. Maybe he could help you come to your senses before it's too late."
"There's nothing to talk about and it's already too late."
"Thomas—"
"She told you she doesn't want to see me again."
"Do you want to see her?"
Oh hell yes. "I'd like to tell her personally that I'm sorry, but that's really out of the question."
"Why?"
"Because she doesn't want to see me, Am. You told me so yourself."
"You could change her mind with a little effort."
"I know you're upset for her but she'll fall in love again." Hell, she seemed to have a knack for falling in and out of love, mostly with me.
"And what about you, Thomas? Will you fall in love again?"
Oh, fuck. I shook my head. "I'm not in love now, Am, so don't delude yourself into thinking I am. And for God's sake, don't say anything to her to make her think I'm in love with her."
"Oh, Thomas, why can't you admit how you feel?"
I had to admit I'd seen much better days than the ones I'd struggled through since Sherlyn had kicked my ass to the curb without any warning or explanation. Of course if I'd been thinking with my brain instead of my cock and an even more treacherous part of my body, I'd have seen it coming and been prepared. But hell would freeze the fuck over before I allowed her or any other woman to break my heart. "Don't worry about me. I'll be fine," I assured her in a voice so confident sounding that I almost believed it myself. "I am fine."
Okay. So I'd blown it with Sherlyn by not realizing in time that I wanted her to love me or that some deeply hidden part of me even needed it. I couldn't change the past or make her love me again. All I could do was move forward. Granted my immediate emotional future looked grim, but I was a survivor and a realist. Sherlyn sending Am to deliver her Dear Thomas message made it crystal clear that she had no desire or interest in trying to rekindle our sweet but all too brief relationship.
After Amber left, I went to a florist and ordered a bouquet of flowers. It took several minutes of indecision before I decided what to write on the card.
I'm sorry if I hurt you but I know you'll find the happiness you deserve. And when you do I'll be happy for you. Thomas.
You'll be happy for her? Really? Were you happy for her the last time she fell out of love with you? I inhaled slowly. Okay.Maybe I wouldn't be happy but I wouldn't do anything to interfere with her new relationship.
I paid for the flowers and walked out. Then feeling the need to justify myself with her I wrote her a letter. I tossed several in the trash before I finally settled on the one I sent her. Once the letter was on its way, I knew it was officially over for us. Still, not quite able to let go, I called my brother Michael.
"I need a favor," I said when he answered.
"What do you need?" he asked.
I told him Sherlyn and I were no longer seeing each
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