where I was when I was on my knees. When it was like this, I wasn’t confused about anything. When I looked at myself in the mirror, I thought I was beautiful.
I still feel beautiful when I walk out of my bathroom and I see his face. He is standing by the window. He has made up the bed. I feel my mouth in the weirdest smile. I know when I see him that I am over nothing.
Our eyes catch like hooks. And for once we are mirrored, for once we are looking at each other with ease. It’s the thrilling ease of seeing something you are. It seems funny to me all of a sudden. My smile gapes wider. I see all his teeth.
I know: this time things will be different because this time I am looking straight at him.
We don’t say a word. I still don’t know where to put all my desire. My desire for him always hurts when it rises. But I am pressing against whatever it is that is coming off him. I keep pressing into that place where I think I am falling, where I brace myself to fall, to come up again, to come and to fall.
I go down on my knees because I want to. I unzip his pants. I’ll take everything you give me , I am thinking so clearly, because I know I am taking in every part of you . With my mouth on his cock and his cock in my mouth I start to really relax. When I am here, I am right where I am: inside that place where I need to be badly, where he can feel everything, from right where I speak. I’m sucking his hook, I am swallowing whole. His sounds come out like the grunts of forever. I know he will have me, this time for good, love through his hands on the back of my head, I will always suck more to the sounds of this praying. I will always suck more to the end of all ends. I squeeze my whole life into this place, where his love meets my lips, shooting out like a piston. It’s the heart that he gives me. Half of a heart, a life full of secrets.
My man stops me and looks. His hand cradles under my chin. His cock is right there, as hard as a horn. Then he slides his arm around my neck, hugging my face tight to his thighs. My whole body instinctively jerks and draws back.
‘You love me?’ he says, still holding my chin.
I am looking at you.
‘I love you.’
We end up lying on the floor face to face. My legs are open wide. His hands stroke my waist. He is coming in naked. He presses on my mouth. His cock is inside me. I pull him all in. Our bodies go fast. It is hot it is hot we are pulsing together.
This is what happens.
Do you see what I see? How I fell back to him? Why I stayed and I stayed near the shield of his chest?
It’s because nothing can really die between half-hearted people. We’re sharing our hearts and we’re down on the ground, where we can confess that there’s nothing we know about each other. There we are stuck, beating on each other’s chests, where all we know is what we’re going to do.
THE WAY
OF THE
WHORE
Sister, the Enchanter
has stolen my heart –
where can I go,
what can I do –
he took the breath from my lungs.
I’d gone to the river,
a jug on my head,
when a figure rose through the darkness.
Sister, it cast a sorcerer’s noose
and it bound me.
What the world calls virtue suddenly
vanished.
I performed a strange rite –
Mira may be a slave, sister,
but she herself
chose whom to sleep with.
– Mirabai, 14981550
MIRE
T hings are different in the middle of the night. Rooms, legs, eyes, whatever. The air’s so full of static that no one can see, so everyone just acts, because all acts are fine.
The acts that have led me to the middle of the night reveal their inevitable order when I’m stuck. When all my soft and black thoughts slide into a chain.
Until at just the right moment, finally I’m lucid and I know how a cock can complete me. A good hard cock never leaves you alone.
But morning is broken on its way in. I don’t care what anyone says about the dawn. Its cracks break me too.
‘Men think a woman walking alone at night is a whore,’ John
I still feel beautiful when I walk out of my bathroom and I see his face. He is standing by the window. He has made up the bed. I feel my mouth in the weirdest smile. I know when I see him that I am over nothing.
Our eyes catch like hooks. And for once we are mirrored, for once we are looking at each other with ease. It’s the thrilling ease of seeing something you are. It seems funny to me all of a sudden. My smile gapes wider. I see all his teeth.
I know: this time things will be different because this time I am looking straight at him.
We don’t say a word. I still don’t know where to put all my desire. My desire for him always hurts when it rises. But I am pressing against whatever it is that is coming off him. I keep pressing into that place where I think I am falling, where I brace myself to fall, to come up again, to come and to fall.
I go down on my knees because I want to. I unzip his pants. I’ll take everything you give me , I am thinking so clearly, because I know I am taking in every part of you . With my mouth on his cock and his cock in my mouth I start to really relax. When I am here, I am right where I am: inside that place where I need to be badly, where he can feel everything, from right where I speak. I’m sucking his hook, I am swallowing whole. His sounds come out like the grunts of forever. I know he will have me, this time for good, love through his hands on the back of my head, I will always suck more to the sounds of this praying. I will always suck more to the end of all ends. I squeeze my whole life into this place, where his love meets my lips, shooting out like a piston. It’s the heart that he gives me. Half of a heart, a life full of secrets.
My man stops me and looks. His hand cradles under my chin. His cock is right there, as hard as a horn. Then he slides his arm around my neck, hugging my face tight to his thighs. My whole body instinctively jerks and draws back.
‘You love me?’ he says, still holding my chin.
I am looking at you.
‘I love you.’
We end up lying on the floor face to face. My legs are open wide. His hands stroke my waist. He is coming in naked. He presses on my mouth. His cock is inside me. I pull him all in. Our bodies go fast. It is hot it is hot we are pulsing together.
This is what happens.
Do you see what I see? How I fell back to him? Why I stayed and I stayed near the shield of his chest?
It’s because nothing can really die between half-hearted people. We’re sharing our hearts and we’re down on the ground, where we can confess that there’s nothing we know about each other. There we are stuck, beating on each other’s chests, where all we know is what we’re going to do.
THE WAY
OF THE
WHORE
Sister, the Enchanter
has stolen my heart –
where can I go,
what can I do –
he took the breath from my lungs.
I’d gone to the river,
a jug on my head,
when a figure rose through the darkness.
Sister, it cast a sorcerer’s noose
and it bound me.
What the world calls virtue suddenly
vanished.
I performed a strange rite –
Mira may be a slave, sister,
but she herself
chose whom to sleep with.
– Mirabai, 14981550
MIRE
T hings are different in the middle of the night. Rooms, legs, eyes, whatever. The air’s so full of static that no one can see, so everyone just acts, because all acts are fine.
The acts that have led me to the middle of the night reveal their inevitable order when I’m stuck. When all my soft and black thoughts slide into a chain.
Until at just the right moment, finally I’m lucid and I know how a cock can complete me. A good hard cock never leaves you alone.
But morning is broken on its way in. I don’t care what anyone says about the dawn. Its cracks break me too.
‘Men think a woman walking alone at night is a whore,’ John
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