Lisa Heidke by Lucy Springer Gets Even (mobi) Page B

I cried, threw things, but bit by bit I picked myself up, got a killer haircut, joined a gym, upgraded my vibrator and said “fuck you” to the world. I guess you have to decide whether this situation is a blip you and Max can work through or whether there’s no turning back.’
    ‘I don’t know. It’s impossible when I can’t even get hold of him to speak to. How did you know your marriage was definitely over?’
    ‘Well, let’s see. Brad had an affair with this whore at his work and I found out when I accidentally overheard a phone conversation between them. He ended it with her, but then the whore - Jacqui - rang and told me everything, because I “needed to know the kind of man I was married to”. She listed all the presents he’d bought her, the secret trips they’d been on. Then, to top it off, she sent letters to our neighbours sharing explicit details of their affair. Talk about not wanting to show your face again!’
    ‘So you separated?’
    ‘Nah, we limped on for another two years - and hey, I celebrated what would have been our twelfth wedding anniversary this year by taking the kids to Disneyland. I’m still paying it off, but let me tell you, it was worth it. I’m free. My new life’s turning out better than the old one.’
    I’m not convinced.

Day 26
    A fter a particularly bad night’s sleep, I take myself off to Lina, my doctor, and blubber that Max has left me, my builders never turn up when they say they will and I want to run away to a happy place where no one will ever find me.
    She nods sympathetically and offers me antidepressants.
    ‘No, thank you,’ I tell her in my most indignant tone.
    ‘How’s your hand?’ she asks, poking it and examining where the stitches have dissolved.
    ‘Much better.’
    ‘No more accidents with knives?’
    ‘No, of course not.’
    After a physical check-up and a bit more chat, Lina asks again if I’d like antidepressants. ‘Just until you’re feeling better.’
    This time I say yes.
    When the kids get home, Bella has a serious freak-out about the dust, and I can’t blame her. It’s horrific. I wonder if the builders sprinkle it everywhere to see how far they can push us before we all have a breakdown.
    I’m relieved to put the kids to bed so I can have some time alone. I’m feeling so depressed, I wonder if I really am on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I’ve been trying so hard to stay strong and in control for the children, to avoid falling into a heap every other day. There seems to be a sort of unwritten rule between the three of us that we don’t mention Max. He’s become the big fat elephant in the room who nobody talks about.
    I know it’s not good parenting to hide the truth from them, but the truth is, I’m having a really hard time dealing with the fact that my husband’s left me for a nineteen-year-old, for Christ’s sake. Even harder is watching Bella and Sam being so grown-up about this horrible ordeal. They clearly miss him. He is their father, after all.
    Nadia suggested I should talk to her lawyer, check out my options. But I’m not ready for that yet. It sounds so final.

Day 27
    I think I’ve been too patient with the builders, Patch in particular. He always has an excuse for why there hasn’t been more progress. ‘I’m sorry to complain,’ I tend to begin most conversations, when in fact I’m seething with fury. The builders have a job to do and they’re being paid well for it. They’ve completely blown out their initial time estimate and I’m over it.
    I start writing a whinge list.
    1. No feature tiles used under capping in bathroom, which I specifically purchased two months ago. It set the tiler back two weeks because he had to take away the capping, breaking several dozen pre-existing tiles in the process.
    2. We still only have one toilet because we surrendered the second one to the builders after I walked in on Joel sitting on the loo upstairs. I still can’t erase the image from my mind. (Since