Lifespan of Starlight by Thalia Kalkipsakis Page A

can’t .’
    Mason leans away, his head straightening and his eyes hardening as he registers the
words I said.
    I think my heart has stopped.
    ‘Can’t or won’t ?’
    All I can do is shake my head.
    We’re left staring at each other. Mason’s forehead pinches, and he turns away.
    He thinks I’ve rejected him, I realise with a breath. But then my throat goes tight. He thinks I’ve rejected him.
    ‘I have to go.’ There’s no air left in me, but somehow the words come out. Already
I’m standing, blindly grabbing my bag. Escape is all I can think of.
    At the door, I pause and glance back: ‘See you.’
    ‘Bye.’ He hasn’t moved. He’s still sitting in the same place, facing the space on
the floor where I used to be.
----
    At home I gulp down a glass of water, my heart still thudding at how close I just
came. If he ever realises I can’t time skip …
    I’ve been meditating on my own every day, sinking into the quiet spaces of my mind
and feeling my way into the silent tunnel. It’s not so much about taking control
of time as letting it go.
    My mind is spinning right now, but I have to try. I find a place on the mat, and
breathe out. My shoulders relax as I let go, drifting down until I’m deep inside.
It’s cold down here, in this dull-mute place. There’s no light and no air. No wonder
Mason found it difficult at first.
    Mason.
    The next thing I know I’m out with a rush, sucked back by the mess of today. I take
in the world around me, rubbing warmth back into my arms as if to remind myself that
I exist.
    My eyes close at the disappointment. Come on, Scout. You can do this.
    You have to.

I ’M HEADING OUT to collect our delivery on Monday night when I catch Alistair carrying his box
back to his room.
    He sees me in the hallway, and lifts his chin. Any news, Agent X?’
    ‘Not yet.’ A slow sigh. ‘Should be soon.’ I’ve tried hacking in to the Karoly High
School server, but all I could find was a list of applicants and their contact details.
‘They said I’d receive a response either way.’ Think I added that last bit more for
myself than Alistair.
    His chin drops. ‘Be sure to let me know.’ He straightens his back, steadying himself
to keep walking along the hall.
    I shuffle forwards as if to block his way. ‘So, how are you doing?’
    ‘Still working.’ A pause, as his eyes come to understand and rest on me. ‘How are
you?’
    ‘Good.’ I check for Mr or Mrs Richardson and decide the coast is clear. I drop my
voice just in case. ‘What would you say if I told you that the stuff I was telling
you about Relative Time Theory was true?’
    Alistair’s bushy eyebrows go up, but it’s more about paying attention than actually
believing.
    ‘I can prove it.’
    More of a reaction this time: a jerk on the head, but it’s tinged with disbelief.
‘You can choose where you are in time?’ Alistair asks slowly.
    ‘No. Not me, yet.’ I push down the frustration. I’ve spent all of this past week
meditating but each time I come close, I seem to get stuck. It’s like I can’t find
a way out the other side. ‘But … I’ve seen it happen.’
    Even as I’m saying the words, I can tell Alistair has barely heard them. They don’t
carry the weight that I thought they would.
    ‘Scout, listen.’ Alistair shifts the weight of the box in his hands. ‘Be careful,
yes? If I were considering a candidate for my elite school, I’d do some background
checks. Do you understand?’
    Then again, why would Alistair understand the news I just told him? Unless he actually
saw a time skip for real, there’s no reason for him to believe that it’s possible.
Maybe I should show him the gaps on the grid …
    ‘Scout,’ Alistair says, a little louder. ‘Those sites you’ve been reading, and all
the hours you spend on the grid. If I can see what you’re doing, then other people
can see it, too. Even with a firewall set up, there are ways around it.’
    I frown, not bothering to hide my