phone calls in which I was transferred to the wrong person or placed on hold for long periods at a time, I finally got through to Officer Miller, who was in charge of Shayna’s case. With his guidance, we were able to provide Alabama Department of Human Resources the documents they needed to start processing me as an eligible candidate to adopt my sister.
It took roughly two weeks for them to receive my background check and employment verification. I used that time productively, working overtime so I could earn extra money I was sure to need. And I cleaned obsessively. I knew someone from the Department of Children and Families would show up at my house unannounced, so I made sure to have my house clean at all times. Every day I vacuumed and mopped where necessary. I also dusted every crevice, bleached the bathrooms, and scrubbed the kitchen. Every night I’d take a Xanax and wash it down with a glass of wine. Apparently cleaning causes anxiety.
Before I had time to question what I was doing, I had bought my ticket to my hometown and was boarding the plane. I wasn’t returning home, I reassured myself. No, I was simply going for a short period of time and once I had Shayna with me, I’d return to Miami. My real home. When I discussed my situation with my boss, he had offered to give me two weeks of paid leave. I couldn’t thank him enough, but hated being in his debt.
The plane took off smoothly, but I grasped the sides of my seat and tried to calm my wrecked nerves by counting the pounding behind my chest. Because, obviously, that would help, I thought sarcastically. I wasn’t nervous about the flight, but where the plane was taking me. I had never wanted to go back.
I busied myself reading and listening to music, but found that neither could calm me. As had become the norm, sleep continued to dodge me. Since I could not rest my mind, I let it drift. From what Miller had told me, it would take several months for me to be able to adopt Shayna, but I might be able to have temporary custody of her until I was found qualified.
And would they find me qualified? I had a job and an apartment, and while that was more than my mother offered me growing up, was it enough? I hoped so. Once I realized I was Shayna’s only option for a real home, I actually wanted the responsibility of taking care of her. I wanted her in my life. I wanted her to have a better life than I had. Certainly I could provide her that.
Miller, who insisted I call him Nate, met me at the airport and took me to my hotel. I didn’t talk much, seeing as he seemed comfortable doing all the talking. I watched him and answered when appropriate, hoping he didn’t think I was slow-witted. But it was hard to get a grasp on reality, what with all the turmoil in my head and being in such close proximity with what I was sure was a male Aphrodite.
Everything about Nate screamed masculinity, from his square jaw, dark blonde crew cut hair, and strong, no bullshit green eyes. And familiarity. Could I have known him when I was Jordyn? I couldn’t remember and he didn’t bring it up. If we had known each other, than he would know what I had left behind and was considerate enough to not bring up our past.
He was young, probably around the same age as me, but already lines were forming in the outer edges of his eyes. He spoke to me about Shayna with such casual determination, I almost didn’t see how tired he looked. It was obvious Shayna had stopped being a case for him a long time ago. Shayna was personal.
He had been working on Shayna’s case since the day they found my mother dead in her mobile home. Shayna had been quiet in the beginning. She hadn’t spoken a single word for two months, but that hadn’t stopped Nate from visiting her every day. He was obviously taken with her and brought her dolls and played quietly with her until she was comfortable enough to speak to him. It took time, but they had become friends.
“Now, there ain’t no getting her to
It took roughly two weeks for them to receive my background check and employment verification. I used that time productively, working overtime so I could earn extra money I was sure to need. And I cleaned obsessively. I knew someone from the Department of Children and Families would show up at my house unannounced, so I made sure to have my house clean at all times. Every day I vacuumed and mopped where necessary. I also dusted every crevice, bleached the bathrooms, and scrubbed the kitchen. Every night I’d take a Xanax and wash it down with a glass of wine. Apparently cleaning causes anxiety.
Before I had time to question what I was doing, I had bought my ticket to my hometown and was boarding the plane. I wasn’t returning home, I reassured myself. No, I was simply going for a short period of time and once I had Shayna with me, I’d return to Miami. My real home. When I discussed my situation with my boss, he had offered to give me two weeks of paid leave. I couldn’t thank him enough, but hated being in his debt.
The plane took off smoothly, but I grasped the sides of my seat and tried to calm my wrecked nerves by counting the pounding behind my chest. Because, obviously, that would help, I thought sarcastically. I wasn’t nervous about the flight, but where the plane was taking me. I had never wanted to go back.
I busied myself reading and listening to music, but found that neither could calm me. As had become the norm, sleep continued to dodge me. Since I could not rest my mind, I let it drift. From what Miller had told me, it would take several months for me to be able to adopt Shayna, but I might be able to have temporary custody of her until I was found qualified.
And would they find me qualified? I had a job and an apartment, and while that was more than my mother offered me growing up, was it enough? I hoped so. Once I realized I was Shayna’s only option for a real home, I actually wanted the responsibility of taking care of her. I wanted her in my life. I wanted her to have a better life than I had. Certainly I could provide her that.
Miller, who insisted I call him Nate, met me at the airport and took me to my hotel. I didn’t talk much, seeing as he seemed comfortable doing all the talking. I watched him and answered when appropriate, hoping he didn’t think I was slow-witted. But it was hard to get a grasp on reality, what with all the turmoil in my head and being in such close proximity with what I was sure was a male Aphrodite.
Everything about Nate screamed masculinity, from his square jaw, dark blonde crew cut hair, and strong, no bullshit green eyes. And familiarity. Could I have known him when I was Jordyn? I couldn’t remember and he didn’t bring it up. If we had known each other, than he would know what I had left behind and was considerate enough to not bring up our past.
He was young, probably around the same age as me, but already lines were forming in the outer edges of his eyes. He spoke to me about Shayna with such casual determination, I almost didn’t see how tired he looked. It was obvious Shayna had stopped being a case for him a long time ago. Shayna was personal.
He had been working on Shayna’s case since the day they found my mother dead in her mobile home. Shayna had been quiet in the beginning. She hadn’t spoken a single word for two months, but that hadn’t stopped Nate from visiting her every day. He was obviously taken with her and brought her dolls and played quietly with her until she was comfortable enough to speak to him. It took time, but they had become friends.
“Now, there ain’t no getting her to
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