saying.
“Can I presume that my children were with you ladies last night?” Dr. J. asked.
“Yes,” Lu replied absently, not offering any other explanation but she caught sight of her mother’s questioning look. And she ignored it. She took another sip of her coffee, letting the silence become their fifth companion. She didn’t think she was trying to let them stew, but she may have been. It struck her when she saw them all together, waiting for her, that she was pissed. For the first time in eight years, she realized that she hated each of them just a little bit. It wasn’t overt. It wasn’t even enough to make note of—until right then.
“Dr. J., I want you to know how sorry I am for you. I have always admired your relationship with Mr. P. There always seemed to be this understanding between you two. And it was so obvious that he loved you and you him. When I used to dream of having a relationship, yours was one that I held up as the pinnacle. And since I’ve had Nina, he has been my greatest supporter. Greater than the three of you combined.”
She stopped and turned away from them. Gathering herself. Thinking of and talking about Mr. P. was hard. She hadn’t meant to sound like a bitch or take anything away from any of them, but she wanted them to know how much his loss was going to affect her. She wiped away the tears from her face and slowly turned back to them. She looked over them—not at them, because she didn’t want to see the emotions playing across their faces.
“To see him with Nina made my heart sing. I don’t know how else to describe it. I know he found joy in all of the mannerisms that she inherited from Lex. I know he loved her because he could see his son in her. But it was so much more than that. He loved her because she was Nina. I think he died regretting the decisions that were made eight years ago.”
“Louisa May,” her mother said, shooting up out of her seat. “That’s enough. You are being incredibly insensitive.”
Lu stood there, trying not to glare at her mother. Please be on my side, she thought. Without meaning to, she looked directly into Josephine Pellitteri’s eyes. They weren’t green like Lex’s, but the soulfulness of his eyes he got from his mother. Jo reached out and patted Amber’s arm.
“It’s OK, Amber. She’s not saying anything I don’t know. And I bet she’s been sitting on this for a long time.” Jo never took her eyes off of Lu. Inclining her head, she granted Lu permission to continue.
Bitch, thought Lu. I’m reprimanding them and she’s giving me permission.
“I’m doing this my way. That’s what I came over here to tell you. Although I was going to tell you all separately, before you ambushed me.”
“Lu, we knew you’d come when you’d figured out what you wanted to do. This wasn’t an ambush.”
“It’s neither here nor there,” she said waving away her mother’s comment with her hand. “Sky is on her way here with Nina. Nina won’t be at the funeral. I haven’t even told her about Grampa Mike because I didn’t know how.” She paused, hating that she hadn’t been able to sit down with Nina before she’d had to rush here. “I’m not going to share much more than this with you. What I do today is what I think is best for Nina and Lex. I haven’t asked for your opinions about it because I’m not sure that I care.”
Angry and surprised by her anger, Lu took another moment. She turned away from them. How is it that I didn’t realize that I held them responsible? she thought. Trying to get a grip on her anger, she walked to the edge of the patio and looked out into the dawn. The possibilities of the dawn. Her mother could probably quote great works of literature that paid tribute to the new beginnings promised at the start of each day. But as Lu looked out over the horizon, she only saw endings for her. Lex could get a beginning. She was going to do everything in her power to ensure that he got the endless
“Can I presume that my children were with you ladies last night?” Dr. J. asked.
“Yes,” Lu replied absently, not offering any other explanation but she caught sight of her mother’s questioning look. And she ignored it. She took another sip of her coffee, letting the silence become their fifth companion. She didn’t think she was trying to let them stew, but she may have been. It struck her when she saw them all together, waiting for her, that she was pissed. For the first time in eight years, she realized that she hated each of them just a little bit. It wasn’t overt. It wasn’t even enough to make note of—until right then.
“Dr. J., I want you to know how sorry I am for you. I have always admired your relationship with Mr. P. There always seemed to be this understanding between you two. And it was so obvious that he loved you and you him. When I used to dream of having a relationship, yours was one that I held up as the pinnacle. And since I’ve had Nina, he has been my greatest supporter. Greater than the three of you combined.”
She stopped and turned away from them. Gathering herself. Thinking of and talking about Mr. P. was hard. She hadn’t meant to sound like a bitch or take anything away from any of them, but she wanted them to know how much his loss was going to affect her. She wiped away the tears from her face and slowly turned back to them. She looked over them—not at them, because she didn’t want to see the emotions playing across their faces.
“To see him with Nina made my heart sing. I don’t know how else to describe it. I know he found joy in all of the mannerisms that she inherited from Lex. I know he loved her because he could see his son in her. But it was so much more than that. He loved her because she was Nina. I think he died regretting the decisions that were made eight years ago.”
“Louisa May,” her mother said, shooting up out of her seat. “That’s enough. You are being incredibly insensitive.”
Lu stood there, trying not to glare at her mother. Please be on my side, she thought. Without meaning to, she looked directly into Josephine Pellitteri’s eyes. They weren’t green like Lex’s, but the soulfulness of his eyes he got from his mother. Jo reached out and patted Amber’s arm.
“It’s OK, Amber. She’s not saying anything I don’t know. And I bet she’s been sitting on this for a long time.” Jo never took her eyes off of Lu. Inclining her head, she granted Lu permission to continue.
Bitch, thought Lu. I’m reprimanding them and she’s giving me permission.
“I’m doing this my way. That’s what I came over here to tell you. Although I was going to tell you all separately, before you ambushed me.”
“Lu, we knew you’d come when you’d figured out what you wanted to do. This wasn’t an ambush.”
“It’s neither here nor there,” she said waving away her mother’s comment with her hand. “Sky is on her way here with Nina. Nina won’t be at the funeral. I haven’t even told her about Grampa Mike because I didn’t know how.” She paused, hating that she hadn’t been able to sit down with Nina before she’d had to rush here. “I’m not going to share much more than this with you. What I do today is what I think is best for Nina and Lex. I haven’t asked for your opinions about it because I’m not sure that I care.”
Angry and surprised by her anger, Lu took another moment. She turned away from them. How is it that I didn’t realize that I held them responsible? she thought. Trying to get a grip on her anger, she walked to the edge of the patio and looked out into the dawn. The possibilities of the dawn. Her mother could probably quote great works of literature that paid tribute to the new beginnings promised at the start of each day. But as Lu looked out over the horizon, she only saw endings for her. Lex could get a beginning. She was going to do everything in her power to ensure that he got the endless
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