watching the fireworks of false light images her darkness-tricked eyes kept displaying. She swigged water, spat, checked her luminous watch: 4:17 P.M. After leaving Halsted’s grave, they had climbed until Ely could go no farther and camped near a watercourse. She had slept for four hours and still felt exhausted.
“Kurt?”
The rushing water was loud. She called his name again. Her flashlight beam swept the camp area, and she saw his black sleeping bag. Empty. She stood, shouted his name, flashed her light up and down—the universal distress signal. No response.
Kneeling beside his sleeping bag, she found two things: their notebook with the cave route map and a torn-out page filled with barely legible printing:
Hallie—
I was responsible for Devan’s death. No. That is too easy. I killed him . You were right. I should have checked his rappel rig. I knew that but I was so tired and now he is dead. There will be an inquest and everyone will know that I was re killed him. I don’t think I could live with that. There’s more. Devan and I were closer than you knew.
I’m going back to be with Devan. Please don’t search for me. It would only put you in danger for no good reason. I’m leaving the cave map to get you out. I won’t need it. I have been honored to know you even this brief time. I will pray for your safe exit from this cave. Pray for me if you can.
Kurt
She nearly shuddered, filled with a mix of rage and pity. Should she go after him? She could find the grave, but then what? Talk him into returning? Not likely. Tie him up in climbing rope and haul him back? Ridiculous. But neither did she feel comfortable packing up and leaving.
She decided to wait at the camp one full day. She was out of food, but batteries were more important, and she had enough for another forty-eight hours, at least. She would spend most of the next twenty-four in the dark, so that should leave enough to get out. If Ely was not back the next day, she could assume that he was not coming back at all.
***
He did not come back, and Hallie started out. Her journey became a blur of tight tunnels, freezing lakes, vertical climbs, boulder fields. Early on, rocks broke from a ceiling far above and exploded on the cave floor twenty feet away. All caves were beautiful to Hallie, but Talisto was particularly beautiful, its walls striped in brilliant colors from mineral deposits, the formations fantastic beyond imagining, punctuated by gigantic waterfalls and chambers bigger than Grand Central Station. Going down, she had reveled in this magic realm. Now, coming out, she was too exhausted to notice.
It began to seem like she was detached from her body, feeling nothing, watching her progress from without. She thought more often of dying and found, as she had in other places, that it remained only a word. She assumed it would be so right up to the last breath andheartbeat. At least that was how it appeared when she helped recover bodies of very strong cavers and climbers. To a person they had died open-eyed and astonished.
***
She kept moving, but more and more slowly; there would come a time, she knew, when her mind could no longer compel her body and she would sit down and not get up again. According to the route map, she was close to the surface, but she might be closer to the end of her strength. Still standing, she felt her eyes close, felt sleep’s lulling pull, and almost lay down. Then she heard her soldier father’s voice:
Die before you quit
.
She stood up straight and said, “I am not going to die here.” It made her feel better to tell the cave that. So she shouted, and the cave answered in rolling volleys of echoes:
“
Die here … die here … die here
.”
Day Six: Monday
2
Hector Villanueva was rarely happy these days, given the escalating assaults on his person and prosperity. Just now, though, he was enjoying himself, and clearly his guest was, as well. They were at Oro Nuevo, one of Villanueva’s remote
“Kurt?”
The rushing water was loud. She called his name again. Her flashlight beam swept the camp area, and she saw his black sleeping bag. Empty. She stood, shouted his name, flashed her light up and down—the universal distress signal. No response.
Kneeling beside his sleeping bag, she found two things: their notebook with the cave route map and a torn-out page filled with barely legible printing:
Hallie—
I was responsible for Devan’s death. No. That is too easy. I killed him . You were right. I should have checked his rappel rig. I knew that but I was so tired and now he is dead. There will be an inquest and everyone will know that I was re killed him. I don’t think I could live with that. There’s more. Devan and I were closer than you knew.
I’m going back to be with Devan. Please don’t search for me. It would only put you in danger for no good reason. I’m leaving the cave map to get you out. I won’t need it. I have been honored to know you even this brief time. I will pray for your safe exit from this cave. Pray for me if you can.
Kurt
She nearly shuddered, filled with a mix of rage and pity. Should she go after him? She could find the grave, but then what? Talk him into returning? Not likely. Tie him up in climbing rope and haul him back? Ridiculous. But neither did she feel comfortable packing up and leaving.
She decided to wait at the camp one full day. She was out of food, but batteries were more important, and she had enough for another forty-eight hours, at least. She would spend most of the next twenty-four in the dark, so that should leave enough to get out. If Ely was not back the next day, she could assume that he was not coming back at all.
***
He did not come back, and Hallie started out. Her journey became a blur of tight tunnels, freezing lakes, vertical climbs, boulder fields. Early on, rocks broke from a ceiling far above and exploded on the cave floor twenty feet away. All caves were beautiful to Hallie, but Talisto was particularly beautiful, its walls striped in brilliant colors from mineral deposits, the formations fantastic beyond imagining, punctuated by gigantic waterfalls and chambers bigger than Grand Central Station. Going down, she had reveled in this magic realm. Now, coming out, she was too exhausted to notice.
It began to seem like she was detached from her body, feeling nothing, watching her progress from without. She thought more often of dying and found, as she had in other places, that it remained only a word. She assumed it would be so right up to the last breath andheartbeat. At least that was how it appeared when she helped recover bodies of very strong cavers and climbers. To a person they had died open-eyed and astonished.
***
She kept moving, but more and more slowly; there would come a time, she knew, when her mind could no longer compel her body and she would sit down and not get up again. According to the route map, she was close to the surface, but she might be closer to the end of her strength. Still standing, she felt her eyes close, felt sleep’s lulling pull, and almost lay down. Then she heard her soldier father’s voice:
Die before you quit
.
She stood up straight and said, “I am not going to die here.” It made her feel better to tell the cave that. So she shouted, and the cave answered in rolling volleys of echoes:
“
Die here … die here … die here
.”
Day Six: Monday
2
Hector Villanueva was rarely happy these days, given the escalating assaults on his person and prosperity. Just now, though, he was enjoying himself, and clearly his guest was, as well. They were at Oro Nuevo, one of Villanueva’s remote
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