Let the Church Say Amen by Reshonda Tate Billingsley Page A

face. Her father felt like a failure? That was news to her. Still, she couldn’t agree with her mother’s rationale.
    “I’m sorry, but I still think you’re mad at Carrie and Delilah and taking it out on me.”
    Loretta’s voice turned gentle. “Rachel, I’m not mad at them. I’m happy with who I am, all 228 pounds of me. That’s what you don’t understand; beauty is from within. You’re always talking about Shante, how fat she is. But I’d be willing to bet, Bobby fell in love with her mind. When you have that, everything else falls into place.”
    Rachel’s heart sank at the mention of Bobby loving someone else. She sucked it up and tried to force a smile. While she didn’t agree with her mother, she felt a newfound respect for her.
    Loretta straightened her back and held her head up. “Now, come on, let’s go do some shopping.”

14
    W HY WAS LIFE so complicated? Jonathan thought being with Veronica would return his life to normal. No such luck. He lay across the bed in his room, staring at a picture of his family. He, David, and Rachel were all little on that picture. It was taken in Virginia Beach, at one of the few family vacations they had ever taken. His dad looked like a proud father in that picture. Over the years, slowly but surely, that proud look had faded as far as David was concerned. Then Rachel. Jonathan knew it was only a matter of time before it would be gone for him as well.
    The phone rang, breaking the silence that had settled in the room. Jonathan looked at the Caller ID. It was Veronica, again. He really didn’t mean to avoid her, but the other night proved he just wasn’t ready for another relationship. Not yet anyway. Granted, she finally gave him an erection, but with her off her cycle, she’d want to have full sex. What if he couldn’t come through? It was all he’d thought about since that night. The last three women he’d been with before Tracy had all been a bust, including his last time with Angela. He had lied and told them he was on medication, but it was still embarrassing.
    The phone continued to ring. It was like she hung up, waited two minutes, and called right back. Did she know he was avoiding her calls? Jonathan had to get his head together. He thought being with Veronica would make him forget Tracy, but it only made things worse. He had to decide if he was going to love Tracy all the way or not at all. Why couldn’t he just make up his mind?
    Jonathan leaned in and cut off the ringer on his phone. This was her eighth call today. She had left a nasty message on his cell phone talking about how she didn’t appreciate him not returning her calls. A soft knock on the door startled Jonathan out of his thoughts.
    “Hey, Dad,” Jonathan said, answering it.
    “Hey, Son.” Simon eased into the room, looked around and smiled. “You’ve been here weeks and your room is still immaculate. Rachel and David would have had this place in shambles by now.”
    Jonathan managed a slight grin and sat on the edge of his bed. He knew his father always favored him, that’s why it was so difficult to be honest with him. He wasn’t sure that being a preacher was his calling. He wasn’t sure if he was even worthy of being a preacher. He could never tell his father that. It would tear him up.
    “You know I’ve always been a neat freak, Dad.”
    “I know. I remember you talking about how it drove your roommate crazy.” Simon laughed. “But that’s my boy. You got it together all the way around.”
    If only you knew, Jonathan thought. “So, Reverend Jackson, what brings you into this neck of the woods?”
    Simon sat down in the black leather chair across from Jonathan’s bed. “I just wanted to talk to you, Son. You don’t look the same. Oh, you put on a good front, but I see it in your eyes. Is something wrong?”
    Jonathan gazed at his father. How he wished he could tell him the truth, but that would never, ever happen. Jonathan looked down. He didn’t want to tear