I’m going to prosecute and then . . . I bet he got you drunk, didn’t he? I bet some idiot kid got you drunk. I’ll show him . . .”
“No one made me do anything I didn’t want to. You’re the idiot! I’m a screwup, Dad. I’m a fuckup, a big fat mistake!”
Sam wasn’t listening. “We’ll need a nanny. You can go back to school until it’s born. It’ll have to be the local high school now, but they’ve probably got a program for teenage mums and then we’ll get a nanny.”
“Don’t you see I’ve thrown away all the opportunities that you’ve given me? I’m nothing like Mum, you always said I was just like her, but I’m not. I got myself knocked up at fifteen. I disgust you. You hate me, admit it!”
For the first time, Sam stopped talking and looked at Chloe, who was staring up at him with burning eyes.
“I don’t hate you.” He looked utterly lost, so bewildered that for a second Willow wanted to reach out to him, reassure him. “I love you. I’ll always love you, Chloe, no matter what.”
“You don’t, Dad.” Chloe shook her head, adamant. “I annoy you, I let you down. You can’t wait for me to go to boarding school and stop disappointing you.”
“I don’t hate you, Chloe. I’m just . . . I’m knocked off my feet. This is a huge shock. You don’t know, you can’t understand what it’s like to see your baby girl—” He gestured at her stomach. “But we’ll sort it. We’ll cope, together.”
“I don’t want to cope together.” Chloe spoke with quiet determination. “I don’t want to come home.”
“Chloe.” Willow tried to intervene, but Chloe went on, her gaze fixed on her father.
“You don’t know a thing about me anymore. You haven’t for years. You don’t know that I started drinking vodka when I was twelve to try and help me get to sleep. You don’t know that I’d been having sex for almost a year before I got pregnant. You don’t know that last New Year’s I climbed out of my window at eleven and went out until dawn, even though you’d grounded me. You don’t notice that I’m pregnant . I just live in your house and get on your nerves.” Chloe’s expression was tight with fury. “You might not hate me, but I hate you. And we don’t have to cope because there won’t be anything to cope with. I’ve decided what I’m going to do already. I’m going to stay at Will’s until the baby’s born and then I’m having it adopted. Then I’ll go to boarding school and as soon as I’m old enough I’ll look after myself. You won’t have to worry about me anymore.”
“P-pardon?” Willow stammered, but she went unnoticed.
“You don’t mean that.” Sam stared at Chloe, as if he didn’t recognize her.
“Which part?” Chloe asked him.
“You don’t hate me, you don’t want to move out.”
“But you’re okay with the adoption bit?” Chloe questioned him.
“Well, I mean, you need time to think things through . . . we both do, but if that’s what’s right for you.”
“For you, you mean. That’s why I’m not coming back. If I came back then it would be for you. But it’s not.” Chloe put her hands over her belly. “I’m having it adopted for her or him. I want to stay here until it’s born.”
“With me?” Willow couldn’t stay out of it any longer. “Really?”
“Yes, obviously it’s your choice.” Chloe eyed her scathingly. “Either I’m here with you. Or on the street with the human traffickers and drug dealers. Your choice.”
“Or at home.” Sam tried again.
“No.” Chloe was adamant. “I’m not going there. And as I’ve got no grandparents, no aunties, no friends who are still talking to me, the only place left is here.” She looked at Willow. “You’re it. You’re Plan B.”
“Story of my life,” Willow said. She looked at Sam. He suddenly looked much smaller, much older, as if the air had been let out of him and he’d deflated a little. She’d seen him look like that once before and the memory ignited an
“No one made me do anything I didn’t want to. You’re the idiot! I’m a screwup, Dad. I’m a fuckup, a big fat mistake!”
Sam wasn’t listening. “We’ll need a nanny. You can go back to school until it’s born. It’ll have to be the local high school now, but they’ve probably got a program for teenage mums and then we’ll get a nanny.”
“Don’t you see I’ve thrown away all the opportunities that you’ve given me? I’m nothing like Mum, you always said I was just like her, but I’m not. I got myself knocked up at fifteen. I disgust you. You hate me, admit it!”
For the first time, Sam stopped talking and looked at Chloe, who was staring up at him with burning eyes.
“I don’t hate you.” He looked utterly lost, so bewildered that for a second Willow wanted to reach out to him, reassure him. “I love you. I’ll always love you, Chloe, no matter what.”
“You don’t, Dad.” Chloe shook her head, adamant. “I annoy you, I let you down. You can’t wait for me to go to boarding school and stop disappointing you.”
“I don’t hate you, Chloe. I’m just . . . I’m knocked off my feet. This is a huge shock. You don’t know, you can’t understand what it’s like to see your baby girl—” He gestured at her stomach. “But we’ll sort it. We’ll cope, together.”
“I don’t want to cope together.” Chloe spoke with quiet determination. “I don’t want to come home.”
“Chloe.” Willow tried to intervene, but Chloe went on, her gaze fixed on her father.
“You don’t know a thing about me anymore. You haven’t for years. You don’t know that I started drinking vodka when I was twelve to try and help me get to sleep. You don’t know that I’d been having sex for almost a year before I got pregnant. You don’t know that last New Year’s I climbed out of my window at eleven and went out until dawn, even though you’d grounded me. You don’t notice that I’m pregnant . I just live in your house and get on your nerves.” Chloe’s expression was tight with fury. “You might not hate me, but I hate you. And we don’t have to cope because there won’t be anything to cope with. I’ve decided what I’m going to do already. I’m going to stay at Will’s until the baby’s born and then I’m having it adopted. Then I’ll go to boarding school and as soon as I’m old enough I’ll look after myself. You won’t have to worry about me anymore.”
“P-pardon?” Willow stammered, but she went unnoticed.
“You don’t mean that.” Sam stared at Chloe, as if he didn’t recognize her.
“Which part?” Chloe asked him.
“You don’t hate me, you don’t want to move out.”
“But you’re okay with the adoption bit?” Chloe questioned him.
“Well, I mean, you need time to think things through . . . we both do, but if that’s what’s right for you.”
“For you, you mean. That’s why I’m not coming back. If I came back then it would be for you. But it’s not.” Chloe put her hands over her belly. “I’m having it adopted for her or him. I want to stay here until it’s born.”
“With me?” Willow couldn’t stay out of it any longer. “Really?”
“Yes, obviously it’s your choice.” Chloe eyed her scathingly. “Either I’m here with you. Or on the street with the human traffickers and drug dealers. Your choice.”
“Or at home.” Sam tried again.
“No.” Chloe was adamant. “I’m not going there. And as I’ve got no grandparents, no aunties, no friends who are still talking to me, the only place left is here.” She looked at Willow. “You’re it. You’re Plan B.”
“Story of my life,” Willow said. She looked at Sam. He suddenly looked much smaller, much older, as if the air had been let out of him and he’d deflated a little. She’d seen him look like that once before and the memory ignited an
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