there were. But she was giving me an answer that I desperately wanted to hear—even throwing in some biblical wisdom. Maybe God was speaking to me through her. I supposed He could speak that way if He chose to.
I wanted to ask more, to keep her talking until she convinced me fully. But I knew that if I did, she would eventually figure out exactly what I’d found. I didn’t want Lacey, or anyone else, to know that until I decided for sure what to do with it.
“Thanks, Lacey. I knew you’d have the answer.” I stood and hugged her, trying my best to pretend that everything was just fine now.
When I walked back inside my house, I continued to turn all the scenarios over in my mind, as neatly and efficiently as I’d turned the bat in my hand. I went so far as to find the Bible verse in question. I marked the spot in my Bible. It was from Psalm 103:12: “As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.” Yep, the Bible would back me up. Right? Even Lacey knew that. Finally, I reached my decision.
I tossed a load of Kurt’s laundry into the washer, then opened the crawl space to our attic. I climbed the short set of stairs, pulling up with my right hand, holding the bat in my left. Even before I reached the attic space, I felt as if the roof was closing in on me, suffocating me. The entire space was coated with a thick layer of dust that almost obscured the pink rows of foam insulation beneath. I took slow, deep breaths and crawled back across the beams for as far as I dared. When the fear of falling through the ceiling overwhelmed my fear at what I had in my hand, I stopped and pulled back a layer of insulation. I pushed the Louisville Slugger down into the remaining insulation until it lay almost flat, then made sure that it was fully covered when I put the top piece back down. I even used my hand to spread the disturbed dust. Slowly, I retraced my journey and crawled out of the attic.
The obvious best decision was to make no decision at this point. I didn’t have all the facts, and I hadn’t seen my son in a long time. I needed to know if he really had played a role in Rudy Prince’s murder, or if the bat was simply a piece of sports equipment. If I suspected the former, I needed to see how deep and how real a change he had truly made in his life. I promised myself I would put this piece of wood completely out of my mind until some sort of clear answer came to me.
Jana, one of the church secretaries, stood up from her desk the minute I entered the office. “I can’t believe you did that.”
Logic told me there was no way she knew anything I’d just done, but apparently guilt doesn’t listen to logic any better than grief does. “Did what?”
“Called and left a message that you’d be a couple of hours late, without so much as one clue as to what happened. How did dinner go last night? We want to hear everything.”
I looked around the empty room and tried to smile. “We?”
She pushed a couple of buttons on her phone and spoke into it, “Carleigh, Beth, Ken—Alisa’s here.” Then looked up and nodded. “Yes, we.”
Beth ran to her desk and sat. The children’s ministries director came flying into the room, panting like she’d just run a marathon. She dropped into a wing-backed chair against the far wall and clutched her chest. “Didn’t want to miss anything.” She looked around, “Where’s Ken?”
“I’m here.” He leaned against the doorway and offered his usual good-natured smile.
I held up my hands and shrugged, pretending to be as excited as I would have been just twelve hours ago. Before I opened the boxes. I knew that bat was harmless, knew it with all my heart, but an ugly voice deep inside kept telling me otherwise. Now was not the time to listen to it; now was the time for a good appearance. “What can I tell you? He looked great, he’s committed to staying clean and sober, and it felt like old times.” I paused for a minute and
I wanted to ask more, to keep her talking until she convinced me fully. But I knew that if I did, she would eventually figure out exactly what I’d found. I didn’t want Lacey, or anyone else, to know that until I decided for sure what to do with it.
“Thanks, Lacey. I knew you’d have the answer.” I stood and hugged her, trying my best to pretend that everything was just fine now.
When I walked back inside my house, I continued to turn all the scenarios over in my mind, as neatly and efficiently as I’d turned the bat in my hand. I went so far as to find the Bible verse in question. I marked the spot in my Bible. It was from Psalm 103:12: “As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.” Yep, the Bible would back me up. Right? Even Lacey knew that. Finally, I reached my decision.
I tossed a load of Kurt’s laundry into the washer, then opened the crawl space to our attic. I climbed the short set of stairs, pulling up with my right hand, holding the bat in my left. Even before I reached the attic space, I felt as if the roof was closing in on me, suffocating me. The entire space was coated with a thick layer of dust that almost obscured the pink rows of foam insulation beneath. I took slow, deep breaths and crawled back across the beams for as far as I dared. When the fear of falling through the ceiling overwhelmed my fear at what I had in my hand, I stopped and pulled back a layer of insulation. I pushed the Louisville Slugger down into the remaining insulation until it lay almost flat, then made sure that it was fully covered when I put the top piece back down. I even used my hand to spread the disturbed dust. Slowly, I retraced my journey and crawled out of the attic.
The obvious best decision was to make no decision at this point. I didn’t have all the facts, and I hadn’t seen my son in a long time. I needed to know if he really had played a role in Rudy Prince’s murder, or if the bat was simply a piece of sports equipment. If I suspected the former, I needed to see how deep and how real a change he had truly made in his life. I promised myself I would put this piece of wood completely out of my mind until some sort of clear answer came to me.
Jana, one of the church secretaries, stood up from her desk the minute I entered the office. “I can’t believe you did that.”
Logic told me there was no way she knew anything I’d just done, but apparently guilt doesn’t listen to logic any better than grief does. “Did what?”
“Called and left a message that you’d be a couple of hours late, without so much as one clue as to what happened. How did dinner go last night? We want to hear everything.”
I looked around the empty room and tried to smile. “We?”
She pushed a couple of buttons on her phone and spoke into it, “Carleigh, Beth, Ken—Alisa’s here.” Then looked up and nodded. “Yes, we.”
Beth ran to her desk and sat. The children’s ministries director came flying into the room, panting like she’d just run a marathon. She dropped into a wing-backed chair against the far wall and clutched her chest. “Didn’t want to miss anything.” She looked around, “Where’s Ken?”
“I’m here.” He leaned against the doorway and offered his usual good-natured smile.
I held up my hands and shrugged, pretending to be as excited as I would have been just twelve hours ago. Before I opened the boxes. I knew that bat was harmless, knew it with all my heart, but an ugly voice deep inside kept telling me otherwise. Now was not the time to listen to it; now was the time for a good appearance. “What can I tell you? He looked great, he’s committed to staying clean and sober, and it felt like old times.” I paused for a minute and
Similar Books
