tell you, it doesn’t seem to matter to you.”
“It does matter. Things that matter to you matter to me. But you’re wrong about Tom and me. It’s strictly friendship. Mark, I’ve never had someone close before who I could confide in, tell things to, and have a great time with.”
“That’s what I thought I was for.”
I cleared my throat. He had a valid point. But so did I. It was different. “You are more than that. You are the guy I can snuggle with while telling things to. It’s not the same with Tom. He is only a friend.”
Mark sighed. “Okay, I don’t want my last moments in this glorious, smelly boathouse to be talking about Tom. You just don’t get how the guy gets under my skin. You never will, I guess.”
Great! I hated how this had become an argument. Not like it was anything new. The only time we fought, it was over Tom. I couldn’t go out with him on the nights Mark worked without it being a conspiracy to bring Mark down. It was obvious we had more issues than Chicago.
“Mark, you have to take this job.” I looked down at my restless feet again. “Actually, I know you’ve already taken it, but you have to know why I can’t come with you.”
“It’s selfish of me to even ask you.”
“It’s not entirely. I’d like to think you’d ask because I mean something to you.” I smiled a little and held his cheek in my hand. He covered it with his warm hand.
“You mean everything to me.”
“I made myself a promise after my epic-fail-of-a-marriage with Wesley, that I wouldn’t do anything…I wouldn’t say anything that I didn’t truly mean. But, I lied to you.”
His brow furrowed. “What did you lie about?”
“I know we’ve been dating for a few months, but moving in together before my divorce was final was something I really didn’t want to do. It’s not that I didn’t love you; it’s just not the way I was brought up.”
“And moving to Chicago—”
“I’m not comfortable with at all.” I took his hand and held it tightly in mine. “I love you, Mark. But I don’t want to move away from all that I know…from everyone I know, to sit and wait for you to come home after a twelve-hour shift at the hospital and collapse from exhaustion.” I shook my head. “That sounds extremely shallow, because if I loved you it shouldn’t matter where we were, but I’m not there yet, I guess. I was hoping we could continue what we had and let nature take its course. I was hoping…”
I couldn’t say it. To say I was hoping he’d propose sounded childish and naive. But I was hoping it, nevertheless. Moving in with my boyfriend while I was still married to my husband was really stretching my moral cord. Moving to Chicago with him under the same circumstances just might break it altogether.
“You were hoping I’d stay at Mercer as a resident doctor, you’d continue clerking, and we’d live happily ever after?”
Well, not like that. That sounded cheap and uneventful. Boring and lame. Been there, done that.
“Not entirely. I thought you might want to marry me one day.” Yeah, throw a little fairy dust on that horrible description he’d just delivered of a ho-hum life. Continue clerking? Geeze… No, I saw Cinderella carriages, doves flying, and him dressed like Prince Charming. Please stay and be the prince, Mark.
He stepped backward, his hand raking through his unruly hair. “I love you, Amy. There is no doubt about it. You’ve changed me. You’ve given me the drive again to push me forward professionally and personally. I’m faithful…do you know I catch myself during the day smiling for no reason, other than knowing I’m going to be seeing you later? And I can’t imagine being with anyone other than you.”
So the problem is? I stretched my neck out, waiting for the answer to this subliminal question. This was knee-deep prince kind of talk.
“But I never imagined myself getting engaged again.”
“Oh.”
I could suddenly hear all the air go out of
“It does matter. Things that matter to you matter to me. But you’re wrong about Tom and me. It’s strictly friendship. Mark, I’ve never had someone close before who I could confide in, tell things to, and have a great time with.”
“That’s what I thought I was for.”
I cleared my throat. He had a valid point. But so did I. It was different. “You are more than that. You are the guy I can snuggle with while telling things to. It’s not the same with Tom. He is only a friend.”
Mark sighed. “Okay, I don’t want my last moments in this glorious, smelly boathouse to be talking about Tom. You just don’t get how the guy gets under my skin. You never will, I guess.”
Great! I hated how this had become an argument. Not like it was anything new. The only time we fought, it was over Tom. I couldn’t go out with him on the nights Mark worked without it being a conspiracy to bring Mark down. It was obvious we had more issues than Chicago.
“Mark, you have to take this job.” I looked down at my restless feet again. “Actually, I know you’ve already taken it, but you have to know why I can’t come with you.”
“It’s selfish of me to even ask you.”
“It’s not entirely. I’d like to think you’d ask because I mean something to you.” I smiled a little and held his cheek in my hand. He covered it with his warm hand.
“You mean everything to me.”
“I made myself a promise after my epic-fail-of-a-marriage with Wesley, that I wouldn’t do anything…I wouldn’t say anything that I didn’t truly mean. But, I lied to you.”
His brow furrowed. “What did you lie about?”
“I know we’ve been dating for a few months, but moving in together before my divorce was final was something I really didn’t want to do. It’s not that I didn’t love you; it’s just not the way I was brought up.”
“And moving to Chicago—”
“I’m not comfortable with at all.” I took his hand and held it tightly in mine. “I love you, Mark. But I don’t want to move away from all that I know…from everyone I know, to sit and wait for you to come home after a twelve-hour shift at the hospital and collapse from exhaustion.” I shook my head. “That sounds extremely shallow, because if I loved you it shouldn’t matter where we were, but I’m not there yet, I guess. I was hoping we could continue what we had and let nature take its course. I was hoping…”
I couldn’t say it. To say I was hoping he’d propose sounded childish and naive. But I was hoping it, nevertheless. Moving in with my boyfriend while I was still married to my husband was really stretching my moral cord. Moving to Chicago with him under the same circumstances just might break it altogether.
“You were hoping I’d stay at Mercer as a resident doctor, you’d continue clerking, and we’d live happily ever after?”
Well, not like that. That sounded cheap and uneventful. Boring and lame. Been there, done that.
“Not entirely. I thought you might want to marry me one day.” Yeah, throw a little fairy dust on that horrible description he’d just delivered of a ho-hum life. Continue clerking? Geeze… No, I saw Cinderella carriages, doves flying, and him dressed like Prince Charming. Please stay and be the prince, Mark.
He stepped backward, his hand raking through his unruly hair. “I love you, Amy. There is no doubt about it. You’ve changed me. You’ve given me the drive again to push me forward professionally and personally. I’m faithful…do you know I catch myself during the day smiling for no reason, other than knowing I’m going to be seeing you later? And I can’t imagine being with anyone other than you.”
So the problem is? I stretched my neck out, waiting for the answer to this subliminal question. This was knee-deep prince kind of talk.
“But I never imagined myself getting engaged again.”
“Oh.”
I could suddenly hear all the air go out of
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