Lay Down My Sword and Shield by James Lee Burke Page B

picked up my billfold from his desk and put four one-hundred-dollar bills before him.
    “That ought to cover it, and some of your water bill, too,” I said.
    He figured on a scratch pad with a broken pencil for a moment, smoking the saliva-stained cigarette between his lips.
    “No, we owe you fifty dollars, Mr. Holland, and we want to be sure you get everything coming to you.” He opened his desk drawer and counted out the money from a cashbox and handed it to me. “Just sign the receipt and you can collect the whole bunch of them and play sticky finger in that union hall till tonight, then I’ll be down there and we can talk it over again if you’re still around.”
    “I don’t believe you’ll be that anxious to talk when you and your deputy and I meet again.”
    “I’m going to let them people out myself. Don’t be here when I get back,” he said. He stood up and dropped his cigarette into the spittoon. His flat blue eyes, staring out of that red, knotted face, looked like whorls of swimming color without pupils. He stuck his shirt inside his trousers with the flat of his hand and walked past me with the khaki stiffness of a man who had once more restored structure to his universe.
    I sat down in a chair and put my boots on. They were filled with small rocks and mud, and when I stood up again I felt the dizziness and nausea start. I wiped the sweat off my face with my shirt and I wondered how in God’s name I could have ever become involved in a fool’s situation like this. I was glad there were no reflecting windows or glass doors or mirrors in the sheriff’s office, because I was sure that the present image of Hackberry Holland—ripped silk shirt, mud-streaked trousers, swollen temple and blood-matted hair, and face white with concussion and hangover—wouldn’t help me resolve my torn concept of self.
    I walked outside into the sunlight to wait for Rie. The sun and shadow sliced in patterns across the lawn, and a warm breeze from the river carried with it the smell of the fields. I sat on the concrete steps and let the heat bake into my skin. My clothes and body reeked of the jail, and the odor became stronger as I started to perspire. Two women passing on the sidewalk looked at me in disgust. “Good morning. How are you ladies today?” I said, and their eyes snapped straight ahead.
    A few minutes later Rie and the others came out the front door. The faces of the Mexicans were lined and bloated with hangover, and the guitar player and college boy looked like definitions of death. Their faces were perfectly white, as though all the blood had been drawn out through a tube. Rie carried her sandals in her hand, and she looked as lovely and alive as a flower turning into the sun.
    “Thanks for going the bail,” she said.
    “I’ll mark it off on my expense account as part of my expanded education. Right now I need to pick up my car, unless our deputy friend set fire to it last night.”
    “Rafael’s brother has a truck at the fruit stand. He’ll take us back.”
    “Yeah, I don’t think I could walk too far this morning,” I said.
    “Say, man, you really took on that bastard, didn’t you?” the college boy said. His face was so wan that his lips moved as though they were set in colorless wax.
    “Afraid not,” I said. “It was a one-sided encounter.”
    We started walking across the lawn toward the open-air market. My head ached with each step.
    “No, man, it takes balls to go up against a prick like that,” he said.
    “Stupidity is probably a better word,” I said.
    The shade was cool under the trees, and mockingbirds flew through the branches overhead. Across the street a Mexican was wetting down the rows of watermelons in the bins with a hose. Their fat green shapes were beaded with light in the sun. We crossed the street like the ragged remnant of a guerrilla band, and people in passing automobiles twisted their faces around and stuck their heads out of windows at this strange element