bed and pull the covers back, letting her climb in. I strip from my jeans and tee-shirt, plug my cellphone in and turn off the light, then I lay down beside her.
"Avery, I really am not-"
"Shh, I know, Cass."
I wrap my arm around her, spooning her back side. Without too much thought, I start humming out a tune that I know she doesn't know. A song I've been working on for far too long. A song that I know is far from perfect, since I'm nothing close to a song writer, but a song written just for Cassie. For Cassie and I. For my angel. For the girl, who I'm not sure I have or that I’ve lost forever.
" Mmm, because everything I need is... Oh, everything I need is... for you to know."
"Know what?" Cassie whispers.
I pull her closer to me and rest my hand on her stomach. "I'll explain tomorrow. Good night angel." I kiss behind her ear and close my eyes. "Goodnight sweet baby." I rub her belly softly before sleep decides to find me.
I wake up before Avery and climb out of bed, even though it was the last thing I actually wanted to be doing. I just couldn't hold in my pee any longer. I was seconds away from wetting the bed. With Avery's hand on my stomach all night, no matter which way I turned, it just put too much pressure on my bladder and I woke up sweating, with the need to pee. It's the first time I felt pregnant, minus the sickness.
Tomorrow Pierce is supposed to come home, but who even knows since he hasn't even called me. I haven't called him either, but I'm still angry that he hung up on me. Not only that, but spending time with Aubrey yesterday was the best thing I could have done. She and I together decided what needed to be done. I need to leave him. He isn't who I want to be with for the rest of my life.
Although, I do want to spend forever with Avery, I'm not sure that will work either. I don't know what is going on with his fighting, whether he really quit or if he got himself back into the qualifying. I'm not sure if he is planning on sticking around or leaving to go somewhere else. I know he seems connected to the baby, he showed that last night, but if its not his, I'm not sure if he will change his mind and it'll be too much.
I've started to not care who the father is, although deep down I've been hoping it's Avery. What I really care about is having a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby. I care that no matter who the father is, that they're involved in his or her life. That the baby is cherished, loved, and taken care of forever. That as parents, whoever the father is, that we can get along for the babies sake, whether we're together or not.
So my decision is not to make a decision. To break it off with Pierce, and keep my distance the best I can from both guys. At least until the paternity test. But I'm not going to jump into a relationship because of who the dad is or is not.
After my coffee and shower, I get dressed and call my mom to see what she has been up to today. I need to tell her and dad the news still, but I've been nervous. Aubrey cried, but I wasn't sure if they were tears of happiness or sadness. She said she can't wait for me to experience the first time I hold my child, and that she better be there for it. Of course she will be. We may have become distant since she became a mother, but not enough for us to not still be like sisters.
My mom answers the phone and says that she is going to be home all day, so I tell her I'll be over for lunch. Next I call my dad, even though I'm still angry with him- and yes, I know I need to get over it, but he is my father and hurt both my mother and I, so its been hard to just accept what he did. He
"Avery, I really am not-"
"Shh, I know, Cass."
I wrap my arm around her, spooning her back side. Without too much thought, I start humming out a tune that I know she doesn't know. A song I've been working on for far too long. A song that I know is far from perfect, since I'm nothing close to a song writer, but a song written just for Cassie. For Cassie and I. For my angel. For the girl, who I'm not sure I have or that I’ve lost forever.
" Mmm, because everything I need is... Oh, everything I need is... for you to know."
"Know what?" Cassie whispers.
I pull her closer to me and rest my hand on her stomach. "I'll explain tomorrow. Good night angel." I kiss behind her ear and close my eyes. "Goodnight sweet baby." I rub her belly softly before sleep decides to find me.
I wake up before Avery and climb out of bed, even though it was the last thing I actually wanted to be doing. I just couldn't hold in my pee any longer. I was seconds away from wetting the bed. With Avery's hand on my stomach all night, no matter which way I turned, it just put too much pressure on my bladder and I woke up sweating, with the need to pee. It's the first time I felt pregnant, minus the sickness.
Tomorrow Pierce is supposed to come home, but who even knows since he hasn't even called me. I haven't called him either, but I'm still angry that he hung up on me. Not only that, but spending time with Aubrey yesterday was the best thing I could have done. She and I together decided what needed to be done. I need to leave him. He isn't who I want to be with for the rest of my life.
Although, I do want to spend forever with Avery, I'm not sure that will work either. I don't know what is going on with his fighting, whether he really quit or if he got himself back into the qualifying. I'm not sure if he is planning on sticking around or leaving to go somewhere else. I know he seems connected to the baby, he showed that last night, but if its not his, I'm not sure if he will change his mind and it'll be too much.
I've started to not care who the father is, although deep down I've been hoping it's Avery. What I really care about is having a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby. I care that no matter who the father is, that they're involved in his or her life. That the baby is cherished, loved, and taken care of forever. That as parents, whoever the father is, that we can get along for the babies sake, whether we're together or not.
So my decision is not to make a decision. To break it off with Pierce, and keep my distance the best I can from both guys. At least until the paternity test. But I'm not going to jump into a relationship because of who the dad is or is not.
After my coffee and shower, I get dressed and call my mom to see what she has been up to today. I need to tell her and dad the news still, but I've been nervous. Aubrey cried, but I wasn't sure if they were tears of happiness or sadness. She said she can't wait for me to experience the first time I hold my child, and that she better be there for it. Of course she will be. We may have become distant since she became a mother, but not enough for us to not still be like sisters.
My mom answers the phone and says that she is going to be home all day, so I tell her I'll be over for lunch. Next I call my dad, even though I'm still angry with him- and yes, I know I need to get over it, but he is my father and hurt both my mother and I, so its been hard to just accept what he did. He
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