more palatable. Either cause put this woman at risk. He wouldn’t tolerate it, not after seeing himself through her eyes. That had been a gift, definitely the best and last he’d ever receive. He meant to honor it.
“Preventing UI from tracking me doesn’t change what I am.” However he’d come to the program, or the lies they’d told him, it didn’t change the things he’d done for Messenger. She deserved a better man. A small voice in his head protested as he reclaimed his hands, put as much distance as possible between them. “What I’ve done.” He wished to hell he remembered a useful detail from his past. If he’d ever had a trustworthy friend who might be persuaded to give her shelter, it wouldn’t be enough. UI knew more about his past than he did. Any friends would be investigated. He understood UI’s resources better than anyone else, not counting that damned chameleon, Ben.
“The past is done, Noah. I want to give you a future.”
The quiet conviction in her voice gave him more comfort than his actions and choices warranted. “Contact Ben,” he said through gritted teeth. “He’ll know someone who can help you hide.”
“Ben is busy.”
Busy? Her safety should trump any other concerns. If Ben didn’t realize that... Damn it. Who could he count on? “Not too busy to haul me here.”
“Well, no. I sent him away before you woke up.”
“You were alone while I was unconscious?” Dread for her, raw and terrible, clawed at his gut, searching for a way out. Foolish woman, she came closer again. They could have captured her anytime and he would’ve been helpless to defend her.
“Even if the worst happened, Amelia has everything I gathered to break UI wide open.”
He couldn’t find a sensible response. Another step and the warm sunlight of her hair would be within his reach.
“Ben is testing my theory about their tracking method.”
He slumped to the edge of the bed, his stomach churning at the idea of her testing on him again. “You took more blood.”
That stopped her advance. He was grateful to learn something could.
“To help you,” she said. “To protect us. Noah, what UI did to you -”
“I compounded their actions,” he interrupted. “Enhancements or conditioning, I had the free will to choose how I executed Messenger’s orders.”
“There’s a difference between following orders and malicious killing.”
He refused to hide behind the excuse of orders or manipulation. “I’m done with that.” What kind of an idiot was he that it tweaked his pride to be replaced by a newer, deadlier model? “From now on I’ll only defend myself. I won’t kill.” Unless he killed himself. Which might be the best solution, once she was safe. He needed one person in the world to see him, to remember him, as something other than a monster.
And he needed to be sure that one person, this woman in front of him survived. Daria was his only opportunity to pull something truly good from his existence with UI.
She stepped closer, her lean legs pushing his knees wider. Picking up his hands, she brought them to her hips. His fingers flexed into her soft, supple curves. Her gentle touch glided over his head and all of their contrasts struck him as laughable. He was bald, she had thick, glorious hair. He was hard and vicious, she was warm and supple.
Bending close, her hair fell across his cheek as she graced him with the softest kiss on his lips. A touch he couldn’t fight and didn’t want to. Her lips melted against his, tasting, giving, drawing a yearning out of his black soul. A need so intense he trembled.
“Shh,” she whispered against his mouth. “I’ve got you.”
Her small hands smoothed over his nape and he shook, recalling how he’d thought to snap her neck. “Daria…” He couldn’t get out the ‘no’. Couldn’t refuse her while her hair fell around them like a curtain, her lips feathering kisses over his face.
He dropped his forehead to her shoulder and
“Preventing UI from tracking me doesn’t change what I am.” However he’d come to the program, or the lies they’d told him, it didn’t change the things he’d done for Messenger. She deserved a better man. A small voice in his head protested as he reclaimed his hands, put as much distance as possible between them. “What I’ve done.” He wished to hell he remembered a useful detail from his past. If he’d ever had a trustworthy friend who might be persuaded to give her shelter, it wouldn’t be enough. UI knew more about his past than he did. Any friends would be investigated. He understood UI’s resources better than anyone else, not counting that damned chameleon, Ben.
“The past is done, Noah. I want to give you a future.”
The quiet conviction in her voice gave him more comfort than his actions and choices warranted. “Contact Ben,” he said through gritted teeth. “He’ll know someone who can help you hide.”
“Ben is busy.”
Busy? Her safety should trump any other concerns. If Ben didn’t realize that... Damn it. Who could he count on? “Not too busy to haul me here.”
“Well, no. I sent him away before you woke up.”
“You were alone while I was unconscious?” Dread for her, raw and terrible, clawed at his gut, searching for a way out. Foolish woman, she came closer again. They could have captured her anytime and he would’ve been helpless to defend her.
“Even if the worst happened, Amelia has everything I gathered to break UI wide open.”
He couldn’t find a sensible response. Another step and the warm sunlight of her hair would be within his reach.
“Ben is testing my theory about their tracking method.”
He slumped to the edge of the bed, his stomach churning at the idea of her testing on him again. “You took more blood.”
That stopped her advance. He was grateful to learn something could.
“To help you,” she said. “To protect us. Noah, what UI did to you -”
“I compounded their actions,” he interrupted. “Enhancements or conditioning, I had the free will to choose how I executed Messenger’s orders.”
“There’s a difference between following orders and malicious killing.”
He refused to hide behind the excuse of orders or manipulation. “I’m done with that.” What kind of an idiot was he that it tweaked his pride to be replaced by a newer, deadlier model? “From now on I’ll only defend myself. I won’t kill.” Unless he killed himself. Which might be the best solution, once she was safe. He needed one person in the world to see him, to remember him, as something other than a monster.
And he needed to be sure that one person, this woman in front of him survived. Daria was his only opportunity to pull something truly good from his existence with UI.
She stepped closer, her lean legs pushing his knees wider. Picking up his hands, she brought them to her hips. His fingers flexed into her soft, supple curves. Her gentle touch glided over his head and all of their contrasts struck him as laughable. He was bald, she had thick, glorious hair. He was hard and vicious, she was warm and supple.
Bending close, her hair fell across his cheek as she graced him with the softest kiss on his lips. A touch he couldn’t fight and didn’t want to. Her lips melted against his, tasting, giving, drawing a yearning out of his black soul. A need so intense he trembled.
“Shh,” she whispered against his mouth. “I’ve got you.”
Her small hands smoothed over his nape and he shook, recalling how he’d thought to snap her neck. “Daria…” He couldn’t get out the ‘no’. Couldn’t refuse her while her hair fell around them like a curtain, her lips feathering kisses over his face.
He dropped his forehead to her shoulder and
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