brooded on it for most of last night and the better part of today as well. I want to know the meaning of your words.’
‘What did I say that you did not understand?’ She took a fortifying sip of wine.
‘You seemed more offended that I feared to get you with child than you were with the implication that I might think you poxed. You may tell me that I have no right to enquire, but it makes me wonder at your motives in lying with me, and fear that you are seeking something other than pleasure. If you cannot give me a suitable explanation, than I must leave you.’ He took her hand, and squeezed it. ‘But I very much want to stay.’
Emily leaned back in her seat and took another sip of wine. It was as good a time as any to explain to him, she supposed. ‘To make you understand, I must tell you about my marriage. My husband and I were together for but a brief time. And while we resided under the same roof, he barely spoke to me. As a matter of fact, he seemed to avoid my company.’
He gave a grunt of dismissal. ‘I cannot believe it.’
‘In his defence, I barely had the nerve to speak in his presence. I was quite in awe of him.’
‘This surprises me,’ he said. ‘You seemed fearlesswhen I first met you. You have a direct and intelligent manner of speaking that is most refreshing.’
‘Thank you.’ She coloured. For while the compliment was delivered unawares, it was welcome.
He traced a finger along her cheek. ‘Of course, were I married to you, conversation would have been the last thing on my mind.’
‘Oh, really. And what would be the first?’
‘Getting you to bed, of course. Just as it was when I met you.’
‘Then you are obviously not the man I married,’ she said, ‘for on the three times he visited my room—’
Adrian’s brow furrowed. ‘Three times?’
‘Yes.’
He laughed. ‘You mean in the first night, of course.’
She grimaced. He did not even recognise himself in the quite obvious clue she had given him. ‘I mean in total. I remember it distinctly. How many women can, after several years of marriage, remember the exact number of conjugal visits and count them on less than a hand?’
‘That is an abomination.’
‘I quite agree.’ And she hoped that the frosty tone in her voice might bring some mote of recollection from the man at her side.
‘And these visits …’ he cleared his throat as though to stifle a laugh ‘… were they in any way memorable?’
‘I remember each instant, for they were my first and only experiences of that sort.’ ‘
And how would you describe them?’
Her timidity forgotten, she finished her wine in a gulp and said, ‘In a word? Disappointing.’
He seemed taken aback by this. ‘Was he not gentle with you? Did he give no thought to your inexperience?’
‘On the contrary. He proceeded with gentleness and all due care.’
‘Then what was the problem?’
Emily almost growled in frustration, for it was clear that he had no memory at all of what had been the most important week of her life. ‘He made it plain that he did not enjoy my company. My deflowering was done with martial efficiency, at a tempo that might have been more appropriate for a march than a frolic. And then he had returned to his rooms, without another word.’
Adrian gave a snort, before managing to master himself again. ‘You know little of the army, if you think that men in the, uh, heat of battle …’ And then, as though he remembered that he was speaking to a lady, he stopped. ‘Well, then. Never mind. But you are right in thinking that such restraint could not have been pleasant for him. And did you tell him, the next day, of your dissatisfaction with his performance?’ ‘How could I? I was innocent of the subject. For all I knew, it was the same for all. I had been watching him for years, and dreaming of how it might be.
And the waking truth was not at all as I expected. But when one can barely bring oneself to discuss the weather with the man
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