care of myself, that I gave up in order to work. To be the cooperator, the person with the mop. I know for a fact those lost hours made no difference to my employers, but it is the lost time with my family that I’ll never get back. I often pushed my self to extremes to get nothing in return except bad health, and at one point, a baby with a broken leg. Warren’s description of herself when she was starting out made me cringe, because that was me. Always trying to run faster, to please everyone, and very seldom getting anything in return.
IF YOU’RE NOT PAID FOR IT, DON’T DO IT
Personal-finance expert and force of nature Suze Orman argues that for their own sake, women have to resist the urge to always pick up the mop. When you know what you’re worth, you’ll have an easier time asking to be compensated for what you’re bringing to the job. And if you’re not getting paid for it, take a lesson from men and don’t do it.
“I know my own worth and I’m not going to settle for less,” Orman says. “It’s really just that simple. When I’m giving my speaking lectures, I get exactly what I want for my speaking lectures, and if you can’t pay me, then I’m not going to speak for you. I get exactly what I want from CNBC, and I’m very happy. I don’t have to demand; you either give it to me or you don’t. If you don’t, then it’s not my problem.”
Of course, at this point in her career, it’s easy for Suze Orman to say no. She acknowledges that in the current recession, most people don’t have that luxury. Most people do what they have to do, and sometimes, that does include picking up the mop and even working for free. “When you’re first working for someone, your goal is to make those people whom you are dependent on dependent on you,” Orman advises. “So when you first start working, you do not demand anything, you do not ask for anything. That’s when you do everything you can, even if you’re not asked to do it. You make them totally dependent on you—and then you’ve reversed the power.” When you really need the money, or the opportunity, sometimes you do have to get your foot in the door and take the lousy shift. But once you’ve made yourself
essential, that’s when you have leverage. It’s up to you to make sure your boss sees your contribution and knows you expect to be paid for it.
Orman says she sometimes worked for free as she worked her way up. She worked unpaid the entire first year of her show, because she and her managers weren’t able to settle on contract terms. But at the end of the first year she had proven herself and was in an excellent negotiating position. At this writing, her show is in its tenth year.
BE VISIBLE—AND WILLING TO PROMOTE YOURSELF
FDIC chair Sheila Bair told me that while she hasn’t haggled over the issue of compensation, she has certainly felt at times that her opinions have not been valued: “Traditionally women’s work or opinions or both have not been valued as much as they should. The societal notion that women’s work or opinions are less valuable can seep into our own thinking. Perhaps on a subconscious level, but I think it does seep in. We can be accepting of what we get and not ask for more and not think that we deserve more. I think that goes from compensation, office space, titles, to getting credit for saying something and making it your idea. Somehow it’s a bad thing to stand up for yourself or promote yourself . . . to speak up and say, ‘I deserve to be paid X,’ and we feel embarrassed or ashamed or bashful about that, and we shouldn’t.”
“The societal notion that women’s work or opinions are less valuable can seep into our own thinking.”
—SHEILA BAIR
Bair told me she thinks women need to be more assertive. She says we need to educate our managers about our worth: “When there is unequal treatment, learn how to promote yourself in a way that is constructive. You don’t have to be obnoxious about it;
IF YOU’RE NOT PAID FOR IT, DON’T DO IT
Personal-finance expert and force of nature Suze Orman argues that for their own sake, women have to resist the urge to always pick up the mop. When you know what you’re worth, you’ll have an easier time asking to be compensated for what you’re bringing to the job. And if you’re not getting paid for it, take a lesson from men and don’t do it.
“I know my own worth and I’m not going to settle for less,” Orman says. “It’s really just that simple. When I’m giving my speaking lectures, I get exactly what I want for my speaking lectures, and if you can’t pay me, then I’m not going to speak for you. I get exactly what I want from CNBC, and I’m very happy. I don’t have to demand; you either give it to me or you don’t. If you don’t, then it’s not my problem.”
Of course, at this point in her career, it’s easy for Suze Orman to say no. She acknowledges that in the current recession, most people don’t have that luxury. Most people do what they have to do, and sometimes, that does include picking up the mop and even working for free. “When you’re first working for someone, your goal is to make those people whom you are dependent on dependent on you,” Orman advises. “So when you first start working, you do not demand anything, you do not ask for anything. That’s when you do everything you can, even if you’re not asked to do it. You make them totally dependent on you—and then you’ve reversed the power.” When you really need the money, or the opportunity, sometimes you do have to get your foot in the door and take the lousy shift. But once you’ve made yourself
essential, that’s when you have leverage. It’s up to you to make sure your boss sees your contribution and knows you expect to be paid for it.
Orman says she sometimes worked for free as she worked her way up. She worked unpaid the entire first year of her show, because she and her managers weren’t able to settle on contract terms. But at the end of the first year she had proven herself and was in an excellent negotiating position. At this writing, her show is in its tenth year.
BE VISIBLE—AND WILLING TO PROMOTE YOURSELF
FDIC chair Sheila Bair told me that while she hasn’t haggled over the issue of compensation, she has certainly felt at times that her opinions have not been valued: “Traditionally women’s work or opinions or both have not been valued as much as they should. The societal notion that women’s work or opinions are less valuable can seep into our own thinking. Perhaps on a subconscious level, but I think it does seep in. We can be accepting of what we get and not ask for more and not think that we deserve more. I think that goes from compensation, office space, titles, to getting credit for saying something and making it your idea. Somehow it’s a bad thing to stand up for yourself or promote yourself . . . to speak up and say, ‘I deserve to be paid X,’ and we feel embarrassed or ashamed or bashful about that, and we shouldn’t.”
“The societal notion that women’s work or opinions are less valuable can seep into our own thinking.”
—SHEILA BAIR
Bair told me she thinks women need to be more assertive. She says we need to educate our managers about our worth: “When there is unequal treatment, learn how to promote yourself in a way that is constructive. You don’t have to be obnoxious about it;
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