agreed.
Then Hilarion’s eyes widened as the scales of illusion fell away. “It is true! You are no longer a crone, and your name is not Haggai but Ida. You are Princess Ida, the sister of the King, with the little moon orbiting your head!”
“I am,” Ida agreed.
“I have heard of you,” he said, awed. “This must be a really important mission.”
“It is,” Ida agreed. “It is actually Wenda’s Quest.”
Hilarion looked at Wenda. “I am interested.”
“It is for the Good Magician,” she said. “There is a large petrified not of would that—”
“I beg your pardon?”
“A knot of wood,” Jumper explained. “She normally uses the forest dialect, but the Good Magician put a spell on her to nullify that, so that others will not recognize her. Unfortunately the spell is too effective.”
“Ah, I understand,” Hilarion agreed. “We call it the law of unintended consequences.”
“Exactly,” Jumper agreed.
“The Not terrifies all who approach it,” Wenda continued. “But since I derive from would, I should be able to handle it. So my job is to transport it from the nook in the Gap Chasm where it is, to the Good Magician’s Castle, without letting any bad creatures steal it. Because they might use it for ill.”
“Like terrifying rivals,” Hilarion agreed. “I appreciate the danger.” He looked around. “I am glad to make your acquaintances, and will do my best for your Quest. This should be interesting.”
“We would prefer it to be dull,” Wenda said.
He laughed. “Life is not always as dull as we wish.”
Wenda looked around. Much of the day had passed. “We can sleep here tonight, and proceed in the morning. With luck a couple of days will suffice to complete the mission.”
Hilarion shook his head. “Quests are never completed on schedule. It is in the Big Book of Rules . I remember studying that in my days of training.”
Wenda feared that was true.
They returned to the otterbees’ shelter. The otterbees welcomed them, and brought all manner of food for their dinner. They, too, were pleased that the fauns and nymphs had been saved.
They set up beds of raised moss and settled down separately. Then suddenly there was an enclosure around Wenda’s bed, and Prince Charming was there. He kissed her avidly—and drew back. “You kissed another man!” he exclaimed.
Wenda burst into tears of remorse.
He laughed. “Eris told me about it. You just wanted to be sure you weren’t his betrothee, and you’re not.”
Wenda was relieved. “You’re not angry?”
“How can I be angry? I love you!”
That wasn’t quite the same, but before she could think about it he was kissing her again, and more, and in another six minutes he was asleep. Then he and the enclosure vanished, leaving her half bemused. She presumed Eris was similarly finished with Jumper. These spousal visits were fast and intimate, and they got the job done.
She was glad things were all right with Charming. The Quest was likely to be complicated enough without a problem there.
5
A NGELA A NGEL
In the morning they took turns washing in a pool of the swamp. First Wenda, Ida, and Meryl, then Jumper, Dipper, and Hilarion. The women agreed that Prince Hilarion was excruciatingly handsome, not that any of them would notice such a detail. “But the prince notices you,” Meryl told Wenda. “Especially when you run bare.”
“I wanted the trolls to notice me,” Wenda protested. “So I could lead them to the humidor.”
“And an excellent job you did,” Ida said. “But it is true: you have a nymphlike figure, and males of any variety tend to notice.”
“Well, a wouldwife is a sort of variety of nymph. The front half, anyway.”
“I once heard a woodwife described as a half-assed nymph,” Meryl said with three-sevenths of a smile.
“But wouldwives don’t have donkeys,” Wenda protested. “Not even half ones.”
“I repeat,” Ida said with the remaining four-sevenths of the smile. “You
Then Hilarion’s eyes widened as the scales of illusion fell away. “It is true! You are no longer a crone, and your name is not Haggai but Ida. You are Princess Ida, the sister of the King, with the little moon orbiting your head!”
“I am,” Ida agreed.
“I have heard of you,” he said, awed. “This must be a really important mission.”
“It is,” Ida agreed. “It is actually Wenda’s Quest.”
Hilarion looked at Wenda. “I am interested.”
“It is for the Good Magician,” she said. “There is a large petrified not of would that—”
“I beg your pardon?”
“A knot of wood,” Jumper explained. “She normally uses the forest dialect, but the Good Magician put a spell on her to nullify that, so that others will not recognize her. Unfortunately the spell is too effective.”
“Ah, I understand,” Hilarion agreed. “We call it the law of unintended consequences.”
“Exactly,” Jumper agreed.
“The Not terrifies all who approach it,” Wenda continued. “But since I derive from would, I should be able to handle it. So my job is to transport it from the nook in the Gap Chasm where it is, to the Good Magician’s Castle, without letting any bad creatures steal it. Because they might use it for ill.”
“Like terrifying rivals,” Hilarion agreed. “I appreciate the danger.” He looked around. “I am glad to make your acquaintances, and will do my best for your Quest. This should be interesting.”
“We would prefer it to be dull,” Wenda said.
He laughed. “Life is not always as dull as we wish.”
Wenda looked around. Much of the day had passed. “We can sleep here tonight, and proceed in the morning. With luck a couple of days will suffice to complete the mission.”
Hilarion shook his head. “Quests are never completed on schedule. It is in the Big Book of Rules . I remember studying that in my days of training.”
Wenda feared that was true.
They returned to the otterbees’ shelter. The otterbees welcomed them, and brought all manner of food for their dinner. They, too, were pleased that the fauns and nymphs had been saved.
They set up beds of raised moss and settled down separately. Then suddenly there was an enclosure around Wenda’s bed, and Prince Charming was there. He kissed her avidly—and drew back. “You kissed another man!” he exclaimed.
Wenda burst into tears of remorse.
He laughed. “Eris told me about it. You just wanted to be sure you weren’t his betrothee, and you’re not.”
Wenda was relieved. “You’re not angry?”
“How can I be angry? I love you!”
That wasn’t quite the same, but before she could think about it he was kissing her again, and more, and in another six minutes he was asleep. Then he and the enclosure vanished, leaving her half bemused. She presumed Eris was similarly finished with Jumper. These spousal visits were fast and intimate, and they got the job done.
She was glad things were all right with Charming. The Quest was likely to be complicated enough without a problem there.
5
A NGELA A NGEL
In the morning they took turns washing in a pool of the swamp. First Wenda, Ida, and Meryl, then Jumper, Dipper, and Hilarion. The women agreed that Prince Hilarion was excruciatingly handsome, not that any of them would notice such a detail. “But the prince notices you,” Meryl told Wenda. “Especially when you run bare.”
“I wanted the trolls to notice me,” Wenda protested. “So I could lead them to the humidor.”
“And an excellent job you did,” Ida said. “But it is true: you have a nymphlike figure, and males of any variety tend to notice.”
“Well, a wouldwife is a sort of variety of nymph. The front half, anyway.”
“I once heard a woodwife described as a half-assed nymph,” Meryl said with three-sevenths of a smile.
“But wouldwives don’t have donkeys,” Wenda protested. “Not even half ones.”
“I repeat,” Ida said with the remaining four-sevenths of the smile. “You
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