second chance, all while they’re gone.
It doesn’t take a genius to see that Tommy only wants what’s best for me. The problem is, he thinks he knows what that is, but he doesn’t. No one but me knows that Parker was more than a childhood crush for me. He was my first love. My first kiss. My first everything. He’d been through all my anxiety troubles with me, never giving up on me, looking out for me like I was his. But, while my memories of Parker are fond, he’s also the reason my life turned so sour. He pushed me away. Drawing the line in the sand seven years ago, I knew where we stood… or at least I thought I did.
It’s midday by the time I put Onyx back into her stall and I know I won’t have to worry about Parker ambushing me again because he’ll have gone to the shop. He won’t be back on the farm until the evening. I get Onyx settled in with some fresh water, and she begins to rest. I envy her for a moment. Not a worry in the world besides where her next meal is coming from.
It’s quiet around the farm today since Mom and Pop have run into town for supplies. Tommy disappeared after catching Parker and I in the horse stalls but I’m sure wherever he is, he’s fuming.
Exhausted, I plop onto the steps of the porch, listening to the animals carry about their business. I kick off my Hunter boots and let my feet settle into the cool damp grass. The sun hits my face and instantly warms my whole body. In spite of the drama and confusion, today was a good day. A knowing smile spreads across my face and for the first time in months, I feel hope. Perhaps I can carry on after all.
It’s an uncharacteristically hot day for a New Hampshire summer. The heat is stifling and I desperately want to cool off. With newfound hope in my heart, and before I can second-guess myself, I get up and take off toward the creek behind my house. For the first time in a long time I find myself running. The simple act of my feet pounding onto the ground makes me giggle out loud. My breath hitches with the sound escaping my mouth and here, in this moment, I come to the realization that I do deserve happiness. I can’t continue to punish myself for what happened in the past. I was a kid and I made mistakes, but this wasn’t my fault.
The creek comes into sight and I find myself giddy with excitement. It was always a place of relaxation and enjoyment for me as a child. By the time my feet hit the cool water I’ve stripped off my tank top, leaving my body clad in only a bra and cutoff jean shorts. I stand for a minute, reveling in the silence, but then a small smile pulls at my lips and I start kicking water up around me. The cool droplets touching the skin on my legs and relax me.
After a few moments of careless kicking, I find “Recliner Rock” and gently lower my body down onto it, letting the water rush past me as the sun warms my cool skin.
I close my eyes, enjoying the moment of bliss. It was here in this exact spot that Parker kissed me for the first time. I was fifteen, finally set free from the anxiety and the silence. I had just started finding myself, discovering the real Katie back then.
“Ouch! I stubbed my toe!” I plop down on the rock and lift my foot to inspect it.
Parker sits next to me and leans down to look as well. “Jeez, kiddo, you need to take it down a notch.”
“You’re just saying that because I was kicking your butt.”
He frowns. “You’re right. I hate losing to a girl.” He certainly lost our water fight—he was soaked to the bone. I slap him playfully on the shoulder.
“Tommy said you’ve got your driving permit now. I’ll take you out riding sometime.”
“Why? So you and Tommy can get hammered?” I tease.
His eyes meet mine and I know that he didn’t appreciate my weak attempt at a joke. “I didn’t say anything about Tommy going.”
He must be able to hear my heart pounding in my chest. I swallow the hard lump that has formed in my throat. I need to pull it
It doesn’t take a genius to see that Tommy only wants what’s best for me. The problem is, he thinks he knows what that is, but he doesn’t. No one but me knows that Parker was more than a childhood crush for me. He was my first love. My first kiss. My first everything. He’d been through all my anxiety troubles with me, never giving up on me, looking out for me like I was his. But, while my memories of Parker are fond, he’s also the reason my life turned so sour. He pushed me away. Drawing the line in the sand seven years ago, I knew where we stood… or at least I thought I did.
It’s midday by the time I put Onyx back into her stall and I know I won’t have to worry about Parker ambushing me again because he’ll have gone to the shop. He won’t be back on the farm until the evening. I get Onyx settled in with some fresh water, and she begins to rest. I envy her for a moment. Not a worry in the world besides where her next meal is coming from.
It’s quiet around the farm today since Mom and Pop have run into town for supplies. Tommy disappeared after catching Parker and I in the horse stalls but I’m sure wherever he is, he’s fuming.
Exhausted, I plop onto the steps of the porch, listening to the animals carry about their business. I kick off my Hunter boots and let my feet settle into the cool damp grass. The sun hits my face and instantly warms my whole body. In spite of the drama and confusion, today was a good day. A knowing smile spreads across my face and for the first time in months, I feel hope. Perhaps I can carry on after all.
It’s an uncharacteristically hot day for a New Hampshire summer. The heat is stifling and I desperately want to cool off. With newfound hope in my heart, and before I can second-guess myself, I get up and take off toward the creek behind my house. For the first time in a long time I find myself running. The simple act of my feet pounding onto the ground makes me giggle out loud. My breath hitches with the sound escaping my mouth and here, in this moment, I come to the realization that I do deserve happiness. I can’t continue to punish myself for what happened in the past. I was a kid and I made mistakes, but this wasn’t my fault.
The creek comes into sight and I find myself giddy with excitement. It was always a place of relaxation and enjoyment for me as a child. By the time my feet hit the cool water I’ve stripped off my tank top, leaving my body clad in only a bra and cutoff jean shorts. I stand for a minute, reveling in the silence, but then a small smile pulls at my lips and I start kicking water up around me. The cool droplets touching the skin on my legs and relax me.
After a few moments of careless kicking, I find “Recliner Rock” and gently lower my body down onto it, letting the water rush past me as the sun warms my cool skin.
I close my eyes, enjoying the moment of bliss. It was here in this exact spot that Parker kissed me for the first time. I was fifteen, finally set free from the anxiety and the silence. I had just started finding myself, discovering the real Katie back then.
“Ouch! I stubbed my toe!” I plop down on the rock and lift my foot to inspect it.
Parker sits next to me and leans down to look as well. “Jeez, kiddo, you need to take it down a notch.”
“You’re just saying that because I was kicking your butt.”
He frowns. “You’re right. I hate losing to a girl.” He certainly lost our water fight—he was soaked to the bone. I slap him playfully on the shoulder.
“Tommy said you’ve got your driving permit now. I’ll take you out riding sometime.”
“Why? So you and Tommy can get hammered?” I tease.
His eyes meet mine and I know that he didn’t appreciate my weak attempt at a joke. “I didn’t say anything about Tommy going.”
He must be able to hear my heart pounding in my chest. I swallow the hard lump that has formed in my throat. I need to pull it
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