Just Stupid! by Andy Griffiths and Terry Denton Page B

between my palm and the picture in the book. Funny about that.
       Lisa and Roseanne rush back to the other girls.
       Danny shakes me. He points at his mouth. He points at my pocket. He points at my mouth. He wants to get on with the game.
       ‘Okay, okay,’ I say.
       I take the molten mass out of my pocket. It’s not quite as white as it was before— there’s blue fluff and bits of sand embedded in it. But unappealing as it is, I have to put it back in my mouth—the thought of owing Danny a million dollars is much worse.

       I cup my hand over my mouth and suck the marshmallows back in. It makes me want to be sick, but I stifle the urge.
       Danny is holding up six marshmallows. If he can put all of them in his mouth he will be one ahead of me. He pushes them in with ease. The interruption has given him an advantage. His marshmallows have melted more than mine. But that’s fair. It was me who stopped.
       ‘Thithsteen thubba ummees,’ he says, white juice spilling out of the corners of his mouth.
       I take another two marshmallows and squash them in my palm to make them as small as possible. I poke them into my bulging mouth.
       ‘Thebentee ubby ubbas,’ I say.
       Seventeen! This must be a world record. Danny will never beat this.
       But he pushes another one into his mouth. And another. And another. And another. That’s twenty! That’s incredible. But I’m not through yet.
       I push one in. My bottom jaw feels like it’s going to come apart from my top jaw.
       I push another one in. My head is going to explode. My eyeballs are going to pop out.
       I push the twentieth marshmallow in. It pops straight back out. I pick it up and use the straw from my drink to push it as far into my mouth as I can.

       I’ve done it! We’re even! I’m about to try for twenty-one when I feel another tap on my shoulder.
       ‘Andy?’
       I turn around.
       It’s Lisa again. With her book.
       ‘Sorry,’ she says. ‘I just need to check your mount of Venus.’
       She grabs my hand and pokes the fleshy part at the base of my thumb.
       She looks back across to the girls.
       ‘It’s true!’ she calls. ‘It’s true!’
       The girls all come running over.
       Lisa displays my hand to them.
       ‘See?’ she says, holding up the picture in the book as well. ‘The same!’
       ‘Let’s have a look at his other hand!’ says Roseanne.
       She grabs my left hand.
       ‘A perfect match!’ she announces.
       Lisa beams.
       I can’t believe how well she’s fallen for my trick. I only wish I didn’t have twenty marshmallows in my mouth. I think I’d be as happy as she is.

       ‘You have to kiss now,’ says Roseanne. ‘Come on, Andy, kiss Lisa!’
       Somebody throws a handful of glitter over us.
       ‘Lovers!’ they cry.
       Lisa closes her eyes and puts her cheek forward. It is the most beautiful cheek I have ever seen. It is like the cheek of a princess in a fairytale. It is a lovely pink colour and the glitter is making it sparkle.
       I want to kiss her.
       I really do.
       But I can’t.
       What I really want to do is sneeze. For real this time. I think a bit of glitter has gone up my nose. And when you’re holding twenty marshmallows in your mouth and you’re standing in front of the most beautiful girl in the universe, that’s a bit of a worry.
       I’ve got to swallow.
       I’ve got to swallow before I sneeze.
       But I can’t. It’s like trying to swallow a wet face-washer. I’ve simply got too much in my mouth.
       I try to turn away and put my hands over my mouth like when I did the fake sneeze, but I can’t. Lisa’s holding my right hand. Roseanne is holding my left.

       ‘Ah . . . ah . . .’
       There’s no stopping it. I wrench my left hand away from Roseanne and try to put it across my mouth in time.
       ‘Choo!’
       Too late.
       The marshmallow mush comes leaping