Judith Miller - [Daughters of Amana 01] by Somewhere to Belong Page B

the door.
    I’d been left no choice. I couldn’t disobey. There was little doubt my father held high regard for Carl. The two of them had forged an excellent friendship, and they worked well together—as if they’d known each other for a lifetime. Without warning, realization struck and I understood what was happening. Little by little Carl was becoming Wilhelm’s replacement. Eventually Carl would become the son my father had hoped for. That’s why Father was sending us fishing with Carl. Soon Carl would be inserted into every part of our lives—everywhere that Wilhelm should have been.
    Well, Carl would not replace Wilhelm. Not for me. We were sister and brother, connected by blood, born of the same parents. No one could replace Wilhelm. The very thought caused a tear to form in the corner of my eye. Before the others could notice, I swiped it away with the back of my hand.
    “I’ll get my fishing pole from my room and meet you on the front porch. Is five minutes enough time?” Carl’s broad smile caused a twinge of guilt. I shouldn’t blame him for what my father was doing. He couldn’t know he was being groomed to become a substitute son. Then again, maybe he would cherish the idea.
    “I will need at least ten minutes.”
    He flinched at my terse reply. “Whatever you need will be fine. I’ll wait outside.”
    I should have tempered my curt response, but I still hadn’t completely digested all that was happening. Besides, I needed to visit the outhouse and then collect my mending.
    It was closer to fifteen minutes by the time Mother and I finally gathered all our items. In addition to her handwork, she decided we would need a blanket to keep our skirts free of grass stains or dirt. Obviously, she didn’t plan to fish, either.
    After a quick inspection of the items, Mother said, “I think this is everything we should need.”
    A tap on the front door let me know we’d taken longer than Carl had anticipated. “Coming.” I yanked open the door and took a backward step. “Berta! I wasn’t expecting to see you .”
    She grinned. “I know. Carl’s at the buggy talking to Rudolf. He said you’re going fishing.”
    “We are.” My mother came alongside me, the blanket and her sewing basket tucked in one arm.
    Berta clapped her hands. “Oh good. You’re going, too, Sister Ilg. My mother said Rudolf and I could go along if either you or Brother Ilg would be acting as a chaperone.”
    “Well, I—”
    Clearly Berta had taken my mother by surprise. She shot me a please-help-me look, but I squelched any feelings of sympathy. When I’d sent out my silent plea only a short time ago, she had ignored me. Besides, having Berta and Rudolf along would ease my discomfort. Rudolf could fish with Carl, and Berta would keep us entertained with her antics.
    Before my mother could regain her composure, I said, “Of course. You’re welcome to come along, Berta. And Rudolf, too.”
    My mother squeezed my arm. “I’m not certain that’s what . . . Well, I don’t think—”
    “Carl will enjoy having Rudolf as a fishing companion, don’t you think, Mutter?”
    “I don’t think either of us should speak for Carl. We can’t be sure what he would enjoy.”
    “Oh, Carl said he didn’t mind,” Berta interjected. “We’ve already asked him.”
    Mother frowned and heaved a sigh. By day’s end Mother would understand that dealing with Berta was not so easy—the girl could transform any event to her own liking.
    When I saw the buggy waiting in front of our house, I knew Carl and Father had made the fishing arrangements in advance. Normally the buggy wouldn’t have been used for such a frivolous outing. And though Father seldom took advantage, using a wagon or buggy was a privilege of his position as a farm Baas. Either Carl or my father had hitched the horses earlier in the day. Yes, this had been arranged earlier. But I couldn’t understand why my parents would push me toward Carl. Our religion clearly stated