Joy Comes in the Morning by Ashea S. Goldson Page B

the trip?”
    â€œThe trip will be the second week of July, with or without you. We’d love to have you on board, Alex.”
    â€œThat sounds really generous of you, Dr. Harding, and I will give this offer serious consideration. I’ll have to—”
    â€œNo need to explain, but your being a mere secretary is such a waste of talent.” Dr. Harding walked away, shaking his head. “Think about it.”
    I smiled as I swallowed my real dreams. Although most of my days were uneventful, they were productive. I fulfilled my duties with a certain level of dignity, and while I wasn’t completely fulfilled, I did feel some measure of satisfaction. My real dreams, however, were lost in the abyss of misfortune.
    When it was time for my break, I went across the street to McDonald’s to eat a Big Mac combo as I contemplated the job offer again. Public relations wasn’t my cup of tea. It wasn’t fair that Taylor came home after a day of work, physically rejuvenated, energetic, full of passion, and full of exhilarating stories of her clients’ progress. I wanted to feel connected to my clients like that, but my exhaustion and lack of enthusiasm always held me back. There was always a line I wouldn’t dare cross. Unfortunately, the only thing about the offer that excited me was the chance to go to Kenya. Public relations. It wasn’t a bad field. It just wasn’t enough for me. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do for a living, and I didn’t know what I was supposed to do for God. I hated being indecisive. Please, Lord, fill me. Maybe this trip was what I needed to decide. Maybe I could spend the week in Kenya, away from Joshua, not only working, but also reflecting on my life and clearing my head before the wedding. The real question was could I live with myself if I married Joshua and didn’t clear out the cobwebs of my past? Also if I did marry him, could we survive if he didn’t face his own issues?
    I picked up my cell phone and called Joshua. “Hi, Josh.”
    â€œHi, baby,” Joshua said.
    I hesitated for a moment, not knowing how to tell him. “I’ve got news.”
    â€œReally? What’s going on?”
    I took a deep breath. “I’ll be going to Kenya on the second week of July.”
    â€œKenya? What are you talking about?”
    â€œRemember that position Dr. Harding offered me?”
    â€œYes.”
    â€œWell, he’s allowing me to test it out by doing one public relations assignment in Nairobe, Kenya.” I waited anxiously for his response. “I’m hoping to be able to do some missions work also.”
    â€œI see.”
    â€œIt’s only for a week and um—”
    â€œBut that’s too close to our wedding date,” Joshua interrupted.
    â€œIt’s only for a week, and believe me, your mother has this wedding under control. I’m sure everything will have been done by the time I leave.”
    â€œThis is big news,” Joshua said, with a hint of surrender on his voice.
    â€œIt’s something I’ve been thinking about ever since Dr. Harding mentioned it.”
    â€œI know that, but—”
    â€œPlease don’t make this harder than it already is. I need this trip.” In my heart I was pleading with him because I knew I needed this.
    Joshua’s tone was mellow. “It is a great opportunity for you, so I’ll have to be supportive even though my heart doesn’t want you to go.”
    â€œI’ll be back, Joshua.” I paused. “I love you.”
    â€œI love you too.”
    When I hung up the phone, I walked over to Dr. Harding’s office and knocked on his door.
    â€œCome in,” Dr. Harding said in his gruff voice.
    I entered, but stood against the door.“I’ve been thinking about what you said.”
    â€œAnd?” Dr. Harding never looked up from his papers.
    â€œAnd I’ll go on the trip to