last her mother-in-law began to snore softly again, Marah sank to her pallet in exhausted sleep filled with strange dreams. She was running across the desert, stumbling in the deep sand, pursued by dark clouds like faceless hunters in great, swirling black robes who mocked her as she ran. Her feet were like lead as she struggled on, weeping. Then the swirling black clouds disappeared and the sky cleared. She stood alone, waiting for something. Suddenly the stranger from her previous dreams appeared before her. There were no words, yet she felt no more fear, only peace. At that moment she awoke.
As her eyes traveled slowly around the familiar room, she saw the small scroll on the ledge. What would she do if Athaliah awoke and also saw the scroll? Her small, bright eyes missed nothing, even in her madness. As Marah started to rise to get the scroll, she heard Athaliah’s voice.
“Good. You are awake early. We have much to do today, Daughter. My son returns soon and there are preparations to be made.”
Marah sighed inwardly. Athaliah was herself this morning, or so it appeared. It was going to be a difficult day. How long could she pretend she did not know about Shimei? When a reasonable time had passed, she knew the shammash would return. She could not lie to the shammash, for she knew he would know. He would see the fear on her face. How could she hide it? She did not look up at the scroll for fear Athaliah would follow her eyes and see it too.
As the day progressed Marah could not help glancing from time to time toward the entrance to the courtyard. She did not realize how many times until Athaliah patted her on the shoulder.
“You are anxious for my son’s return also, Daughter. That is a good sign. All will be well, you will see.” Athaliah nodded her head, smiling to herself.
Athaliah began to tick off on her fingers the various things they would need. “Shimei can bring more wine. He always knows what to get. We will need to prepare the raisin and date cakes. Now where is Shimei? He is never here when I need him. There is so much to do. Ah . . . it will be a feast to remember.”
Marah felt the hair on the nape of her neck rise. She looked at Athaliah closely. Where were Athaliah’s thoughts now? She nodded dumbly as she went on sweeping the courtyard. How could she let Athaliah do all those things in preparation? It would only make things worse when word of Shimei’s desertion was known. If the shammash came again, he might reveal that Shimei had gone. It was said that the high priest had spies everywhere.
Over and over she turned the thoughts in her mind as one would turn over shells along the shore of the sea, examining each one carefully and discarding it. She felt the scroll was safe. It was still on the ledge and Athaliah had not seen it. When her mother-in-law was busy letting the animals out, Marah had pushed the small scroll back farther on the shelf so it was concealed by the shadows.
While she worked, Marah sought for some way to gently tell Athaliah what Shimei had done. There is no gentle way to tell her , Marah reasoned, no matter how I say it . What kind of a reaction would Athaliah have? Would it push her over into the world of madness forever? She must do as she had promised Shimei, but there was no way to make it easy. Oh Yahweh , God Who Sees Me , she prayed silently, help me .
Athaliah watched her move about the small house, setting out bread and fruit for their morning meal. Marah poured goat’s milk from the stone jar that was kept in the corner of the house where it was hidden from the heat of the day. Athaliah was silent, waiting.
“You did not sleep well, Daughter?” she finally inquired.
“No, Mother-in-law,” Marah confessed slowly, “there were many things on my mind.”
“What things? Have you had word from Shimei on his return?” The enemy attacked head-on. Today Athaliah seemed in her right mind and was inquiring about Shimei! There was no way out left for
As her eyes traveled slowly around the familiar room, she saw the small scroll on the ledge. What would she do if Athaliah awoke and also saw the scroll? Her small, bright eyes missed nothing, even in her madness. As Marah started to rise to get the scroll, she heard Athaliah’s voice.
“Good. You are awake early. We have much to do today, Daughter. My son returns soon and there are preparations to be made.”
Marah sighed inwardly. Athaliah was herself this morning, or so it appeared. It was going to be a difficult day. How long could she pretend she did not know about Shimei? When a reasonable time had passed, she knew the shammash would return. She could not lie to the shammash, for she knew he would know. He would see the fear on her face. How could she hide it? She did not look up at the scroll for fear Athaliah would follow her eyes and see it too.
As the day progressed Marah could not help glancing from time to time toward the entrance to the courtyard. She did not realize how many times until Athaliah patted her on the shoulder.
“You are anxious for my son’s return also, Daughter. That is a good sign. All will be well, you will see.” Athaliah nodded her head, smiling to herself.
Athaliah began to tick off on her fingers the various things they would need. “Shimei can bring more wine. He always knows what to get. We will need to prepare the raisin and date cakes. Now where is Shimei? He is never here when I need him. There is so much to do. Ah . . . it will be a feast to remember.”
Marah felt the hair on the nape of her neck rise. She looked at Athaliah closely. Where were Athaliah’s thoughts now? She nodded dumbly as she went on sweeping the courtyard. How could she let Athaliah do all those things in preparation? It would only make things worse when word of Shimei’s desertion was known. If the shammash came again, he might reveal that Shimei had gone. It was said that the high priest had spies everywhere.
Over and over she turned the thoughts in her mind as one would turn over shells along the shore of the sea, examining each one carefully and discarding it. She felt the scroll was safe. It was still on the ledge and Athaliah had not seen it. When her mother-in-law was busy letting the animals out, Marah had pushed the small scroll back farther on the shelf so it was concealed by the shadows.
While she worked, Marah sought for some way to gently tell Athaliah what Shimei had done. There is no gentle way to tell her , Marah reasoned, no matter how I say it . What kind of a reaction would Athaliah have? Would it push her over into the world of madness forever? She must do as she had promised Shimei, but there was no way to make it easy. Oh Yahweh , God Who Sees Me , she prayed silently, help me .
Athaliah watched her move about the small house, setting out bread and fruit for their morning meal. Marah poured goat’s milk from the stone jar that was kept in the corner of the house where it was hidden from the heat of the day. Athaliah was silent, waiting.
“You did not sleep well, Daughter?” she finally inquired.
“No, Mother-in-law,” Marah confessed slowly, “there were many things on my mind.”
“What things? Have you had word from Shimei on his return?” The enemy attacked head-on. Today Athaliah seemed in her right mind and was inquiring about Shimei! There was no way out left for
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