doorsteps….
Captain Harris turned Bigmac’s watch over.
“Amazing,” he said. “And it says ‘Made in Japan.’”
“Fiendishly cunning,” said the police sergeant.
The captain picked up the radio.
“Japanese again,” he said. “Why? Why put it on the back? See here. ‘Made in Japan.’”
“I thought it was all rice,” said the sergeant. “That’s what my dad said. He was out there.”
Captain Harris fiddled one of the tiny headphones into his ear and moved a switch. He listened to the hiss that was due to be replaced by Radio Blackbury in forty-eight years’ time, and nodded.
“It’s doing something,” he said. His thumb touched the wave-change switch, and he blinked.
“It’s the Home Service,” he said. “Clear as a bell!”
“We could have the back off it in no time,” said the sergeant.
“No,” said Captain Harris. “This has got to go to the Ministry. The men in white coats can have a look at it. How can you get valves to fit in this? Where’s the aerial?”
“Very small feet,” said the sergeant.
“Sorry, sergeant?”
“That’s what my dad said. Japanese. The women. Very small feet, he said. So maybe they’ve got small hands, too. Just a thought.” The sergeant tried to extend his line of technological speculation. “Good for making small things? You know. Like ships in bottles?”
The captain put the tiny radio back in the box.
“I’ve seen people do them,” said the sergeant, still anxious to be of assistance. “You get a bottle, then you get a lot of very thin thread—”
“He’s the best actor I’ve ever seen, I know that,” said Captain Harris. “You could really think he was just a stupid boy. But this stuff…I just can’t believe it. It’s all very…odd.”
“We’ve got every man out after him,” said the sergeant. “And the inspector has called out the army from West Underton. We’ll have him in no time.”
The captain sealed the box with sticky tape.
“I want this guarded,” he said.
“We’ll keep an eye on it in the main office.”
“No. I want it secure.”
“Well, there’s an empty cell. Actually there’s someone in it, but I’ll soon have ’em out.”
“More secure than that.”
The sergeant scratched an ear.
“There’s the Lost Property cupboard,” he said. “But there’s important stuff in it—”
“Lost Property cupboard! Haven’t you got a safe?”
“No.”
“What’d happen if the Crown Jewels were found in the gutter, then?”
“We’d put ’em in the Lost Property cupboard,” said the sergeant promptly. “And then ring up the king. If his name was in them, of course. Look, it’s a good thick door and there’s only one key and I’ve got it.”
“All right, take out what’s in there and put it in your cell and put the box in the cupboard,” said the captain.
“Chief inspector won’t like that. Very important stuff, Lost Property.”
“Tell him we can cooperate in a very friendly fashion now or if he prefers he can take a call from the chief constable in two minutes,” said Captain Harris, putting his hand on the phone. “One way or the other, hmm?”
The sergeant looked worried. “You serious about this, sir?” he said.
“Oh, yes.”
“That stuff’s not going to go off bang or anything, is it?”
“I’m not sure. I don’t think so.”
Five minutes later the sergeant walked down to the cells with his arms full of the contents of the cupboard, and a put-upon expression on his face. He put the objects on a bench in the corridor and fished out his keys. Then he pulled aside the hatch in a cell door.
“You all right, old girl?”
“That’s what you think. Talk about a blue pencil! You can tell he’s a lad, can’t yer, Mister Shadwell?”
“Yes, yes,” said the sergeant, opening the door.
The old lady sat on the bed. She was so short that her feet swung several inches above the floor. And there was a cat on her lap. It growled when it saw the
Captain Harris turned Bigmac’s watch over.
“Amazing,” he said. “And it says ‘Made in Japan.’”
“Fiendishly cunning,” said the police sergeant.
The captain picked up the radio.
“Japanese again,” he said. “Why? Why put it on the back? See here. ‘Made in Japan.’”
“I thought it was all rice,” said the sergeant. “That’s what my dad said. He was out there.”
Captain Harris fiddled one of the tiny headphones into his ear and moved a switch. He listened to the hiss that was due to be replaced by Radio Blackbury in forty-eight years’ time, and nodded.
“It’s doing something,” he said. His thumb touched the wave-change switch, and he blinked.
“It’s the Home Service,” he said. “Clear as a bell!”
“We could have the back off it in no time,” said the sergeant.
“No,” said Captain Harris. “This has got to go to the Ministry. The men in white coats can have a look at it. How can you get valves to fit in this? Where’s the aerial?”
“Very small feet,” said the sergeant.
“Sorry, sergeant?”
“That’s what my dad said. Japanese. The women. Very small feet, he said. So maybe they’ve got small hands, too. Just a thought.” The sergeant tried to extend his line of technological speculation. “Good for making small things? You know. Like ships in bottles?”
The captain put the tiny radio back in the box.
“I’ve seen people do them,” said the sergeant, still anxious to be of assistance. “You get a bottle, then you get a lot of very thin thread—”
“He’s the best actor I’ve ever seen, I know that,” said Captain Harris. “You could really think he was just a stupid boy. But this stuff…I just can’t believe it. It’s all very…odd.”
“We’ve got every man out after him,” said the sergeant. “And the inspector has called out the army from West Underton. We’ll have him in no time.”
The captain sealed the box with sticky tape.
“I want this guarded,” he said.
“We’ll keep an eye on it in the main office.”
“No. I want it secure.”
“Well, there’s an empty cell. Actually there’s someone in it, but I’ll soon have ’em out.”
“More secure than that.”
The sergeant scratched an ear.
“There’s the Lost Property cupboard,” he said. “But there’s important stuff in it—”
“Lost Property cupboard! Haven’t you got a safe?”
“No.”
“What’d happen if the Crown Jewels were found in the gutter, then?”
“We’d put ’em in the Lost Property cupboard,” said the sergeant promptly. “And then ring up the king. If his name was in them, of course. Look, it’s a good thick door and there’s only one key and I’ve got it.”
“All right, take out what’s in there and put it in your cell and put the box in the cupboard,” said the captain.
“Chief inspector won’t like that. Very important stuff, Lost Property.”
“Tell him we can cooperate in a very friendly fashion now or if he prefers he can take a call from the chief constable in two minutes,” said Captain Harris, putting his hand on the phone. “One way or the other, hmm?”
The sergeant looked worried. “You serious about this, sir?” he said.
“Oh, yes.”
“That stuff’s not going to go off bang or anything, is it?”
“I’m not sure. I don’t think so.”
Five minutes later the sergeant walked down to the cells with his arms full of the contents of the cupboard, and a put-upon expression on his face. He put the objects on a bench in the corridor and fished out his keys. Then he pulled aside the hatch in a cell door.
“You all right, old girl?”
“That’s what you think. Talk about a blue pencil! You can tell he’s a lad, can’t yer, Mister Shadwell?”
“Yes, yes,” said the sergeant, opening the door.
The old lady sat on the bed. She was so short that her feet swung several inches above the floor. And there was a cat on her lap. It growled when it saw the
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