changed since she had left. He changed when she
left.
In fact, he had changed the moment she left. Because that is how it works. Rapid and unexpected.
Most of us wouldn’t know it, but this is
a gift.
Chapter
Seventeen
Eric
He
wanted to go get her something, but when you’ve never met someone it’s hard to pick
out a gift. Eric supposed that because his daughter was only six years old, she
would like a toy or something, but the more he thought about what to get her,
the more he panicked. He knew nothing about her. He had missed so much.
Stabbing a paper cup with his metal
trash-grabber, he opened the trash bag he held in his other hand, plucked the
cup from the nail at the end of the stick, and tossed it in the bag. The sun
hadn’t fully risen yet, but there was just enough daylight to see by. Cars
whizzed by him on both sides of the median he was cleaning on Highway 71. The
grass was thick here, up past his knees. Since he had been doing this community
service–three years now–there had only been a handful of times when the
vegetation had been trimmed. He wondered why the litter needed to be removed
when they didn’t even bother to cut the grass.
Eric woke up at 4:30 AM, Monday through
Friday, to complete his community service. He worked from 5:30 until 9:30. Then
he went straight to school from there. From school he would go to work, and
from work he would get back to his studio apartment at eight o’clock, have a
microwave dinner, and go to sleep. His days since being released from prison
had been hard and long, but he had no complaints.
Nothing was worse than going back there.
He took nothing for granted.
“Hey, Toni?” Eric called.
Toni, one of people Eric met when he
began doing his community service, stabbed a soda bottle and lifted his left arm
to check his watch. “S’only seven in the mornin’, my friend. We ‘bout halfway
there,” Tony said.
Eric sighed and continued filling his
trash bag. He didn’t mind paying his debt to society, but he wished that his
tasks could be less busywork and more something that would occupy his mind. He
had spent three and a half years left with nothing but his thoughts, and he’d
found that he couldn’t stand to be alone with them. Life was better and much
easier when he kept moving. There were too many bad things that he preferred to
leave hidden within the recesses of his mind.
But, in the middle of the highway, as
the sun was just beginning to show and the world was still dark enough to keep
your eyes comfortable, everything was too reminiscent of that night. That night
that changed everything. The night of the accident.
As he skewered another improperly
disposed item, he replayed the events of that night in perfect order. You
always remember the rapid change. You usually remember it perfectly.
Chapter
Eighteen
Eric,
six and a half years ago
“Don’t
go,” Jenny said, tugging on the bottom of his shirt from her spot on the bed.
Eric kissed her on the forehead and
smiled. “Got to, babe. The streets are calling me.”
Jenny sat up, rubbing her belly, which
was just beginning to swell. Her face was scrunched up in concern. “You have to
stop this shit, Eric. Things are different now. We’ve got a baby on the way.”
Eric sat down beside her on the bed,
taking her hand into his own. She was so cute when she was concerned. “That’s exactly
why I gotta hustle, babe. We’re gonna need a lot of money to raise a baby,” he
said.
Jenny threw her hands up. “Do you even
hear yourself, Eric? That is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. The baby
needs us to be there for it. You can’t be here if you’re in jail.”
Eric struggled not to roll his eyes. He
loved Jenny very much, but he had heard this shit too many times before, from
everyone. No one complained, though, when he paid to get their cars fixed or
their rent when they were behind. His mother and Jenny were always telling him
to quit hustling, but they had no problem with reaping
left.
In fact, he had changed the moment she left. Because that is how it works. Rapid and unexpected.
Most of us wouldn’t know it, but this is
a gift.
Chapter
Seventeen
Eric
He
wanted to go get her something, but when you’ve never met someone it’s hard to pick
out a gift. Eric supposed that because his daughter was only six years old, she
would like a toy or something, but the more he thought about what to get her,
the more he panicked. He knew nothing about her. He had missed so much.
Stabbing a paper cup with his metal
trash-grabber, he opened the trash bag he held in his other hand, plucked the
cup from the nail at the end of the stick, and tossed it in the bag. The sun
hadn’t fully risen yet, but there was just enough daylight to see by. Cars
whizzed by him on both sides of the median he was cleaning on Highway 71. The
grass was thick here, up past his knees. Since he had been doing this community
service–three years now–there had only been a handful of times when the
vegetation had been trimmed. He wondered why the litter needed to be removed
when they didn’t even bother to cut the grass.
Eric woke up at 4:30 AM, Monday through
Friday, to complete his community service. He worked from 5:30 until 9:30. Then
he went straight to school from there. From school he would go to work, and
from work he would get back to his studio apartment at eight o’clock, have a
microwave dinner, and go to sleep. His days since being released from prison
had been hard and long, but he had no complaints.
Nothing was worse than going back there.
He took nothing for granted.
“Hey, Toni?” Eric called.
Toni, one of people Eric met when he
began doing his community service, stabbed a soda bottle and lifted his left arm
to check his watch. “S’only seven in the mornin’, my friend. We ‘bout halfway
there,” Tony said.
Eric sighed and continued filling his
trash bag. He didn’t mind paying his debt to society, but he wished that his
tasks could be less busywork and more something that would occupy his mind. He
had spent three and a half years left with nothing but his thoughts, and he’d
found that he couldn’t stand to be alone with them. Life was better and much
easier when he kept moving. There were too many bad things that he preferred to
leave hidden within the recesses of his mind.
But, in the middle of the highway, as
the sun was just beginning to show and the world was still dark enough to keep
your eyes comfortable, everything was too reminiscent of that night. That night
that changed everything. The night of the accident.
As he skewered another improperly
disposed item, he replayed the events of that night in perfect order. You
always remember the rapid change. You usually remember it perfectly.
Chapter
Eighteen
Eric,
six and a half years ago
“Don’t
go,” Jenny said, tugging on the bottom of his shirt from her spot on the bed.
Eric kissed her on the forehead and
smiled. “Got to, babe. The streets are calling me.”
Jenny sat up, rubbing her belly, which
was just beginning to swell. Her face was scrunched up in concern. “You have to
stop this shit, Eric. Things are different now. We’ve got a baby on the way.”
Eric sat down beside her on the bed,
taking her hand into his own. She was so cute when she was concerned. “That’s exactly
why I gotta hustle, babe. We’re gonna need a lot of money to raise a baby,” he
said.
Jenny threw her hands up. “Do you even
hear yourself, Eric? That is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. The baby
needs us to be there for it. You can’t be here if you’re in jail.”
Eric struggled not to roll his eyes. He
loved Jenny very much, but he had heard this shit too many times before, from
everyone. No one complained, though, when he paid to get their cars fixed or
their rent when they were behind. His mother and Jenny were always telling him
to quit hustling, but they had no problem with reaping
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