Jean P Sasson - [Princess 02] by Princess Sultana's Daughters (pdf) Page B

solitary Amani had no one to help her search for a more fitting, fresh objective in life.
    Now, retracing Amani's pattern of obsession with causes that held her interest, I, a woman schooled in philosophy, which is the critical study of fundamental beliefs, should have recognized that my youngest child possessed the traits often connected with those we deem fanatics, frightening people who eagerly embrace extremist convictions.
    Perceiving the resolute earnestness of my daughter, I now reproach myself for initiating an impressionable and mentally confused child into that most religious occasion, Haj. For Amani was only fourteen years old, the time of maximum adolescent upheaval. 
    During our pilgrimage to Makkah, by one of the strangest transformations in our family history, Kareem and I observed our daughter Amani emerge almost overnight from her dormant religious faith and embrace Islamic beliefs with unnerving intensity. I was nothing more than a mother tending her child, offering her the foundation of her heritage, but it was as if Amani's mind were caught by a higher vision, a secret that was in herself, too intimate to reveal to her mother or father.
    The morning after our arrival in Jeddah, we made the short drive in an air-conditioned limousine from that Red Sea city to the holiest city of Islam, the city of the Prophet Mohammed, Makkah. I was thrilled to find myself at the Haj with my most beloved family members in attendance. I tried to concentrate on my prayers but found myself peering out the car window, thinking of ancient times when enormous numbers of the faithful had come by camel caravan or trekked barefoot over rugged and rocky terrain in the eager quest to fulfil one of the five pillars of the Islamic faith.
    I wanted desperately to share my thoughts with Kareem and my children, but I saw that each of them was busy contemplating God and his or her relationship with him. Maha's eyes were closed, while Abdullah was fingering his prayer beads. Kareem seemed glassy eyed, and I hoped he was not reliving his youthful nightmare of being trampled to death on this day. I leaned close and stared, but my husband studiously avoided my eyes. Amani was caught up in her own solitary meditations, and I thought that my daughter's face seemed afire. Satisfied, I smiled and patted her hand, thinking that I had accomplished much good in bringing my family together for the holy event.
    Soon we arrived in the city, which is en closed by the Valley of Abraham and surrounded by mountain ranges to the east, west, and south. Makkah is set in a rugged landscape that consists mainly of solid granite, but the ancient city is the most beautiful of sights to all Muslims.
    I chanted, "Here I am, O God! Here I am!" Outside the Holy Mosque of Makkah, our family met with a specially appointed official guide who would lead us through the rituals of Haj and act as our Imam, or minister, during our prayers. Sara and I remained with our daughters, while Kareem and Asad walked away with our sons. All around us other pilgrims called out their prayers to God as we mounted the expansive marble steps of the Holy Mosque. Taking off our shoes at the entrance of the Mosque, we continued to walk and to pray, "God, you are the peace, and from you peace proceeds. O God of ours, greet us with peace."
    As the Prophet always moved with the right side of his body, I was careful to enter the white marble courtyard of the Holy Mosque by stepping through the Gate of Peace with my right foot first.
    There are seven main gates that open into the immense courtyard, and crowds were surging through each one. On the sides of the Mosque, white marble columns rose high into the air, while elaborately carved minarets towered above the columns. Red silk carpets ran the length of the courtyard, where pilgrims were sitting and reading silently or meditating about God.
    The cry of the muezzin rang out, and we were called to prayer. There is a section of the courtyard reserved