and quiet, but Kitten and Handsome weren’t, and neither was the chief or Blind Ghost. We trailed out of the dark, silent camp and up to the rosey light that spread across the plains and tinted the flowers of the blue-stemmed grasses the electric pink of a hooker’s hot pants.
***
Nothing happened during the day. We rode into the sun all morning, until it was right on top of us, then rode away from it all afternoon. After a while Sai started recognizing some far off mountains. “That is Shar-Vet, and that the Tooth of Zavyan. We travel homeward. Think you they mean to honor their bargain after all?”
I snorted. “You believe that, I got some Florida real estate I’d like to show you.”
“Flo-rida, Mistress?”
“It’s an Earth thing. You wouldn’t understand.”
Our escorts kept up their palsy-walsy bullshit, pointing out landmarks, translating dirty Aarurrh jokes with the few scraps of purple-guy talk they knew, piling on the food and drink and exchanging knowing looks and private jokes that Sai, who had a Dick and Jane level vocabulary in Aarurrh, couldn’t begin to understand.
I like to think that even without Queenie’s warning we might have figured out what these bozos were up to from the food thing: they were feeding us way too much. If we were going to be travelling for three days we would have run out of food on day two the way they were shoving it down our throats. They knew they’d have two less mouths to feed after tonight. But even if we’d figured it out and escaped, I’m not sure we’d have made it.
From our weeks of hunting and gathering, Sai and me knew enough of the local veggies that we wouldn’t have starved, but water was harder to find than an honest politician in Washington DC, and there were predators. We saw them in the distance a few times; vurlaks, Chevy van-sized six-legged hulks that looked like a cross between a Gila-monster and a pit bull with skin like velvet over concrete; and shikes, spindly, two-legged, four-armed tiger-monkeys with teeth too big for their heads. They hunted in packs and looked like they were distant cousins of the Aarurrh. Between those guys and a whole damn menagerie of other horrors I only heard about, Sai and I would have been lunch meat before sunrise.
We reached the outcropping of black rocks just as the sun was setting behind us in a sky like raw meat. They were a jumbled collection of natural stone towers sticking out of the top of a low hill like teeth growing from a tumor. They ranged from tree height to higher than a five story walk-up, and were split and crumbled like rotten wood. Boulder crumbs the size of Volkswagens were piled up all around their bases.
Tweedledum and Tweedledee wound us through the rocky maze to a wide clearing somewhere in the middle. There was a scorched ring of stones in the center filled with blackened wood and ash, and surrounded by sun-bleached bones. This was obviously a regular campsite.
I could see Sai scanning for the rock that looked like an uklan’s head, and I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding when I saw him relax. He nodded subtly off to the east and I snuck a look. One house-sized rock did kind of look like a lizard’s noggin. We spent the rest of sundown trying not to look in that direction.
Our murderous buddies made a big show of setting up the camp, building the fire, helping us with our bedrolls, and cooking up another big feast. It occurred to me that the fuckers were fattening us up, and that tomorrow night we were going to be the main course. Tweedledee grinned at me. “You eat good. Long trip tomorrow.”
Yeah, through his lower intestine. I suddenly knew how Hansel and Gretel felt when the wicked witch gave them the grand tour of the oven. I wasn’t hungry anymore.
Pretty soon, too soon, it was time for bed. As I lay down, an army of doubts invaded my mind. What if we’d beat Handsome and Kitten here? What if Sai had picked the wrong rock? What if I couldn’t
***
Nothing happened during the day. We rode into the sun all morning, until it was right on top of us, then rode away from it all afternoon. After a while Sai started recognizing some far off mountains. “That is Shar-Vet, and that the Tooth of Zavyan. We travel homeward. Think you they mean to honor their bargain after all?”
I snorted. “You believe that, I got some Florida real estate I’d like to show you.”
“Flo-rida, Mistress?”
“It’s an Earth thing. You wouldn’t understand.”
Our escorts kept up their palsy-walsy bullshit, pointing out landmarks, translating dirty Aarurrh jokes with the few scraps of purple-guy talk they knew, piling on the food and drink and exchanging knowing looks and private jokes that Sai, who had a Dick and Jane level vocabulary in Aarurrh, couldn’t begin to understand.
I like to think that even without Queenie’s warning we might have figured out what these bozos were up to from the food thing: they were feeding us way too much. If we were going to be travelling for three days we would have run out of food on day two the way they were shoving it down our throats. They knew they’d have two less mouths to feed after tonight. But even if we’d figured it out and escaped, I’m not sure we’d have made it.
From our weeks of hunting and gathering, Sai and me knew enough of the local veggies that we wouldn’t have starved, but water was harder to find than an honest politician in Washington DC, and there were predators. We saw them in the distance a few times; vurlaks, Chevy van-sized six-legged hulks that looked like a cross between a Gila-monster and a pit bull with skin like velvet over concrete; and shikes, spindly, two-legged, four-armed tiger-monkeys with teeth too big for their heads. They hunted in packs and looked like they were distant cousins of the Aarurrh. Between those guys and a whole damn menagerie of other horrors I only heard about, Sai and I would have been lunch meat before sunrise.
We reached the outcropping of black rocks just as the sun was setting behind us in a sky like raw meat. They were a jumbled collection of natural stone towers sticking out of the top of a low hill like teeth growing from a tumor. They ranged from tree height to higher than a five story walk-up, and were split and crumbled like rotten wood. Boulder crumbs the size of Volkswagens were piled up all around their bases.
Tweedledum and Tweedledee wound us through the rocky maze to a wide clearing somewhere in the middle. There was a scorched ring of stones in the center filled with blackened wood and ash, and surrounded by sun-bleached bones. This was obviously a regular campsite.
I could see Sai scanning for the rock that looked like an uklan’s head, and I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding when I saw him relax. He nodded subtly off to the east and I snuck a look. One house-sized rock did kind of look like a lizard’s noggin. We spent the rest of sundown trying not to look in that direction.
Our murderous buddies made a big show of setting up the camp, building the fire, helping us with our bedrolls, and cooking up another big feast. It occurred to me that the fuckers were fattening us up, and that tomorrow night we were going to be the main course. Tweedledee grinned at me. “You eat good. Long trip tomorrow.”
Yeah, through his lower intestine. I suddenly knew how Hansel and Gretel felt when the wicked witch gave them the grand tour of the oven. I wasn’t hungry anymore.
Pretty soon, too soon, it was time for bed. As I lay down, an army of doubts invaded my mind. What if we’d beat Handsome and Kitten here? What if Sai had picked the wrong rock? What if I couldn’t
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