thinking. Here I get to say it all out loud and not have to feel guilty about bringing down my friends. Here I can have a cathartic wallow in my misery, and then… then…
I’m not sure when I first started to hear the voices. But after I’ve run out of words, I start to hear them, coming up out of the well. Nothing profound. Just the ghosts of old wishes. The echoes of other people’s dreams, paid for by the simple dropping of a coin, down into the water.
Splash.
I guess what I want is for Jane to love me, and for us to be happy together.
Splash.
Just a pony and I swear I’ll take care of her.
Splash.
Don’t let them find out that I’m pregnant.
Splash.
Make John stop running around on me and I promise I’ll make him the best wife he could ever want.
Splash.
I don’t know why it makes me feel better. All these ghost voices are asking for things, are dreaming, are wishing, are needing. Just like me. But I do come away with a sense of, not exactly peace, but… less urgency, I suppose.
Maybe it’s because when I hear those voices, when I know that, just like me, they paid their pennies in hopes to make things a little better for themselves, I don’t feel so alone anymore.
Does that make any sense?
4
“So what’re you doing this weekend, Jim?” Scotty asked.
Jim Bradstreet cradled the phone against his ear and leaned back on his sofa.
“Nothing much,” he said as he continued to open his mail. Water bill. Junk flyer. Another junk flyer. Visa bill. “I thought maybe I’d give Brenda a call.”
“She the one who sent you those flowers?”
“Yeah.”
“You can do better than that,” Scotty said.
Jim tossed the opened mail onto his coffee table and shifted the receiver from one ear to the other.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked.
“I’d think it was obvious—you said she seemed so desperate.”
Jim regretted having told Scotty anything about his one date with Brenda Perry. She had seemed clingy, especially for a first date, but he’d also realized from their conversation throughout the evening that she didn’t exactly have the greatest amount of self-esteem. He’d hesitated calling her again—especially after the flowers—because he wasn’t sure he wanted to get into a relationship with someone so dependent. But that wasn’t exactly fair. He didn’t really know her and asking her for another date wasn’t exactly committing to a relationship.
“I still liked her,” he said into the receiver.
Scotty laughed. “Just can’t get her out of your mind, right?”
“No,” Jim replied in all honesty. “I can’t.”
“Hey, I was just kidding, you know?” Before Jim could reply, Scotty added, “What do you say we get together for a few brews, check out the action at that new club on Lakeside.”
“Some other time,” Jim told him.
“I’m telling you, man, this woman’s trouble. She sounds way too neurotic for you.”
“You don’t know her,” Jim said. “For that matter, / don’t really know her.”
“Yeah, but we know her kind. You’re not going to change your mind?”
“Not tonight.”
“Well, it’s your loss,” Scotty said. “I’ll give the ladies your regrets.”
“You do that,” Jim said before he hung up.
It took him a few moments to track down where he’d put Brenda’s number. When he did find it and made the call, all he got was her answering machine. He hesitated for” a brief moment, then left a message.
“Hi, this is Jim. Uh, Jim Bradstreet. I know it’s late notice and all, but I thought maybe we could get together tonight, or maybe tomorrow? Call me.”
He left his number and waited for a couple of hours, but she never phoned back. As it got close to eight-thirty, he considered going down to that new club that Scotty had been so keen on checking out, but settled instead on taking in a movie. The lead actress had red hair, with the same gold highlights as Brenda’s. The guy playing the other lead character
I’m not sure when I first started to hear the voices. But after I’ve run out of words, I start to hear them, coming up out of the well. Nothing profound. Just the ghosts of old wishes. The echoes of other people’s dreams, paid for by the simple dropping of a coin, down into the water.
Splash.
I guess what I want is for Jane to love me, and for us to be happy together.
Splash.
Just a pony and I swear I’ll take care of her.
Splash.
Don’t let them find out that I’m pregnant.
Splash.
Make John stop running around on me and I promise I’ll make him the best wife he could ever want.
Splash.
I don’t know why it makes me feel better. All these ghost voices are asking for things, are dreaming, are wishing, are needing. Just like me. But I do come away with a sense of, not exactly peace, but… less urgency, I suppose.
Maybe it’s because when I hear those voices, when I know that, just like me, they paid their pennies in hopes to make things a little better for themselves, I don’t feel so alone anymore.
Does that make any sense?
4
“So what’re you doing this weekend, Jim?” Scotty asked.
Jim Bradstreet cradled the phone against his ear and leaned back on his sofa.
“Nothing much,” he said as he continued to open his mail. Water bill. Junk flyer. Another junk flyer. Visa bill. “I thought maybe I’d give Brenda a call.”
“She the one who sent you those flowers?”
“Yeah.”
“You can do better than that,” Scotty said.
Jim tossed the opened mail onto his coffee table and shifted the receiver from one ear to the other.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked.
“I’d think it was obvious—you said she seemed so desperate.”
Jim regretted having told Scotty anything about his one date with Brenda Perry. She had seemed clingy, especially for a first date, but he’d also realized from their conversation throughout the evening that she didn’t exactly have the greatest amount of self-esteem. He’d hesitated calling her again—especially after the flowers—because he wasn’t sure he wanted to get into a relationship with someone so dependent. But that wasn’t exactly fair. He didn’t really know her and asking her for another date wasn’t exactly committing to a relationship.
“I still liked her,” he said into the receiver.
Scotty laughed. “Just can’t get her out of your mind, right?”
“No,” Jim replied in all honesty. “I can’t.”
“Hey, I was just kidding, you know?” Before Jim could reply, Scotty added, “What do you say we get together for a few brews, check out the action at that new club on Lakeside.”
“Some other time,” Jim told him.
“I’m telling you, man, this woman’s trouble. She sounds way too neurotic for you.”
“You don’t know her,” Jim said. “For that matter, / don’t really know her.”
“Yeah, but we know her kind. You’re not going to change your mind?”
“Not tonight.”
“Well, it’s your loss,” Scotty said. “I’ll give the ladies your regrets.”
“You do that,” Jim said before he hung up.
It took him a few moments to track down where he’d put Brenda’s number. When he did find it and made the call, all he got was her answering machine. He hesitated for” a brief moment, then left a message.
“Hi, this is Jim. Uh, Jim Bradstreet. I know it’s late notice and all, but I thought maybe we could get together tonight, or maybe tomorrow? Call me.”
He left his number and waited for a couple of hours, but she never phoned back. As it got close to eight-thirty, he considered going down to that new club that Scotty had been so keen on checking out, but settled instead on taking in a movie. The lead actress had red hair, with the same gold highlights as Brenda’s. The guy playing the other lead character
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