bring up furthering my education. He was completely riled over the purchase of my house. I ignored him to the extent it was possible. Despite my nightmares over Daddy’s doubts and general unhappiness and my nerves over my great leap forward , I was still irrepressible.
He finally came around last night with a new angle to justify my leaving to himself. I was hanging clothes in a wardrobe box when he came into my room.
“You know, Anna, I’ve been thinking.”
Was he going to try again to change my mind?
“Yeah? About what?” I turned and smiled at him, thinking that if he could see my happiness, it would deter the appeal.
“Well, it’s about your mother. You want a glass of tea?”
“Sure,” I said and stopped, followed him to the kitchen and stood by the counter as he poured me a glass. “Thanks. What’s bothering you?”
“Your mother’s parents were closer to my age than I was to her age when I married her, you know.”
I squeezed a wedge of lemon into my glass and let him continue.
“I realize now, looking back, that she married me because I offered her a way to get away from living at poverty level.”
“That’s not the worst thing, Daddy. Her parents were ancient and she was working as a checkout girl at the grocery store. I mean, it wasn’t such a grand life for a beautiful young woman. People marry for a lot of reasons.”
“Yeah, they do. You want a sandwich?”
“No, thanks,” I said. “Open the new salami—the other package is past the expiration date.”
We had a little issue about throwing away food and I knew he would eat anything without fur. I made a mental note to come over and clean out the refrigerator every so often.
“Right,” he said, and pulled out the cutting board. “People do marry for a lot of reasons and even though you and Jim couldn’t make it last forever, that boy always loved you and Emily.”
“I think he always will too.”
“Yeah, but your mother’s motive wasn’t exactly pure. She jumped at the first chance for a respectable life that came along, you know?”
“Look, Daddy, I love you to death. You know that. I’m tired of pee-peeing on Momma’s grave. I think she was young and stupid. That’s all.”
“Baby, listen to me. That’s not what I’m saying here. I’m saying that she didn’t give herself the chance to be on her own for a while and then marry. She never gave herself a chance to find out what she wanted. So this is a good thing for you to do, in that way. Just don’t jump at some foolish guy who promises you the world. If it’s not working out, for whatever reason, talk to me, okay?”
“First of all, I’m not leaving you to find a husband. And, there isn’t a landslide of men around here to date anyway, Daddy. They’re all married or screwed up or losers. And marriage isn’t for everyone, you know. I mean, this is about me living where I have always wanted to live and having a place for Emily and me that’s ours. I’m not exactly the romantic type anyway. And the last thing I’d do is dive into a marriage without considering your opinion and Jim’s and Frannie’s and Emily’s. Right? Come on! You know me better.”
“I do know you better, but I also remember how easy it was for me to convince myself that Mary Beth really loved me. That’s all.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll keep you posted, okay? Now, finish your sandwich and help me unpack!”
I had hardly slept last night, I was so excited. For good reason. All I had to do was look outside. The afternoon sky was filled with so much blue it made me feel like flying. Great pillows and sheer tears of clouds invited the hide-and-seek of angelic creatures. Gorgeous!
I had opened every window in the house and the stuffiness of the rooms was immediately sucked out by the pull of the ocean. The air was as warm and tasty as any I could recollect—a fat-free gumbo of heavy saline, wrapped in the sounds of frond rustle and bird song. It was a perfect summer day.
He finally came around last night with a new angle to justify my leaving to himself. I was hanging clothes in a wardrobe box when he came into my room.
“You know, Anna, I’ve been thinking.”
Was he going to try again to change my mind?
“Yeah? About what?” I turned and smiled at him, thinking that if he could see my happiness, it would deter the appeal.
“Well, it’s about your mother. You want a glass of tea?”
“Sure,” I said and stopped, followed him to the kitchen and stood by the counter as he poured me a glass. “Thanks. What’s bothering you?”
“Your mother’s parents were closer to my age than I was to her age when I married her, you know.”
I squeezed a wedge of lemon into my glass and let him continue.
“I realize now, looking back, that she married me because I offered her a way to get away from living at poverty level.”
“That’s not the worst thing, Daddy. Her parents were ancient and she was working as a checkout girl at the grocery store. I mean, it wasn’t such a grand life for a beautiful young woman. People marry for a lot of reasons.”
“Yeah, they do. You want a sandwich?”
“No, thanks,” I said. “Open the new salami—the other package is past the expiration date.”
We had a little issue about throwing away food and I knew he would eat anything without fur. I made a mental note to come over and clean out the refrigerator every so often.
“Right,” he said, and pulled out the cutting board. “People do marry for a lot of reasons and even though you and Jim couldn’t make it last forever, that boy always loved you and Emily.”
“I think he always will too.”
“Yeah, but your mother’s motive wasn’t exactly pure. She jumped at the first chance for a respectable life that came along, you know?”
“Look, Daddy, I love you to death. You know that. I’m tired of pee-peeing on Momma’s grave. I think she was young and stupid. That’s all.”
“Baby, listen to me. That’s not what I’m saying here. I’m saying that she didn’t give herself the chance to be on her own for a while and then marry. She never gave herself a chance to find out what she wanted. So this is a good thing for you to do, in that way. Just don’t jump at some foolish guy who promises you the world. If it’s not working out, for whatever reason, talk to me, okay?”
“First of all, I’m not leaving you to find a husband. And, there isn’t a landslide of men around here to date anyway, Daddy. They’re all married or screwed up or losers. And marriage isn’t for everyone, you know. I mean, this is about me living where I have always wanted to live and having a place for Emily and me that’s ours. I’m not exactly the romantic type anyway. And the last thing I’d do is dive into a marriage without considering your opinion and Jim’s and Frannie’s and Emily’s. Right? Come on! You know me better.”
“I do know you better, but I also remember how easy it was for me to convince myself that Mary Beth really loved me. That’s all.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll keep you posted, okay? Now, finish your sandwich and help me unpack!”
I had hardly slept last night, I was so excited. For good reason. All I had to do was look outside. The afternoon sky was filled with so much blue it made me feel like flying. Great pillows and sheer tears of clouds invited the hide-and-seek of angelic creatures. Gorgeous!
I had opened every window in the house and the stuffiness of the rooms was immediately sucked out by the pull of the ocean. The air was as warm and tasty as any I could recollect—a fat-free gumbo of heavy saline, wrapped in the sounds of frond rustle and bird song. It was a perfect summer day.
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