Ironman by Chris Crutcher Page B

or I’ll give them somethin’ to bawl about, but that don’t do no good, an’ I run out the door to see where he’s headed, but he’s long gone. Pickup’s still in the driveway.”
    Nak says, “You git your hands on the note?”
    â€œYeah, it was layin’ right there on his bed.” Elvis takes inventory of the faces again, and Nak gently urges him on.
    â€œIt said, ‘This here’s the bullet they took out of our momma’s brain, Dad. I thought you should have it toput in the scrapbook I hope you’re keepin’ to show how bad you messed up this family. I’m tellin’ what you did to me, Dad. I have to. It probably means you’ll go to jail. It wasn’t right.’”
    Shelly scrutinizes Elvis’s face, now staring into the floor in the middle of the circle. Softly she says, “You know what that means, don’t you?”
    â€œYeah,” he says without looking up. “It means my ol’ man done my sister. Whaddaya think, I’m some kind of dumbshit?”
    â€œNo,” Shelly says back evenly. “I just think it feels real bad, that’s all. I know a thing or two about that.”
    Elvis flares. “Yeah, well, you don’t know nothin’ about me.”
    â€œI do now,” she says.
    Elvis stands and starts to bolt out of the room, but Nak’s soft voice catches him midstride. “This ain’t about Shelly,” he says, “or any of the rest of us. No need to be runnin’ off. Let’s finish this. You told us for a reason. What was it?”
    â€œI don’t know,” Elvis says, running his hand over his face in frustration. “I guess ’cause my brother an’ sister are gettin’ hungry an’ I’m tired of stealin’ shit to feed ’em, ’cause if I get caught, well…” Elvis appears desperate.
    Nak nods.
    â€œAn’ ’cause I’m feelin’ like killin’ my sister, but that’s mostly ’cause I can’t find my dad to kill him.”
    â€œYou want to talk a little about your dad?” Nak asks.
    â€œNope. I’m done talkin’.”
    JANUARY 3
    Dear Larry,
    This saga is taking some turns . We might have to upgrade it to a “Knots Landing” spin-off. Maybe cable. Late night. Since it’s supposed to be a book about my rise to the top of the triathletes’ pyramid, I only wanted to include my training and what I think about during my training, but when I’m working out, my mind runs wild.
    Do you find it strange to know about people’s lives, Larry? I mean, it’s got to affect you to talk to a 1950s Miss America after you know her dad molested her, right? It changes things. Being in Mr. Nak’s group shows you what’s below the surface of people’s lives. When you’re just trying to live your life, trying to get by, you tend to oversimplify things. You look at a guy like Elvis, and he’s just another badass making all us regular folks’ lives a little more risky, and Hudgie’s a loon and Shelly is there to make you ache below the belt, and Mr. S is there to help you, and I’m justbreathing people’s air. But when you look below the surface, something else is true.
    If I ever do really mail any of this to you, I’ll have to white a lot of it out, especially this next part because it’s confidential and the guy it’s about already thinks I’m a major snitch, but writing it down might help me understand it. Today Elvis told us his older sister accused his dad of being a child molester. She sent him the bullet their mother killed herself with when she found out, as a little Christmas reminder that he drove her to it. Shuja was squirming like he was ten seconds from blast-off, and nearly everyone else tried to disappear to keep from looking at Elvis or have his story touch them in any way. But Hudgie was calmer than I’ve ever seen