lesson there.
Or maybe he didnât.
And heâs still the same now, always mooning everybody. Even when we were inducted into the UK Music Hall of Fame and we played âParanoidâ, Ozzy mooned the crowd. Well, the crowd â there werenât that many people there, but he didnât think they were enthusiastic enough so he decided to pull his pants down again.
Youâre playing to people in your business, so what do you expect? Theyâre not going to jump up and shout and scream; they just sit there politely. And The Kinks were in the front. You donât expect them to leap up!
It didnât piss me off, though, it didnât bother us. Weâre used to seeing that.
Iâve seen Ozzyâs arse more times than Iâve seen my own!
23
An Antipodean murder mystery
In January 1971 we flew to Adelaide to headline the Myponga Open Air Festival. We were lured into doing this by the promoter, who said: âWhy donât you come and stay for a weekâs holiday? All expenses paid!â
Really great for us. We got there and he turned out to be a very generous host. He said to us: âWhile youâre here: whatever you want.â
We wanted! Caviar and champagne, it was over the top. There were four limousines at our disposal and on top of that he gave each of us a brand new car. He said: âFor you to use in case you want to drive anywhere yourselves and have a look around.â
The wrong thing to do. We decided to go down to the beach to have a race along the waterâs edge. One of the cars got stuck. I tried to tow it out and I got stuck.
âAh, fuck!â
Then the tide came in. As the water got closer, we started to
panic. We got these oars off this blokeâs boat and we were trying to get them under the wheels. âKchch!â Broke both his oars. No matter what we did, the cars couldnât be moved. We watched helplessly as, finally, the water covered both cars. I phoned the promoter up and told him what had happened. He took it in his stride and sent a truck to tow them out. Of course the cars were completely knackered.
In the run-up to the festival I did some radio interviews and at one of them I said: âOh, weâre very lonely, we could do with some women here.â
Live, on air. And what happened? Loads of girls turned up at the hotel. Me and Patrick Meehan ended up with this one girl in our room and then . . . she passed out.
Meehan went: âSheâs dead!â
Oh, fucking hell! I thought, Christ, sheâs dead. Sheâs dead !
I could see the headlines: âGirl found dead in hotel room with two guysâ. I just thought, theyâll think itâs us!
Meehan went: âWe got to get rid of her! We got to get rid of her!â
His idea was to throw her off the balcony and say that she had fallen off it. We were really high up. The thought of it now is absolutely frightening, but in my panic I went along with it. We got her to the balcony, we were trying to pick her up and then . . . she came round.
âBloody hell, sheâs alive!â
She was probably high on drugs, but, we could quite easily have just tossed her off of there and I would have become a twenty-two-year-old murderer.
âBut your honour, she was dead already!â
I bet that girl doesnât even know what happened. Iâll probably be arrested now. She will read this book and come out of the woodwork: âYes, there he is!â
âIt was Meehan! It was Meehan!â
Such a shame, really. It was a big festival, everything there went great and the promoter looked after us like you wouldnât believe. We later heard he went bust.
I wonder why . . .
24
Flying fish
In February 1971 we started our second tour of America. It was great, also thanks to our friends from Mountain. They were a good band, they treated us well and they had plenty of drugs. I really liked their guitar player, Leslie West. Still do. I once said to him:
Or maybe he didnât.
And heâs still the same now, always mooning everybody. Even when we were inducted into the UK Music Hall of Fame and we played âParanoidâ, Ozzy mooned the crowd. Well, the crowd â there werenât that many people there, but he didnât think they were enthusiastic enough so he decided to pull his pants down again.
Youâre playing to people in your business, so what do you expect? Theyâre not going to jump up and shout and scream; they just sit there politely. And The Kinks were in the front. You donât expect them to leap up!
It didnât piss me off, though, it didnât bother us. Weâre used to seeing that.
Iâve seen Ozzyâs arse more times than Iâve seen my own!
23
An Antipodean murder mystery
In January 1971 we flew to Adelaide to headline the Myponga Open Air Festival. We were lured into doing this by the promoter, who said: âWhy donât you come and stay for a weekâs holiday? All expenses paid!â
Really great for us. We got there and he turned out to be a very generous host. He said to us: âWhile youâre here: whatever you want.â
We wanted! Caviar and champagne, it was over the top. There were four limousines at our disposal and on top of that he gave each of us a brand new car. He said: âFor you to use in case you want to drive anywhere yourselves and have a look around.â
The wrong thing to do. We decided to go down to the beach to have a race along the waterâs edge. One of the cars got stuck. I tried to tow it out and I got stuck.
âAh, fuck!â
Then the tide came in. As the water got closer, we started to
panic. We got these oars off this blokeâs boat and we were trying to get them under the wheels. âKchch!â Broke both his oars. No matter what we did, the cars couldnât be moved. We watched helplessly as, finally, the water covered both cars. I phoned the promoter up and told him what had happened. He took it in his stride and sent a truck to tow them out. Of course the cars were completely knackered.
In the run-up to the festival I did some radio interviews and at one of them I said: âOh, weâre very lonely, we could do with some women here.â
Live, on air. And what happened? Loads of girls turned up at the hotel. Me and Patrick Meehan ended up with this one girl in our room and then . . . she passed out.
Meehan went: âSheâs dead!â
Oh, fucking hell! I thought, Christ, sheâs dead. Sheâs dead !
I could see the headlines: âGirl found dead in hotel room with two guysâ. I just thought, theyâll think itâs us!
Meehan went: âWe got to get rid of her! We got to get rid of her!â
His idea was to throw her off the balcony and say that she had fallen off it. We were really high up. The thought of it now is absolutely frightening, but in my panic I went along with it. We got her to the balcony, we were trying to pick her up and then . . . she came round.
âBloody hell, sheâs alive!â
She was probably high on drugs, but, we could quite easily have just tossed her off of there and I would have become a twenty-two-year-old murderer.
âBut your honour, she was dead already!â
I bet that girl doesnât even know what happened. Iâll probably be arrested now. She will read this book and come out of the woodwork: âYes, there he is!â
âIt was Meehan! It was Meehan!â
Such a shame, really. It was a big festival, everything there went great and the promoter looked after us like you wouldnât believe. We later heard he went bust.
I wonder why . . .
24
Flying fish
In February 1971 we started our second tour of America. It was great, also thanks to our friends from Mountain. They were a good band, they treated us well and they had plenty of drugs. I really liked their guitar player, Leslie West. Still do. I once said to him:
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