wasn’t going to risk any paparazzi hanging around, and getting a
scoop before we’d had time to get to know each other better.”
“Oh.” I
whisper stunned. This is because my brain has now gone into shock. Looking
down at my hands to hide my confusion, I try to break his statement down. I
can understand his view on the paparazzi and the party; but he’d been scared of
being shot down! AJ Lewis! Is he mad? And to top it all he’s called me babe. As
in BABE.
What the
hell? I don’t know what to think about what’s happening here. My instincts are
telling me to slam that wall up and hide behind it, but I find I don’t want to.
I don’t want to go down the same route I’ve been travelling the last few
years, but dare I take the risk and put myself out there with him?
My head
snaps back up and my eyes meet his as he softly calls my name.
“Birdie.
What’s going on inside that head of yours?”
“Turmoil.”
I confess, blurting it out quietly. Another mouth malfunction. What is it
about him that causes my mouth to act without engaging with my brain?
“Turmoil?” he repeats raising an eyebrow. His beautiful blue eyes
looking stunned.
“Yes
turmoil. Puzzled, perplexed, confused, even chaos. You throw me into
turmoil.”
“I throw
you into turmoil?” He repeats as if to himself quietly. “I’d like to think I
threw your feelings into something else, but there you go. Tell me why you’re…
let’s say…. confused.”
How can
I tell him what’s going through my mind? When it and my feelings are all in
disarray. Straightening my back, I come to a decision. He asked me to always
tell him the truth. So I’m going to lay it on the line. If he doesn’t like
it, then so be it. At least I will know where I stand.
“I don’t
know what you expect from me.” I say hesitantly. “You say you went to all that
trouble to attend the party. People don’t do those kinds of things; cancelling
flying to New York, just to meet me. That’s madness! Crazy! We hadn’t spoken
two words to each other. Why would you do that? Then there’s the apartment. I
feel beholden to you for letting me stay there.”
I
observe his face as I continue to speak, noticing the narrowing of his eyes and
the clenching of his jaw. Yep! He doesn’t like what I’m saying, but I’m on a
roll, the words tumbling from my mouth, unable to stop now I’ve begun.
“Please don’t
be angry.” I say, trying to appease him. “You don’t know me, yet you’re doing
all these things. I don’t want to sound ungrateful, truly, but it’s all too
much. I feel overawed, even slightly intimidated by your actions. Can you not
understand that? I’m not used to the way you do things, or the way you say
things. I live a normal quiet life, and I feel like I’ve been thrown head
first into a lion’s den, and I’m going to be swallowed up by you sometimes.”
After
finishing my outburst, I have to say I feel quite liberated; as though a great
weight has been removed from my shoulders. He now knows how I feel, hopefully
he now understands where I’m coming from.
Looking at
him, I notice he is no longer tense, but staring at me thoughtfully. The edges
of his mouth tilted as if he’s trying not to laugh.
“Are you
laughing at me?” I question affronted. I’ve just laid myself out there and
he’s laughing. I can’t believe it.
In
temper, I quickly stand, intending to go to my room and leave him to his amusement.
However, I don’t reach very far, as he catches my hand and brings my flight to
a halt.
“I’m
sorry babe. I’m not laughing honestly. It’s just the thought of me as a lion,
swallowing you up. The mental picture got the better of me for a moment. Please
sit back down, let’s talk.”
As I
look at him, I can see he still has an expression of stifled laughter about
him, and despite myself I can’t help it, I burst out laughing, as I fall back
onto
scoop before we’d had time to get to know each other better.”
“Oh.” I
whisper stunned. This is because my brain has now gone into shock. Looking
down at my hands to hide my confusion, I try to break his statement down. I
can understand his view on the paparazzi and the party; but he’d been scared of
being shot down! AJ Lewis! Is he mad? And to top it all he’s called me babe. As
in BABE.
What the
hell? I don’t know what to think about what’s happening here. My instincts are
telling me to slam that wall up and hide behind it, but I find I don’t want to.
I don’t want to go down the same route I’ve been travelling the last few
years, but dare I take the risk and put myself out there with him?
My head
snaps back up and my eyes meet his as he softly calls my name.
“Birdie.
What’s going on inside that head of yours?”
“Turmoil.”
I confess, blurting it out quietly. Another mouth malfunction. What is it
about him that causes my mouth to act without engaging with my brain?
“Turmoil?” he repeats raising an eyebrow. His beautiful blue eyes
looking stunned.
“Yes
turmoil. Puzzled, perplexed, confused, even chaos. You throw me into
turmoil.”
“I throw
you into turmoil?” He repeats as if to himself quietly. “I’d like to think I
threw your feelings into something else, but there you go. Tell me why you’re…
let’s say…. confused.”
How can
I tell him what’s going through my mind? When it and my feelings are all in
disarray. Straightening my back, I come to a decision. He asked me to always
tell him the truth. So I’m going to lay it on the line. If he doesn’t like
it, then so be it. At least I will know where I stand.
“I don’t
know what you expect from me.” I say hesitantly. “You say you went to all that
trouble to attend the party. People don’t do those kinds of things; cancelling
flying to New York, just to meet me. That’s madness! Crazy! We hadn’t spoken
two words to each other. Why would you do that? Then there’s the apartment. I
feel beholden to you for letting me stay there.”
I
observe his face as I continue to speak, noticing the narrowing of his eyes and
the clenching of his jaw. Yep! He doesn’t like what I’m saying, but I’m on a
roll, the words tumbling from my mouth, unable to stop now I’ve begun.
“Please don’t
be angry.” I say, trying to appease him. “You don’t know me, yet you’re doing
all these things. I don’t want to sound ungrateful, truly, but it’s all too
much. I feel overawed, even slightly intimidated by your actions. Can you not
understand that? I’m not used to the way you do things, or the way you say
things. I live a normal quiet life, and I feel like I’ve been thrown head
first into a lion’s den, and I’m going to be swallowed up by you sometimes.”
After
finishing my outburst, I have to say I feel quite liberated; as though a great
weight has been removed from my shoulders. He now knows how I feel, hopefully
he now understands where I’m coming from.
Looking at
him, I notice he is no longer tense, but staring at me thoughtfully. The edges
of his mouth tilted as if he’s trying not to laugh.
“Are you
laughing at me?” I question affronted. I’ve just laid myself out there and
he’s laughing. I can’t believe it.
In
temper, I quickly stand, intending to go to my room and leave him to his amusement.
However, I don’t reach very far, as he catches my hand and brings my flight to
a halt.
“I’m
sorry babe. I’m not laughing honestly. It’s just the thought of me as a lion,
swallowing you up. The mental picture got the better of me for a moment. Please
sit back down, let’s talk.”
As I
look at him, I can see he still has an expression of stifled laughter about
him, and despite myself I can’t help it, I burst out laughing, as I fall back
onto
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