hold the fort,” Shep
said. “Then you can tell us what happened. We’re not going to pry.”
She kissed him on the cheek
then ran out the back door. She couldn’t see any reporters around, but she
didn’t trust them not to ambush her. She put her brain on autopilot as she
drove to Rafe’s garage. Ian would be there too. It was his day off, and he was
helping out Rafe’s family and forming those connections she craved. They were
supposed to go out for lunch, the three of them, in another hour and then Ian
would spend the afternoon at Midnight getting to know her family.
At least that had been the
plan.
Not anymore.
A few spiteful words in a newspaper
gossip column had ruined that.
She pulled into the garage and
shut off the engine. The tears still hadn’t fallen. It was as if she were
frozen in time, watching everyone around her moving around like nothing had
happened. Like her world hadn’t just shattered into a million tiny pieces and
would never be whole again.
“Sassy? Are we late?” Rafe
asked, a smile on his face. He had grease stains on his coveralls and looked
strong enough that he could hold her with his will alone.
It wasn’t enough.
“Baby?” Ian came out from the
other room, dressed in jeans and a t-shirt making him look more casual than
she’d ever seen him. He looked like he fit in the family.
Something she’d never be part
of.
“What’s wrong?” Rafe asked as
he came up to her.
She took a step back when he
tried to reach for her. The shock and pain on his face was like a blow to the
chest, but this was how it needed to be.
“Can we find a private place
to talk?” She could see Rafe’s father walking into the garage and she couldn’t
face him, not when she was going to disappoint him and his family again.
God, she’d done this before
but then it had been to protect her own heart.
No, it was to protect them.
There was a difference.
There had to be.
“Yeah, we can go to the back,”
Rafe said, the fear in his voice shooting straight through her.
Funny, she’d thought she’d be
numb by now.
She followed them both and
stood between them, knowing this would be the last time she’d do so.
“Have you seen the papers?”
she asked, her voice devoid of emotion. If she broke down then, she’d never
stop and wouldn’t be able to get it out.
“Not yet,” Ian said. “I read
the front headlines, but haven’t looked at the rest. What is this, Sassy?”
She shook her head. “Look at
the gossip column when you get a chance, or don’t. They know.”
Rafe blinked. “Who knows?”
“Everyone. They all know. They
know the Bordeaux whore is in a threesome and the lost princess is a shame to
her family.”
Ian’s face grew stormy. “What?
What name did you just use?”
She shook her head. “That’s
not important. You’ll read all about it. What they wrote? It’s not true. We
know that, but it doesn’t matter. What does matter is that we’re hurting people
being together. Ian, you’ll lose so much by doing this. You too, Rafe. Your
family might agree with what we’re doing but will they once they’re hounded by
my past and the future we thought to make?”
“Fuck the world, Sass,” Rafe
barked. “We’ve been through this before. We’re not losing you.”
She shook her head. “We’ve
never done this before. I’ve spent my life trying to find out who I am, and if
I stay and hurt the people I love because I wanted something I can’t have, then
I’ve lost myself as well.”
“Nothing we are is wrong ,”
Ian whispered.
She closed her eyes tight to
keep the tears at bay. “I know that. I know . We’ve never been taboo in
my head. I’ve never thought anything was wrong with loving two men. That isn’t
it. It’s the fact that others would be hurt because of what I want. That’s what
kills me. That’s the difference. If I could love both of you and never have it
harm the people we love too, then I’d leap at the chance. But I can’t
said. “Then you can tell us what happened. We’re not going to pry.”
She kissed him on the cheek
then ran out the back door. She couldn’t see any reporters around, but she
didn’t trust them not to ambush her. She put her brain on autopilot as she
drove to Rafe’s garage. Ian would be there too. It was his day off, and he was
helping out Rafe’s family and forming those connections she craved. They were
supposed to go out for lunch, the three of them, in another hour and then Ian
would spend the afternoon at Midnight getting to know her family.
At least that had been the
plan.
Not anymore.
A few spiteful words in a newspaper
gossip column had ruined that.
She pulled into the garage and
shut off the engine. The tears still hadn’t fallen. It was as if she were
frozen in time, watching everyone around her moving around like nothing had
happened. Like her world hadn’t just shattered into a million tiny pieces and
would never be whole again.
“Sassy? Are we late?” Rafe
asked, a smile on his face. He had grease stains on his coveralls and looked
strong enough that he could hold her with his will alone.
It wasn’t enough.
“Baby?” Ian came out from the
other room, dressed in jeans and a t-shirt making him look more casual than
she’d ever seen him. He looked like he fit in the family.
Something she’d never be part
of.
“What’s wrong?” Rafe asked as
he came up to her.
She took a step back when he
tried to reach for her. The shock and pain on his face was like a blow to the
chest, but this was how it needed to be.
“Can we find a private place
to talk?” She could see Rafe’s father walking into the garage and she couldn’t
face him, not when she was going to disappoint him and his family again.
God, she’d done this before
but then it had been to protect her own heart.
No, it was to protect them.
There was a difference.
There had to be.
“Yeah, we can go to the back,”
Rafe said, the fear in his voice shooting straight through her.
Funny, she’d thought she’d be
numb by now.
She followed them both and
stood between them, knowing this would be the last time she’d do so.
“Have you seen the papers?”
she asked, her voice devoid of emotion. If she broke down then, she’d never
stop and wouldn’t be able to get it out.
“Not yet,” Ian said. “I read
the front headlines, but haven’t looked at the rest. What is this, Sassy?”
She shook her head. “Look at
the gossip column when you get a chance, or don’t. They know.”
Rafe blinked. “Who knows?”
“Everyone. They all know. They
know the Bordeaux whore is in a threesome and the lost princess is a shame to
her family.”
Ian’s face grew stormy. “What?
What name did you just use?”
She shook her head. “That’s
not important. You’ll read all about it. What they wrote? It’s not true. We
know that, but it doesn’t matter. What does matter is that we’re hurting people
being together. Ian, you’ll lose so much by doing this. You too, Rafe. Your
family might agree with what we’re doing but will they once they’re hounded by
my past and the future we thought to make?”
“Fuck the world, Sass,” Rafe
barked. “We’ve been through this before. We’re not losing you.”
She shook her head. “We’ve
never done this before. I’ve spent my life trying to find out who I am, and if
I stay and hurt the people I love because I wanted something I can’t have, then
I’ve lost myself as well.”
“Nothing we are is wrong ,”
Ian whispered.
She closed her eyes tight to
keep the tears at bay. “I know that. I know . We’ve never been taboo in
my head. I’ve never thought anything was wrong with loving two men. That isn’t
it. It’s the fact that others would be hurt because of what I want. That’s what
kills me. That’s the difference. If I could love both of you and never have it
harm the people we love too, then I’d leap at the chance. But I can’t
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