That’s not who we are. You cannot be with him. You’re going to give your vow to Richard Savage, and that’s how it has to be. You are only as good as your word, child. Your word is your bond.”
I know that. I do. But the idea of not being with Phillip takes my breath away. I don’t want to breathe without him.
I don’t tell my mother that, though. Instead, I visit with her a little bit longer, and when I leave, I feel her eyes buried between my shoulder blades as she watches me go.
It’s like she knows.
And she probably does.
Chapter Two
H is fingers tangle in my hair, and his breath is sweet on my cheek.
“Livvie,” he whispers, and his voice is the moonlight. “How you complete me.”
He strokes my arms, my chest, my belly. He trails his soft lips along my collarbone, then brings them to mine, softly, softly and his words taste like honey. I breathe them in and inhale his kiss, and try to memorize his face with my fingers.
“I love you,” I tell him, and there is pain in my words, a true heartache that I could never communicate with a mere sentence. His eyes are soft and black as he stares into mine, and they shimmer in the moon.
“You are my heart,” he answers simply.
His body is hard and lean and long as he slides over me, and then into me, again and again in the night. I cling to him as if my life depends on it, because in an uncertain way, it does.
Phillip anchors me. He completes me. He fills up my empty places and makes me feel alive. Without him, I am dead, like wood or stone. I tell him that, and he lifts me up, my hips held to his, my neck to his mouth.
“Mon petite lapin,” he murmurs. “You will live, and I will live, and we will always be.”
“But I want to always be together,” I tell him limply, and even though his hands are everywhere and his mouth is soft as the clouds, I can only think of that, I can only focus on the imminent loss of him. “Please don’t leave me.”
He draws his head back and looks at me, and he looks deep into me, into places I didn’t even realize existed.
“I’ll always be with you, Livvie.”
He is so firm, so assured, that I allow myself to believe it. I collapse into him, absorbing his warmth and his security and his strength. The sinewy muscles of his chest throb with heat and my fingers trace the striations, finding the beat of his heart.
I press mine to his, and take pleasure in the way they unite.
It makes me feel like we’re one, like we’ll always be one.
I open my arms and he comes to me, holding his head against my breast, lapping at them, caressing me. There’s a flash of silver, skin pressed to skin, bone against bone. My thighs fold around his hand, squeezing him into me, holding him close. He palms me, strokes me, ignites me.
I gasp, he swallows it. I moan into his mouth, he smiles against mine.
“You are lovely,” he tells me as he slowly slowly slowly takes me again, and in his eyes, I know that I am. In the reflection of his gaze, I see my long dark hair, lush and shiny. I see my curves and my angles, my smile and my woe. I see it all the way he sees me and I am lovely.
It is empowering and I tremble with it.
He smiles.
“See what you do to me, Livvie?”
He wraps my white fingers around his manhood and it pulses and hardens, again and again and again. When we’re finally spent, I fall against him and sleep in his arms, sleeping the sleep of the sated…until I begin to dream.
My dreams build, black, black, blacker, like storm clouds rolling in from the horizon. Phillip rides the storm and his face is thunderous.
“Don’t betray me,” he booms, and his mouth is contorted and angry.
“What do you mean?” I ask, and I’m confused because I’d never. I’d never in my life betray him. He has to know that. “I’d give my life for you.”
He pauses amidst the storm and looks down at me, his gaze pensive and black.
“Would you?”
I reach for him, but he dissipates into the mist of the clouds and
I know that. I do. But the idea of not being with Phillip takes my breath away. I don’t want to breathe without him.
I don’t tell my mother that, though. Instead, I visit with her a little bit longer, and when I leave, I feel her eyes buried between my shoulder blades as she watches me go.
It’s like she knows.
And she probably does.
Chapter Two
H is fingers tangle in my hair, and his breath is sweet on my cheek.
“Livvie,” he whispers, and his voice is the moonlight. “How you complete me.”
He strokes my arms, my chest, my belly. He trails his soft lips along my collarbone, then brings them to mine, softly, softly and his words taste like honey. I breathe them in and inhale his kiss, and try to memorize his face with my fingers.
“I love you,” I tell him, and there is pain in my words, a true heartache that I could never communicate with a mere sentence. His eyes are soft and black as he stares into mine, and they shimmer in the moon.
“You are my heart,” he answers simply.
His body is hard and lean and long as he slides over me, and then into me, again and again in the night. I cling to him as if my life depends on it, because in an uncertain way, it does.
Phillip anchors me. He completes me. He fills up my empty places and makes me feel alive. Without him, I am dead, like wood or stone. I tell him that, and he lifts me up, my hips held to his, my neck to his mouth.
“Mon petite lapin,” he murmurs. “You will live, and I will live, and we will always be.”
“But I want to always be together,” I tell him limply, and even though his hands are everywhere and his mouth is soft as the clouds, I can only think of that, I can only focus on the imminent loss of him. “Please don’t leave me.”
He draws his head back and looks at me, and he looks deep into me, into places I didn’t even realize existed.
“I’ll always be with you, Livvie.”
He is so firm, so assured, that I allow myself to believe it. I collapse into him, absorbing his warmth and his security and his strength. The sinewy muscles of his chest throb with heat and my fingers trace the striations, finding the beat of his heart.
I press mine to his, and take pleasure in the way they unite.
It makes me feel like we’re one, like we’ll always be one.
I open my arms and he comes to me, holding his head against my breast, lapping at them, caressing me. There’s a flash of silver, skin pressed to skin, bone against bone. My thighs fold around his hand, squeezing him into me, holding him close. He palms me, strokes me, ignites me.
I gasp, he swallows it. I moan into his mouth, he smiles against mine.
“You are lovely,” he tells me as he slowly slowly slowly takes me again, and in his eyes, I know that I am. In the reflection of his gaze, I see my long dark hair, lush and shiny. I see my curves and my angles, my smile and my woe. I see it all the way he sees me and I am lovely.
It is empowering and I tremble with it.
He smiles.
“See what you do to me, Livvie?”
He wraps my white fingers around his manhood and it pulses and hardens, again and again and again. When we’re finally spent, I fall against him and sleep in his arms, sleeping the sleep of the sated…until I begin to dream.
My dreams build, black, black, blacker, like storm clouds rolling in from the horizon. Phillip rides the storm and his face is thunderous.
“Don’t betray me,” he booms, and his mouth is contorted and angry.
“What do you mean?” I ask, and I’m confused because I’d never. I’d never in my life betray him. He has to know that. “I’d give my life for you.”
He pauses amidst the storm and looks down at me, his gaze pensive and black.
“Would you?”
I reach for him, but he dissipates into the mist of the clouds and
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