Ingenue's Choice by Gracie C. Mckeever Page B

before the pair went off to get something to eat.
    I’ll tell you everything you need to know…
    Eww, that didn’t bode well at all, did it?
    “Not at all, child.”
    “So, I guess I’m staying for a while longer then?”
    “You guessed right, human.”

    * * * *

    84
    Gracie C. McKeever
    “He thought I was cheating on him.”
    Patryk’s heart lurched at Keir’s murmured confession. He instantly, instinctively stiffened in Keir’s embrace, and just as instantly, Keir tightened his arms around Patryk.
    Patryk closed his eyes against the maelstrom of emotion and memories swamping him and took several deep breaths until he thought he could speak without betraying the level of doubt and pain coursing through him. Then he cleared his throat and asked, “He who?”
    “Elijah. My lover. He was wrong.”
    Each clipped word came at Patryk like a rifle shot, echoing through the cavernous room and making Patryk hold his breath until the last sentence was uttered.
    He turned in Keir’s arms as Keir loosened his hold, and searched Keir’s face for a long moment before saying, “Tell me.”
    “There’s not much to tell. We were together for a year when he died in a car crash.”
    “Okay, you’ve given me a beginning and an end, but there’s a whole lot of middle missing from your story.”
    Keir inhaled like a man preparing to blow up a big balloon and exhaled a long sigh as he wiped a hand down his face as if he could wipe away the memory of his lover’s death. “Do you really need to know this?”
    “You said you’d tell me everything.”
    “I was under the spell of a jade-eyed seducer at the time.” The upward tilt of Keir’s generous mouth was decidedly melancholy when he looked at Patryk.
    Patryk looked back, eyes widening when realization suddenly dawned.
    “It’s about the paintings I found, isn’t it?”
    Keir nodded. “They were the last ones I did before I painted you. That car crash was the only thing I could paint for three years before I met you.”
    “Why?”
    “I’m not sure. Survivor’s guilt maybe. Or just plain guilt.”
    “You said he was wrong. That you didn’t cheat.”
    “Still doesn’t mean I wasn’t responsible for what happened to him.”

    Ingenue’s Choice
    85
    “I don’t understand.”
    “El always had problems from when we first met, problems I chose to overlook.”
    “What kind of problems?” Patryk asked, but the most important questions—was El submissive and did Keir love him—remained locked in his throat, unspoken.
    “Depression, addiction…jealousy.”
    Patryk couldn’t help wondering if the last was said as a warning until Keir suddenly sat up, took Patryk’s hands in his, and squeezed as if to dispel Patryk’s misgivings.
    “You’re nothing like him, Patryk. El had self-esteem issues, was needy and possessive. I was younger, arrogant, not long graduated from college, thought I knew it all and could handle anything. I thought I could handle him . But El’s jealousy was self-destructive and a lot stronger than the both of us.
    “There were times when I wondered why I even got involved with such a fucked-up and manipulative individual. Then there were those other calm and quiet intervals when El could be the sweetest, most attentive, loving and supportive boyfriend anyone could ever know. I guess you just had to know him, the real him sans the drugs and insecurities, to understand why I tried to make things work.”
    Patryk thought he already understood. Keir didn’t seem like the type of guy to quit when the going got tough, wasn’t the kind of guy to leave a relationship at the first sign of trouble. “You were his enabler, and that’s why you blame yourself for his death.”
    Keir chuckled. “You sound like my mother. She tried to tell me it wasn’t my fault, too.
    “If it was just the crash, I think I could’ve handled it, but it’s the things that led up to and followed the crash that were, actually still are, hard to deal