she doesn't question why
I'm asking. Kai's eyes shift between Madge and me, but the mood
hanging over us like a thundercloud can't dampen her spirits for
long. She smiles and puts a hand to her belly.
“ The baby kicked.”
I have to smile too. She takes my hand and guides it
to her side. Underneath my fingers, I feel a nudge that rolls
across her skin and away from me. I grin at her.
Boy or girl?
She shrugs. “I don't know. They didn't tell me.”
This starts to ignite the anger again, but she
smiles, and her smile is so blissfully content as she puts a hand
on her belly that I have to sit back.
“As long as it's healthy, I don't care.”
I'm expecting another movie tonight, but the intercom
crackles on instead.
“We have located another reclamation site. Those of
you working in the cannery, instead of your normal work assignments
tomorrow, you will report to the yard and be bused to the
reclamation site. You will receive further instructions there.”
Then the scratchy voice is silent.
Madge shrugs. “Guess we're going on a field trip.
Anything better than being in here for a day.”
Reclamation?
“ They must've found a small town or
farm or something that hasn't been picked over. We'll go out and
pick it over.” She smiles at me. “They make us be the vultures
instead of them.”
The next morning, soldiers line the hall every
twenty feet as we file from the mess hall toward the yard. I have a
pounding headache, and even the pale fluorescent lights make me
squint. I didn't have any more hallucinations after the second
injection Dr. Benedict gave me, but I'm not sure which is
worse: seeing things that aren't there or waiting for my head to
split open.
I lay in bed last night and couldn't
even bring myself to put my pillow over my head once the anthem
started. The percussion throbbed into my ears, and then the lights
went out and the screams started. All I could do was clench my
fists around my blanket and squeeze my eyes closed as tightly as
possible. Jane didn't move (again), and I wondered how long it took
her to get used to the cacophony all around us. That might just be
the thing that breaks the silence between us. So, how
long until I can actually sleep through the screams? Do you just
have a major build-up of ear wax?
So today I'm exhausted and feel like pounding my
head against a wall, but falling asleep and bludgeoning myself
aren't options, so I do my best to follow Jane down the hallway. If
I look only at her head, the lights and noise don't seem quite so
bad. She walks with her shoulders hunched, her head down, her arms
wrapped around her middle like she's trying to hold herself
together. She looks like the most pathetic thing I've ever seen,
but the soldiers leave her alone. Hardly anyone notices her.
When the doors yawn open to the outside, I'm
thankful that the sky is overcast. I long for another clear day
like yesterday, but I don't think my headache could handle
sunlight. One bus waits for us in the yard, spewing dark exhaust
into the air. The bus is painted the same mustard yellow as our
shirts. The engine sputters and chokes and then resumes roaring at
us. A soldier sits behind the wheel and his mask is turned toward
us. A few more soldiers board the bus, and then an agent steps
beside the door, scanner in hand.
We line up and she scans each of our arms as we make
our way onto the bus. Jane slides into a seat, and I sit next to
her. Her eyes rest on mine for just a second, and I catch the
faintest glimpse of more than the beat-down girl she always shows
me. Then she turns to look out the window, and the glimpse is gone
as soon as it began.
Madge sits across the aisle from us and grins
maniacally. I guess she was serious about the field trip. I just
don't know how she thinks it'll be a grand time out when there'll
be soldiers and agents breathing down our necks. She runs her
fingers through her hair, and the curls pouf out into a frizzy
torrent of red.
“ I've been waiting for
I'm asking. Kai's eyes shift between Madge and me, but the mood
hanging over us like a thundercloud can't dampen her spirits for
long. She smiles and puts a hand to her belly.
“ The baby kicked.”
I have to smile too. She takes my hand and guides it
to her side. Underneath my fingers, I feel a nudge that rolls
across her skin and away from me. I grin at her.
Boy or girl?
She shrugs. “I don't know. They didn't tell me.”
This starts to ignite the anger again, but she
smiles, and her smile is so blissfully content as she puts a hand
on her belly that I have to sit back.
“As long as it's healthy, I don't care.”
I'm expecting another movie tonight, but the intercom
crackles on instead.
“We have located another reclamation site. Those of
you working in the cannery, instead of your normal work assignments
tomorrow, you will report to the yard and be bused to the
reclamation site. You will receive further instructions there.”
Then the scratchy voice is silent.
Madge shrugs. “Guess we're going on a field trip.
Anything better than being in here for a day.”
Reclamation?
“ They must've found a small town or
farm or something that hasn't been picked over. We'll go out and
pick it over.” She smiles at me. “They make us be the vultures
instead of them.”
The next morning, soldiers line the hall every
twenty feet as we file from the mess hall toward the yard. I have a
pounding headache, and even the pale fluorescent lights make me
squint. I didn't have any more hallucinations after the second
injection Dr. Benedict gave me, but I'm not sure which is
worse: seeing things that aren't there or waiting for my head to
split open.
I lay in bed last night and couldn't
even bring myself to put my pillow over my head once the anthem
started. The percussion throbbed into my ears, and then the lights
went out and the screams started. All I could do was clench my
fists around my blanket and squeeze my eyes closed as tightly as
possible. Jane didn't move (again), and I wondered how long it took
her to get used to the cacophony all around us. That might just be
the thing that breaks the silence between us. So, how
long until I can actually sleep through the screams? Do you just
have a major build-up of ear wax?
So today I'm exhausted and feel like pounding my
head against a wall, but falling asleep and bludgeoning myself
aren't options, so I do my best to follow Jane down the hallway. If
I look only at her head, the lights and noise don't seem quite so
bad. She walks with her shoulders hunched, her head down, her arms
wrapped around her middle like she's trying to hold herself
together. She looks like the most pathetic thing I've ever seen,
but the soldiers leave her alone. Hardly anyone notices her.
When the doors yawn open to the outside, I'm
thankful that the sky is overcast. I long for another clear day
like yesterday, but I don't think my headache could handle
sunlight. One bus waits for us in the yard, spewing dark exhaust
into the air. The bus is painted the same mustard yellow as our
shirts. The engine sputters and chokes and then resumes roaring at
us. A soldier sits behind the wheel and his mask is turned toward
us. A few more soldiers board the bus, and then an agent steps
beside the door, scanner in hand.
We line up and she scans each of our arms as we make
our way onto the bus. Jane slides into a seat, and I sit next to
her. Her eyes rest on mine for just a second, and I catch the
faintest glimpse of more than the beat-down girl she always shows
me. Then she turns to look out the window, and the glimpse is gone
as soon as it began.
Madge sits across the aisle from us and grins
maniacally. I guess she was serious about the field trip. I just
don't know how she thinks it'll be a grand time out when there'll
be soldiers and agents breathing down our necks. She runs her
fingers through her hair, and the curls pouf out into a frizzy
torrent of red.
“ I've been waiting for
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