after.”
Jackie flicked her long, black hair off her shoulder and pressed her lips together, her green eyes unblinking as she stared impatiently at me. “Sounds like a lot of fun,” she said dryly. “Can I make a suggestion? Try having fun for the time being. Find some hot guy, have lots of hot sex, and don’t worry about whether he checks all the boxes on your extensive list of items meant to weed out any man with a pulse. Seriously, what’s the worst that could happen?”
I twisted my lips to the side and pretended to think about it. “Hmm…I fall madly in love with said hot guy, not be able to live without him, and turn into Glenn Close’s character in Fatal Attraction?” I laughed.
“Okay, smartass. Ever the optimist,” Jackie quipped, sarcasm evident in her voice. “We all have needs. And you haven’t gotten laid in forever. Hellooo—it’s called sexual frustration.”
I could always trust Jackie to put it all out there without softening the edges. “I’m not sexually frustrated. They make stuff to take care of that sort of thing,” I teased.
“It’s not the same and you know it. A vibrator isn’t going to kiss you like it can’t get enough. You can’t feel the heat of its skin against you or gaze into its eyes when it’s on top of you, just before it—”
I raised my hand up to stop her from continuing. “Okay, I get your point.”
I had that familiar pang in my chest, a lonely ache coupled with another ache brewing further down as I imagined what it would be like to be with a man again. Having that intimacy with someone would be nice, but some things just weren’t worth taking the risk for. Life had thrown a lot at me, and I’d learned that being that dependent on another person for my happiness wasn’t worth the pain left behind in their absence. My sister was all I had left now.
“I understand.” Jackie looked at me sadly. “After what happened with Jeff, I get it. But that was forever ago. Maybe you could keep it casual? You’re gorgeous. You’ve never had a shortage of male attention.”
I sighed. I was no fool. I knew exactly what Jackie’s end game was. She hoped that if I put myself out there, I’d magically stumble into Mr. Right like she had. Never. Going. To. Happen. I just wasn’t that girl who had everything fall into place for her. My past was proof enough.
Jackie’s hand came down on top of mine. “I want you to be happy. I worry about you. What are you going to do once your sister’s moved halfway across the country? I’m concerned about where that’s going to leave you. Ever since Jeff, you’ve kept every guy at arm’s length. And that was years ago. You need a man in your life.”
I gulped. Jackie’s concern was genuine, and none of what she’d said was news to me. I’d had those same thoughts plenty of times, but I kept pushing them away, telling myself I’d deal with them later. Well, later was fast approaching.
Hearing it from Jackie’s mouth brought home the realization that I couldn’t continue to put off dealing with the inevitable—my sister was leaving for college. Dread formed in the pit of my stomach as I tried to picture how I’d fill my days once she was gone. The person who had been my primary focus for the past ten years would soon no longer be a part of my daily routine. I’d taken a chance on Jeff and after how that turned out, well, I’d thought it was better to focus on raising my sister and securing my own future. My love life could wait.
“If you’d walked in on your boyfriend banging his secretary on his desk, you wouldn’t be keen on dating either,” I deadpanned. “But that’s not it…I’ve been stressed out with work. I’m not sure I’m going to meet my sales quota by the deadline. I need that bonus,” I said, massaging my temple. Impending loneliness had been the least of my concerns over the past few weeks. Ever since my Broker’s offer to buy into the firm, I’d been working like mad to make every
Jackie flicked her long, black hair off her shoulder and pressed her lips together, her green eyes unblinking as she stared impatiently at me. “Sounds like a lot of fun,” she said dryly. “Can I make a suggestion? Try having fun for the time being. Find some hot guy, have lots of hot sex, and don’t worry about whether he checks all the boxes on your extensive list of items meant to weed out any man with a pulse. Seriously, what’s the worst that could happen?”
I twisted my lips to the side and pretended to think about it. “Hmm…I fall madly in love with said hot guy, not be able to live without him, and turn into Glenn Close’s character in Fatal Attraction?” I laughed.
“Okay, smartass. Ever the optimist,” Jackie quipped, sarcasm evident in her voice. “We all have needs. And you haven’t gotten laid in forever. Hellooo—it’s called sexual frustration.”
I could always trust Jackie to put it all out there without softening the edges. “I’m not sexually frustrated. They make stuff to take care of that sort of thing,” I teased.
“It’s not the same and you know it. A vibrator isn’t going to kiss you like it can’t get enough. You can’t feel the heat of its skin against you or gaze into its eyes when it’s on top of you, just before it—”
I raised my hand up to stop her from continuing. “Okay, I get your point.”
I had that familiar pang in my chest, a lonely ache coupled with another ache brewing further down as I imagined what it would be like to be with a man again. Having that intimacy with someone would be nice, but some things just weren’t worth taking the risk for. Life had thrown a lot at me, and I’d learned that being that dependent on another person for my happiness wasn’t worth the pain left behind in their absence. My sister was all I had left now.
“I understand.” Jackie looked at me sadly. “After what happened with Jeff, I get it. But that was forever ago. Maybe you could keep it casual? You’re gorgeous. You’ve never had a shortage of male attention.”
I sighed. I was no fool. I knew exactly what Jackie’s end game was. She hoped that if I put myself out there, I’d magically stumble into Mr. Right like she had. Never. Going. To. Happen. I just wasn’t that girl who had everything fall into place for her. My past was proof enough.
Jackie’s hand came down on top of mine. “I want you to be happy. I worry about you. What are you going to do once your sister’s moved halfway across the country? I’m concerned about where that’s going to leave you. Ever since Jeff, you’ve kept every guy at arm’s length. And that was years ago. You need a man in your life.”
I gulped. Jackie’s concern was genuine, and none of what she’d said was news to me. I’d had those same thoughts plenty of times, but I kept pushing them away, telling myself I’d deal with them later. Well, later was fast approaching.
Hearing it from Jackie’s mouth brought home the realization that I couldn’t continue to put off dealing with the inevitable—my sister was leaving for college. Dread formed in the pit of my stomach as I tried to picture how I’d fill my days once she was gone. The person who had been my primary focus for the past ten years would soon no longer be a part of my daily routine. I’d taken a chance on Jeff and after how that turned out, well, I’d thought it was better to focus on raising my sister and securing my own future. My love life could wait.
“If you’d walked in on your boyfriend banging his secretary on his desk, you wouldn’t be keen on dating either,” I deadpanned. “But that’s not it…I’ve been stressed out with work. I’m not sure I’m going to meet my sales quota by the deadline. I need that bonus,” I said, massaging my temple. Impending loneliness had been the least of my concerns over the past few weeks. Ever since my Broker’s offer to buy into the firm, I’d been working like mad to make every
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