inquired, genuinely clueless about what I was referring to. He slid his chair closer to me and leaned forward.
I held his face in my hands. “Everything. This afternoon, Maggie’s engagement. You haven’t even made fun of Donny.” I teased before kissing him on the forehead.
“Ha!” He laughed. “I’m happy for Maggie, I think she’s going to drive the dude nuts with her irritating sweetness, Donny needs to wear his shirt one size larger, his arms are bursting out of their sleeves, and he also needs to gel his hair.”
“There he is,” I smiled. “The man I know and love.” I removed his glasses and placed them on the table directly behind me. And then I kissed his left eye, then his right eye and settled my lips on his right cheek. “I’m sorry about this afternoon,” I started to say.
“I know you are,” he whispered. “I love you. Maybe it’s okay, just being you and me for now.”
“No, no,” I argued softly. “I meant what I said,” I leaned back on my arms and spread my legs seductively. “In fact…” My robe fell open, its right sleeve sliding off my shoulder as if on cue. He licked his lips and settled his hands on my legs. “We are going to try. Right,” I tugged at his hands, “now.”
“No,” he said gently as he pulled me towards him. “I just want you to want our baby in your own time.”
“I want our baby. I want you now, tomorrow, next week, next year. You’re the only one I want,” I whispered, while earnestly trailing my fingers from his chin down to his chest.
“I must be drunk because I’m beginning to believe you,” he said.
“Well, believe me.” I jumped off the desk and knelt right in front of him.
He watched as I unzipped his pants and held him in my hands before showing him how hungry I was for him. He held my head down and let out a groan. “Don’t stop,” he whispered.
“I love you, Tey. So much,” I said. I wanted to do for him what he was always willing to do for me. To give me love and pleasure and happiness without asking for anything in return. Jude was gone, disappeared into thin air. Gone.
He lifted himself up to make sure that I took all of him in my mouth. “Suck me, baby. Oh God. Fuck me with that dirty, filthy mouth.”
I teased, I lingered, I drove him crazy until he lifted my head up roughly, taking me by the shoulders, and settling me on his lap. “I want to be inside you. Put me inside you.”
I followed him obediently. I knew that he liked it when we talked during sex. I moved myself on top of him, ground myself into him.
“Tell me, Spark. Tell me how it feels,” he said gruffly.
“You’re so big, so strong,” I said with a whimper. “You fill me up so much. You’re all I need. You, just you.”
He lifted me up and set me down on the desk. “What do you want, baby?”
“I want you to fuck me hard. Harder, Tey, do it harder.”
“Like this? Like this?” He held on to my hips as he drove into me, one of my legs on top of his shoulder, the other spread out across the crook of his arm.
“Yeah,” I said with a gasp. “Yeah, just like that.” The pleasure never failed to make me forget. And every day, I swore it was getting easier and easier. Teeny tiny triumphs in the one thousand, eight hundred and twenty-five days since he’d been gone.
He leaned over and bit my breast. “This is mine. Your beautiful tits are mine. Squeeze them for me, baby.”
I followed his every order, bringing my hands to my breasts and caressing myself. He loomed above me, watching me, invading me forcefully. The force of his thrusts would push my head off the desk; he would pull me back, fill me to the brink before pushing me off the table once again.
“Baby. I’m going to fill you up soon. Tell me you love me.”
Whenever I was with him, I lived in these moments. There was no one else. This wasn’t a game that I played between two men. I didn’t settle for Dante because I couldn’t have Jude. I gave up on Jude long before
I held his face in my hands. “Everything. This afternoon, Maggie’s engagement. You haven’t even made fun of Donny.” I teased before kissing him on the forehead.
“Ha!” He laughed. “I’m happy for Maggie, I think she’s going to drive the dude nuts with her irritating sweetness, Donny needs to wear his shirt one size larger, his arms are bursting out of their sleeves, and he also needs to gel his hair.”
“There he is,” I smiled. “The man I know and love.” I removed his glasses and placed them on the table directly behind me. And then I kissed his left eye, then his right eye and settled my lips on his right cheek. “I’m sorry about this afternoon,” I started to say.
“I know you are,” he whispered. “I love you. Maybe it’s okay, just being you and me for now.”
“No, no,” I argued softly. “I meant what I said,” I leaned back on my arms and spread my legs seductively. “In fact…” My robe fell open, its right sleeve sliding off my shoulder as if on cue. He licked his lips and settled his hands on my legs. “We are going to try. Right,” I tugged at his hands, “now.”
“No,” he said gently as he pulled me towards him. “I just want you to want our baby in your own time.”
“I want our baby. I want you now, tomorrow, next week, next year. You’re the only one I want,” I whispered, while earnestly trailing my fingers from his chin down to his chest.
“I must be drunk because I’m beginning to believe you,” he said.
“Well, believe me.” I jumped off the desk and knelt right in front of him.
He watched as I unzipped his pants and held him in my hands before showing him how hungry I was for him. He held my head down and let out a groan. “Don’t stop,” he whispered.
“I love you, Tey. So much,” I said. I wanted to do for him what he was always willing to do for me. To give me love and pleasure and happiness without asking for anything in return. Jude was gone, disappeared into thin air. Gone.
He lifted himself up to make sure that I took all of him in my mouth. “Suck me, baby. Oh God. Fuck me with that dirty, filthy mouth.”
I teased, I lingered, I drove him crazy until he lifted my head up roughly, taking me by the shoulders, and settling me on his lap. “I want to be inside you. Put me inside you.”
I followed him obediently. I knew that he liked it when we talked during sex. I moved myself on top of him, ground myself into him.
“Tell me, Spark. Tell me how it feels,” he said gruffly.
“You’re so big, so strong,” I said with a whimper. “You fill me up so much. You’re all I need. You, just you.”
He lifted me up and set me down on the desk. “What do you want, baby?”
“I want you to fuck me hard. Harder, Tey, do it harder.”
“Like this? Like this?” He held on to my hips as he drove into me, one of my legs on top of his shoulder, the other spread out across the crook of his arm.
“Yeah,” I said with a gasp. “Yeah, just like that.” The pleasure never failed to make me forget. And every day, I swore it was getting easier and easier. Teeny tiny triumphs in the one thousand, eight hundred and twenty-five days since he’d been gone.
He leaned over and bit my breast. “This is mine. Your beautiful tits are mine. Squeeze them for me, baby.”
I followed his every order, bringing my hands to my breasts and caressing myself. He loomed above me, watching me, invading me forcefully. The force of his thrusts would push my head off the desk; he would pull me back, fill me to the brink before pushing me off the table once again.
“Baby. I’m going to fill you up soon. Tell me you love me.”
Whenever I was with him, I lived in these moments. There was no one else. This wasn’t a game that I played between two men. I didn’t settle for Dante because I couldn’t have Jude. I gave up on Jude long before
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