In the Absence of You by Sunniva Dee Page A

little pale, but she was downstairs yesterday. She’s eating, right?”
    Bo whips around, glaring at his friend, eyes laser-bright with anger. Emil doesn’t look intimidated. They must have had their fights over the years. “You think because people can walk they’re okay? She cries herself to sleep, Emil.
    “She dreams about him, about growing thick with him. And then she wakes up, realizing that won’t happen, and she’s losing him all over again! Ah shit.” He scrubs his face and rakes his fingers through his hair in one desperate move. “Guys, I’m quitting.”
    “You’re what?”
    “I’m going back with her tomorrow. We’re leaving for L.A.”
    Even Troll needs a moment to absorb this.
    “Why tomorrow?” Troy asks, voice calm and buying time.
    “Her ticket expires. She was supposed to leave out of Pittsburgh tomorrow, but I’m getting it changed to right here in Fresco.”
    We’re at the hotel bar. It’s early afternoon and no one except the band is here, so when Emil slams his hand on the table, roaring, “You’re gonna ruin Clown Irruption over this?” only a bartender is there to see.
    “Sweetie…” The brittle voice comes from the door.
    Mostly, Nadia stays in their room. In the days we’ve been here, I’ve only seen her twice. Once, when Bo brought her back here from the hospital. Instead of using the hotel’s wheelchair, he carried her all the way inside, to the elevator, and up to their room. The second time was at breakfast yesterday morning. She forced herself to ingest a few spoonfuls of oatmeal, what Emil refers to as “eating.” He doesn’t understand.
    Nadia and I are both thin, but right now, the way she stands in the doorway, she’s the slightest alabaster statue hiding behind dark locks, so unassuming she could pass for a part of the design.
    I try to suppress my thought, but it comes anyway: it’s hard to imagine her lush with child.
    “Nadia, you’re up!” Bo’s stool screeches back as he jumps to his feet and swallows the distance between them. “Are you okay?” He bends in. Kisses her lips, touching her face like he didn’t just see her fifteen minutes ago.
    Love fire. They have it.
    She leans into his side, forehead hitting his chest and resting there as her eyes go to the floor. Bo wraps his arms around his love, keeping her safe against him. He wants to protect her from all the world. If only her pain hadn’t surged from the two of them. What a plunge they took, from bliss to grief, in just a few hours.
    “I’m done here, darling. I’ll take you upstairs,” he murmurs, but she shakes her head. Lifts a hand and points at our table.
    “I think we all need to talk.”
    A furrow of surprise settles between Bo’s eyebrows. “What about? All’s sorted out. You don’t have to worry anymore. I won’t leave you alone. I’m going home with you tomorrow.” Cautious, as if she’s made of porcelain, he helps her onto his stool and stands next to her, a hand on the backrest and the other over her stomach.
    She smiles a pale smile, eyes dull with their loss, but she shakes her head to him, saying, “No, that’s not what I want. This is your livelihood—all of your livelihoods—and we can’t jeopardize that because I might feel lonely. I’ve got Zoe. She’ll be there for me. She always is.”
    Emil sits next to me. It’s hard not to catch the way his eyes blacken at her mention of Zoe. I’m so selfish I think, Why did she have to mention her?
    For me, the hotel stay has been good. I’ve slept in Emil’s arms two out of three nights. He withdrew again as soon as Nadia was out of danger, and of course I see the writing on that one; Emil needs me close when he’s worried. And I, I’m at a point where I take what I can.
    “That sounds like a good plan,” Troll ventures, but Bo cuts in as if he never even spoke.
    “That’s not an option. There is no way I’m leaving you alone, like before, like when I was on tour and you were dealing