In a Latitude of Temperance (The Adventures of Ichabod Temperance Book 5) by Ichabod Temperance Page B
Authors: Ichabod Temperance
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submit to being locked in our quarters or barred from leaving the ship at any time.”
“Ha, ha! We agree to your terms! Ha, ha! Now please hurry aboard; dawn approaches and we wish to be under way. Ha, ha.”
“Yessir, that’s another point that you all should be aware of. We’re wise to y’all’s peculiar taste in liquid imbibement. We have taken a number of precautions.”
“Numbers! Ha, ha! What is this number? Ha, ha!”
“Three, Count. One: We are all wearing great heavy leis of garlic. The bulby clumps of cloves are worn as big necklaces around our necks. Not only that, but we have been eating this stuff as if our lives depend on it, which, I suppose, they do.”
“Two: We have all opted to supplement our Palm Leaf Crucifixes with blessed silver ones. Everybody hold up their silver crucifix so these boys can see we ain’t funnin’ ’em.”
“Ayiee! Enough! We get it! Please put them back beneath your collars. Ha, ha. That’s better. Now we have counted, one and two measurements of protection, but what is the number three plasma preserving precautionary predilection?”
“He’s right here.”
“No, this is too much! I refuse to allow that monster aboard this ship! He nearly killed me! If I were mortal, I would be dead! Somebody bring me a dueling collar to hold my head up so that I may kill this horrible beast!”
“Ha, ha! Please to calm yourself, Count Onyx’Ula. You see, Mr. Temperance, I am afraid my uncomfortable companion harbors great concerns in regard to allowing this creature on our boat. Concerns that we his associates share very much. I think we do not agree to having this dangerous man on our ship.”
“If he ain’t goin’ then we ain’t. Sun’s coming up pretty soon, Count. What’s it gonna be?”
“Ha, ha! Very Vell, vee say velcome aboard everybody! But eh, you vill at least give us your assurance as a gentleman, that you intend no funny business, yes?”
“Sure thing, Count Sezami. I pledge that as long as you and your party behaves itself, then so shall I and my companions.”
“Ha, ha! I think vee can all agree to this. Tell me my dark and dangerous new passenger, vhat eez your name?”
“My name is...”
The devil whips his dark lensed, ultra stylish glasses off to reveal burning white irises.
“...Trevor Dagger.”
---
Chapter Eight.
Journey’s End
“Oh, ye’ll take the high road,”
“An Oye’ll takes the low road,”
“An Oye’ll be in Tierra del Fuego,”
“a’fore-r-r-re ye’.”
“Faer Icksy and’ Persephone,”
“Thae’ ne’er will bae a’part,”
“When we crash thae blooudy ‘Stoker’ ,”
“Au-ouon thae rocks.”
Ohhhh, the nights upon the ocean within this strange ship are as wild and fraught with danger as the floating stables of the Qiqihar Dragon Arena during mating season. The waves are as mountainous as the unassailable heights that surround legendary Shangri-la.
Ohhhh, but the cold, short days are as listless as last year’s Tiger Lilies. The water lies as flat as a sumo wrestler’s tatami mat, that is, for the first three days. After that, the days have held no respite from the raging storms that have taken this ship in their merciless grip. It has grown increasingly difficult to differentiate day from night. It is as if we have lost all contact with our warm and glowing personal star, and now dwell in a long, long, night. Ice collection on the rigging has outpaced the crew’s ability to dislodge it. The stormy and raging winter weather has driven us all below deck, including the hard-faced crew, and we do not have the wherewithal to face the icy, winter ocean rage. Yesterday we were entertained by the sounds of losing the ship’s rigging, as the frozen ropes and scaling nets were violently ripped from their hold on the failing boat.
Confuzi’us say:
‘He who follow in footsteps of fool,’
‘Likely step in stinky stool’.
Ohhhh, I think he is right on this one. Why did we not escape these
“Ha, ha! We agree to your terms! Ha, ha! Now please hurry aboard; dawn approaches and we wish to be under way. Ha, ha.”
“Yessir, that’s another point that you all should be aware of. We’re wise to y’all’s peculiar taste in liquid imbibement. We have taken a number of precautions.”
“Numbers! Ha, ha! What is this number? Ha, ha!”
“Three, Count. One: We are all wearing great heavy leis of garlic. The bulby clumps of cloves are worn as big necklaces around our necks. Not only that, but we have been eating this stuff as if our lives depend on it, which, I suppose, they do.”
“Two: We have all opted to supplement our Palm Leaf Crucifixes with blessed silver ones. Everybody hold up their silver crucifix so these boys can see we ain’t funnin’ ’em.”
“Ayiee! Enough! We get it! Please put them back beneath your collars. Ha, ha. That’s better. Now we have counted, one and two measurements of protection, but what is the number three plasma preserving precautionary predilection?”
“He’s right here.”
“No, this is too much! I refuse to allow that monster aboard this ship! He nearly killed me! If I were mortal, I would be dead! Somebody bring me a dueling collar to hold my head up so that I may kill this horrible beast!”
“Ha, ha! Please to calm yourself, Count Onyx’Ula. You see, Mr. Temperance, I am afraid my uncomfortable companion harbors great concerns in regard to allowing this creature on our boat. Concerns that we his associates share very much. I think we do not agree to having this dangerous man on our ship.”
“If he ain’t goin’ then we ain’t. Sun’s coming up pretty soon, Count. What’s it gonna be?”
“Ha, ha! Very Vell, vee say velcome aboard everybody! But eh, you vill at least give us your assurance as a gentleman, that you intend no funny business, yes?”
“Sure thing, Count Sezami. I pledge that as long as you and your party behaves itself, then so shall I and my companions.”
“Ha, ha! I think vee can all agree to this. Tell me my dark and dangerous new passenger, vhat eez your name?”
“My name is...”
The devil whips his dark lensed, ultra stylish glasses off to reveal burning white irises.
“...Trevor Dagger.”
---
Chapter Eight.
Journey’s End
“Oh, ye’ll take the high road,”
“An Oye’ll takes the low road,”
“An Oye’ll be in Tierra del Fuego,”
“a’fore-r-r-re ye’.”
“Faer Icksy and’ Persephone,”
“Thae’ ne’er will bae a’part,”
“When we crash thae blooudy ‘Stoker’ ,”
“Au-ouon thae rocks.”
Ohhhh, the nights upon the ocean within this strange ship are as wild and fraught with danger as the floating stables of the Qiqihar Dragon Arena during mating season. The waves are as mountainous as the unassailable heights that surround legendary Shangri-la.
Ohhhh, but the cold, short days are as listless as last year’s Tiger Lilies. The water lies as flat as a sumo wrestler’s tatami mat, that is, for the first three days. After that, the days have held no respite from the raging storms that have taken this ship in their merciless grip. It has grown increasingly difficult to differentiate day from night. It is as if we have lost all contact with our warm and glowing personal star, and now dwell in a long, long, night. Ice collection on the rigging has outpaced the crew’s ability to dislodge it. The stormy and raging winter weather has driven us all below deck, including the hard-faced crew, and we do not have the wherewithal to face the icy, winter ocean rage. Yesterday we were entertained by the sounds of losing the ship’s rigging, as the frozen ropes and scaling nets were violently ripped from their hold on the failing boat.
Confuzi’us say:
‘He who follow in footsteps of fool,’
‘Likely step in stinky stool’.
Ohhhh, I think he is right on this one. Why did we not escape these
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