Where’s Rhonda, and what the hell do we need to talk about?
At the end of a painfully long day at school, she and I walk in silence to the cemetery. Her pleated skirt flaps rhythmically in the breeze. It sends me into a bit of a trance, and, before I know it, we’ve arrived at the cemetery. I wish that the time hadn’t slipped away so fast. Why must my thoughts always overwhelm me? Why can’t I stay focussed on the ‘now’? I have the terrifying thought that this might be the last time we ever walk somewhere together.
She sits down rigidly in the little shelter and motions for me to sit with her. Then she starts crying. I don’t know what to do. I let her cry for a while, until it gets uncomfortable. I have to say something, even though I’m shit-scared about what her answer might be.
‘Rhonda, what’s wrong? What is it?’ She looks up at me; tears are rolling down her red face.
‘Stan?’
‘Yes?’
‘Don’t be mad at me.’ Oh, my God. She is gonna break up with me.
‘I won’t be mad at you.’ My voice betrays my misery.
‘I don’t know how to tell you this…’ She looks away briefly and then looks back at me with a determined look on her face. She wipes her nose with the back of her hand. ‘I think I might be pregnant.’
Of all the words I thought might come out of her mouth, I’d never, for a second, anticipated those. I’m so relieved. ‘Oh, thank God for that!’
‘What do you mean – “thank God”? Did you hear what I just said?’ She starts crying again.
I put my arm around her. ‘I’m sorry. I thought you were going to break up with me … I … I …’ I don’t know what to say.
‘For God’s sake, Stan! I’m not ready to have a baby! I don’t want a baby! I want to go to uni!’
‘Hey, it’s OK. We’ll work it out.’
‘How can we work it out? What is there to work out? I’m not going to have an abortion, if that’s what you mean. I couldn’t do that.’
‘I’m not suggesting that you should. We’ll work this out. I just need some time to think about it.’
She gets to her feet. ‘Well, make sure you think fast. I’ve been dealing with this all by myself and I’m running out of ideas.’
‘Why didn’t you say something? We could have gone through this together.’
‘Oh, yeah, like you’re gonna go through a pregnancy the way I will. You know what, it pisses me off! Men have it so easy. You can do whatever you want with that thing of yours…’ she waggles a finger at my dick, ‘…and there’ll be no consequences for you at all!’
‘Rhonda, please don’t speak to me like that. Your consequences are my consequences.’ She’s made me angry for the first time. How could she think so badly of me?
‘Oh, don’t insult me with your fifteen-year-old maturity! You’d soon get sick of it, even if you do decide to stick by me at first. You’d get sick of watching me get fatter and fatter, and you’d probably turn to someone else for comfort. But I don’t have that option, do I?’
I grab her by the shoulders. ‘You stupid, stupid girl! Do you not know what you mean to me? You’re right, I am fifteen and I may not be the most mature person in the world. But I know I’m going to stick by you no matter what.’
‘Stan, we hardly know each other! You don’t even believe in aliens!’ Rhonda shakes my hands off her shoulders and stands back looking at me helplessly.
‘Who cares? Why do we have to know each other? People can be married for years and still not know each other. I know that you make me feel fucking amazing and happy and overwhelmed. I’ve never felt so fucking alive in my entire life. I’m not going to let you go, Rhonda.’
A little smile emerges on her wet face.
‘I know I’m not the smartest guy in the world, but we can work this out. I don’t know how but I know we can.’
I hold her for a long time while she cries into my chest. I try to sooth her with reassuring words.
After a while, I hear a twig snap.
At the end of a painfully long day at school, she and I walk in silence to the cemetery. Her pleated skirt flaps rhythmically in the breeze. It sends me into a bit of a trance, and, before I know it, we’ve arrived at the cemetery. I wish that the time hadn’t slipped away so fast. Why must my thoughts always overwhelm me? Why can’t I stay focussed on the ‘now’? I have the terrifying thought that this might be the last time we ever walk somewhere together.
She sits down rigidly in the little shelter and motions for me to sit with her. Then she starts crying. I don’t know what to do. I let her cry for a while, until it gets uncomfortable. I have to say something, even though I’m shit-scared about what her answer might be.
‘Rhonda, what’s wrong? What is it?’ She looks up at me; tears are rolling down her red face.
‘Stan?’
‘Yes?’
‘Don’t be mad at me.’ Oh, my God. She is gonna break up with me.
‘I won’t be mad at you.’ My voice betrays my misery.
‘I don’t know how to tell you this…’ She looks away briefly and then looks back at me with a determined look on her face. She wipes her nose with the back of her hand. ‘I think I might be pregnant.’
Of all the words I thought might come out of her mouth, I’d never, for a second, anticipated those. I’m so relieved. ‘Oh, thank God for that!’
‘What do you mean – “thank God”? Did you hear what I just said?’ She starts crying again.
I put my arm around her. ‘I’m sorry. I thought you were going to break up with me … I … I …’ I don’t know what to say.
‘For God’s sake, Stan! I’m not ready to have a baby! I don’t want a baby! I want to go to uni!’
‘Hey, it’s OK. We’ll work it out.’
‘How can we work it out? What is there to work out? I’m not going to have an abortion, if that’s what you mean. I couldn’t do that.’
‘I’m not suggesting that you should. We’ll work this out. I just need some time to think about it.’
She gets to her feet. ‘Well, make sure you think fast. I’ve been dealing with this all by myself and I’m running out of ideas.’
‘Why didn’t you say something? We could have gone through this together.’
‘Oh, yeah, like you’re gonna go through a pregnancy the way I will. You know what, it pisses me off! Men have it so easy. You can do whatever you want with that thing of yours…’ she waggles a finger at my dick, ‘…and there’ll be no consequences for you at all!’
‘Rhonda, please don’t speak to me like that. Your consequences are my consequences.’ She’s made me angry for the first time. How could she think so badly of me?
‘Oh, don’t insult me with your fifteen-year-old maturity! You’d soon get sick of it, even if you do decide to stick by me at first. You’d get sick of watching me get fatter and fatter, and you’d probably turn to someone else for comfort. But I don’t have that option, do I?’
I grab her by the shoulders. ‘You stupid, stupid girl! Do you not know what you mean to me? You’re right, I am fifteen and I may not be the most mature person in the world. But I know I’m going to stick by you no matter what.’
‘Stan, we hardly know each other! You don’t even believe in aliens!’ Rhonda shakes my hands off her shoulders and stands back looking at me helplessly.
‘Who cares? Why do we have to know each other? People can be married for years and still not know each other. I know that you make me feel fucking amazing and happy and overwhelmed. I’ve never felt so fucking alive in my entire life. I’m not going to let you go, Rhonda.’
A little smile emerges on her wet face.
‘I know I’m not the smartest guy in the world, but we can work this out. I don’t know how but I know we can.’
I hold her for a long time while she cries into my chest. I try to sooth her with reassuring words.
After a while, I hear a twig snap.
Similar Books
