she had to excuse herself to go cry in the bathroom. I donât blame her. Money is depressing. Gallivanting around with rich people when you yourself donât have much money can lead to secretly sobbing in bathrooms because youâre being faced with the cold, harsh reality that no matter how alike you are, there are always different upbringings, different reference points, different values placed on the dollar.
Most of my friends were raised in middle-class households and no longer receive any help from their parents. At least I donât think they do. Getting a postgrad to talk candidly about their financial situation isnât easy. I think Iâd have a better chance getting one of my girlfriends to share the story of her second abortion. It seemed like whenever I tried to talk to one of my friends about how they get their money, the conversation would go like this:
Me: Hey, babe!
Friend: Hey, hon! Whatâs up?
Me: Nothing. I was just wondering if I could ask you some questions.
Friend: Sure. What about?
Me: Um, I want to know how you afford to live.
[DIAL TONE]
Perhaps people are so reticent to talk about money not because they all have a secret trust fund but because theyâre ashamed of their spending habits. No matter how âbrokeâ a twentysomething claims to be, they will always be able to afford the things they âneedââeven if that thing is something as superfluous as a bottle of wine or an organic five-dollar latte.
It goes back to the reason why I blow all my money on candles, lotions, and potions. In your twenties, you are constantly aspiring to be something âa girlfriend, a young professional, someone with health insurance, a person who knows how to cookâand in order to get from point A to point B, you feel like you have to drop some serious cash. Take the simple desire of wanting to get laid. To feel sexually attractive, one believes they have to work out at the gym, buy clothes that make their body look amazing, and spend extra money on healthy locally sustainable, hormone-free, very expensive food. So they do it. They go to Whole Foods, they buy a gym membership at a place like 24 Hour Fitness, which is cheaper than, say, Equinox, but is still a lot of money for someone who considers themselves broke, and they splurge on the occasional shopping trip to Forever 21 and H&M. This is what âliving paycheck to paycheckâ looks like for a lot of people: delicious groceries, a lot of throwaway dresses, and maintaining a gym body. Theyâre seen as necessities instead of luxuries, though, because Millennials need to look good and feel good, no matter what their paycheck says.
To get further insight into the troubled delusional minds of my generation, Iâve compiled a list of the top ten things âbrokeâ twentysomethings buy and the rationale behind each purchase:
1. Alcohol: I need to buy this orange hibiscus cocktail because Iâm sad and Iâm sad because I donât have any money and I donât have any money because I keep spending all my money on orange hibiscus cocktails.
2. Cabs: Itâs late and I donât want to walk home because Iâm scared of getting raped. Do you want me to get raped?
3. Dinners at expensive restaurants: My friend suggested this place and I feel too embarrassed to tell her that I canât afford it, so I said yes and now Iâm having heart palpitations. I better not get too nervous and vomit up this $24 chicken breast I charged on my credit card.
4. New sheets: My old sheets were only 250-thread count, which just isnât okay because Iâm twenty-six now and twenty-six-year-olds deserve a higher thread count.
5. The expensive organic cereal: I need to eat healthy, okay? I havenât been taking care of myself lately, so Iâm investing in this organic cereal in the hopes that it will minimize the damage alcohol has wrought on my body for the last
Most of my friends were raised in middle-class households and no longer receive any help from their parents. At least I donât think they do. Getting a postgrad to talk candidly about their financial situation isnât easy. I think Iâd have a better chance getting one of my girlfriends to share the story of her second abortion. It seemed like whenever I tried to talk to one of my friends about how they get their money, the conversation would go like this:
Me: Hey, babe!
Friend: Hey, hon! Whatâs up?
Me: Nothing. I was just wondering if I could ask you some questions.
Friend: Sure. What about?
Me: Um, I want to know how you afford to live.
[DIAL TONE]
Perhaps people are so reticent to talk about money not because they all have a secret trust fund but because theyâre ashamed of their spending habits. No matter how âbrokeâ a twentysomething claims to be, they will always be able to afford the things they âneedââeven if that thing is something as superfluous as a bottle of wine or an organic five-dollar latte.
It goes back to the reason why I blow all my money on candles, lotions, and potions. In your twenties, you are constantly aspiring to be something âa girlfriend, a young professional, someone with health insurance, a person who knows how to cookâand in order to get from point A to point B, you feel like you have to drop some serious cash. Take the simple desire of wanting to get laid. To feel sexually attractive, one believes they have to work out at the gym, buy clothes that make their body look amazing, and spend extra money on healthy locally sustainable, hormone-free, very expensive food. So they do it. They go to Whole Foods, they buy a gym membership at a place like 24 Hour Fitness, which is cheaper than, say, Equinox, but is still a lot of money for someone who considers themselves broke, and they splurge on the occasional shopping trip to Forever 21 and H&M. This is what âliving paycheck to paycheckâ looks like for a lot of people: delicious groceries, a lot of throwaway dresses, and maintaining a gym body. Theyâre seen as necessities instead of luxuries, though, because Millennials need to look good and feel good, no matter what their paycheck says.
To get further insight into the troubled delusional minds of my generation, Iâve compiled a list of the top ten things âbrokeâ twentysomethings buy and the rationale behind each purchase:
1. Alcohol: I need to buy this orange hibiscus cocktail because Iâm sad and Iâm sad because I donât have any money and I donât have any money because I keep spending all my money on orange hibiscus cocktails.
2. Cabs: Itâs late and I donât want to walk home because Iâm scared of getting raped. Do you want me to get raped?
3. Dinners at expensive restaurants: My friend suggested this place and I feel too embarrassed to tell her that I canât afford it, so I said yes and now Iâm having heart palpitations. I better not get too nervous and vomit up this $24 chicken breast I charged on my credit card.
4. New sheets: My old sheets were only 250-thread count, which just isnât okay because Iâm twenty-six now and twenty-six-year-olds deserve a higher thread count.
5. The expensive organic cereal: I need to eat healthy, okay? I havenât been taking care of myself lately, so Iâm investing in this organic cereal in the hopes that it will minimize the damage alcohol has wrought on my body for the last
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