out.
“I didn’t have sex with her.”
Slowly she turned, studying my face. “Sure looks like you did.”
I took a step closer. “We didn’t,” I said gently, hoping I wouldn’t have to elaborate. “I haven’t had sex with her since…” I let out a breath. “You have no idea how hard it’s been trying to avoid her night after night. This morning she just caught me by surprise.”
Joss cocked a hip and an attitude. “It must be so hard rejecting the advances of a beautiful woman.”
“It is,” I bit out between my teeth, trying to keep my emotions in check. She was making my blood boil, and there was a very thin line between anger and lust. “Not that any of this matters because you and I are not together. I’m with your mom and I shouldn’t have to feel guilty every time I do something with her.”
She wrapped her arms around her middle. “I know,” she whispered, her lips trembling. “But it hurts. Like physically hurts to know that you’re not…”
I closed the space between us. “Not what?”
Her shoulders sagged as she leaned into me, but stopped short of touching. When she looked up, the skin under her eyes were wet with tears. “Not with me.”
I reached out and wiped at her tears. I couldn’t not touch her anymore. “I’m sorry, Joss. I wish I could make this hurt less.”
In that moment, seeing the pain etched in her features, I felt a pang of the physical pain she was talking about. It hurt like a bitch, but we couldn’t veer from the paths we’d already set for ourselves. “We have to move past this. We have to find a way to move on.”
“It’s that easy for you, isn’t it?” she asked, bitterness lacing her voice. “Moving on?”
I ground my teeth. “It has to be.” And even though I really didn’t want to, I turned my back on her and walked away.
----
“ W hat about Landon for a boy and Larissa for a girl?”
“What?” I blinked up, not realizing that Amanda had joined me out in the backyard. I took a sip of beer and continued to enjoy the balmy afternoon in the backyard. I had only hedge bushes and the lawn to look at, but I wasn’t out here for the scenery anyway.
“Baby names.” Amanda sat on my lap and showed me a blue book with a chubby baby on the cover. She flipped through the dog-eared pages. “I like the name Liam too.”
“What about Joss?”
Amanda bit back a smile. “I think that name’s already taken.”
“I mean, have you asked her?”
Her smile dissolved. “I wanted to consult with the baby’s father first.” She pulled away, studying me. “What’s with you lately? Is it Joss?”
I tried to retain my cool; Amanda’s gaze was more searing than the Florida sun. “What do you mean?”
“You two haven’t been getting along.” I opened my mouth but she quickly covered it with her hand. “Don’t even deny it. You can’t stand to be in the same room together and when you do happen to be, you’re always arguing.”
I shook my head and looked away. Amanda wasn’t stupid. Of course she noticed.
Her fingers threaded into my hair. “So what is it? It’s not about the baby, is it?”
I looked into her open face, wanting so badly to confess.
I had an affair with your daughter.
Seven little words that meant nothing apart, but when put together had the power to destroy everything.
We both turned our heads when the glass door opened. My ears burned as Joss walked out to the backyard wearing a shirt and those damn cutoff shorts. But the heat that spiked my temperature was quickly doused when I saw who followed her out.
“Hey,” Joss said, pointedly avoiding looking at me. She turned to the person beside her. “Mom, this is my boyfriend, Eli.”
My hand squeezed around the beer bottle, trying its best to shatter glass.
Amanda got up from my lap and shook Douchebag’s hand. “It’s nice to finally meet you. I’m glad you and Joss were able to work things out.”
Eli’s eyes flicked towards me a few times but he
“I didn’t have sex with her.”
Slowly she turned, studying my face. “Sure looks like you did.”
I took a step closer. “We didn’t,” I said gently, hoping I wouldn’t have to elaborate. “I haven’t had sex with her since…” I let out a breath. “You have no idea how hard it’s been trying to avoid her night after night. This morning she just caught me by surprise.”
Joss cocked a hip and an attitude. “It must be so hard rejecting the advances of a beautiful woman.”
“It is,” I bit out between my teeth, trying to keep my emotions in check. She was making my blood boil, and there was a very thin line between anger and lust. “Not that any of this matters because you and I are not together. I’m with your mom and I shouldn’t have to feel guilty every time I do something with her.”
She wrapped her arms around her middle. “I know,” she whispered, her lips trembling. “But it hurts. Like physically hurts to know that you’re not…”
I closed the space between us. “Not what?”
Her shoulders sagged as she leaned into me, but stopped short of touching. When she looked up, the skin under her eyes were wet with tears. “Not with me.”
I reached out and wiped at her tears. I couldn’t not touch her anymore. “I’m sorry, Joss. I wish I could make this hurt less.”
In that moment, seeing the pain etched in her features, I felt a pang of the physical pain she was talking about. It hurt like a bitch, but we couldn’t veer from the paths we’d already set for ourselves. “We have to move past this. We have to find a way to move on.”
“It’s that easy for you, isn’t it?” she asked, bitterness lacing her voice. “Moving on?”
I ground my teeth. “It has to be.” And even though I really didn’t want to, I turned my back on her and walked away.
----
“ W hat about Landon for a boy and Larissa for a girl?”
“What?” I blinked up, not realizing that Amanda had joined me out in the backyard. I took a sip of beer and continued to enjoy the balmy afternoon in the backyard. I had only hedge bushes and the lawn to look at, but I wasn’t out here for the scenery anyway.
“Baby names.” Amanda sat on my lap and showed me a blue book with a chubby baby on the cover. She flipped through the dog-eared pages. “I like the name Liam too.”
“What about Joss?”
Amanda bit back a smile. “I think that name’s already taken.”
“I mean, have you asked her?”
Her smile dissolved. “I wanted to consult with the baby’s father first.” She pulled away, studying me. “What’s with you lately? Is it Joss?”
I tried to retain my cool; Amanda’s gaze was more searing than the Florida sun. “What do you mean?”
“You two haven’t been getting along.” I opened my mouth but she quickly covered it with her hand. “Don’t even deny it. You can’t stand to be in the same room together and when you do happen to be, you’re always arguing.”
I shook my head and looked away. Amanda wasn’t stupid. Of course she noticed.
Her fingers threaded into my hair. “So what is it? It’s not about the baby, is it?”
I looked into her open face, wanting so badly to confess.
I had an affair with your daughter.
Seven little words that meant nothing apart, but when put together had the power to destroy everything.
We both turned our heads when the glass door opened. My ears burned as Joss walked out to the backyard wearing a shirt and those damn cutoff shorts. But the heat that spiked my temperature was quickly doused when I saw who followed her out.
“Hey,” Joss said, pointedly avoiding looking at me. She turned to the person beside her. “Mom, this is my boyfriend, Eli.”
My hand squeezed around the beer bottle, trying its best to shatter glass.
Amanda got up from my lap and shook Douchebag’s hand. “It’s nice to finally meet you. I’m glad you and Joss were able to work things out.”
Eli’s eyes flicked towards me a few times but he
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