about the little town, the people, the crew…and River. All I had to do was convince Dad to come, that maybe the change would be good for him, too. River was pretty much a saint to offer for Dad to live with us, but maybe he’d get to where he could live on his own…and I could have my own life.
The texts Addy had sent me said everything was under control, so maybe it was possible.
Yes. I could do it. Maybe.
“What’s up, Avery?” Bishop asked as he walked over.
“Can we take a walk?” I asked him, needing a sounding board that wasn’t River.
His forehead puckered. “Of course.”
He helped me up and we walked out the side door of the clubhouse. I sucked in a deep lungful of air, grateful for the quiet we had outside. My lungs burned, but I was adjusting to the altitude. Kind of.
“What are you going to do?” he asked, never one to beat around the bush.
“I don’t know,” I answered.
“What do you want?” he asked. “Not what River wants, what your dad wants…what do you want?”
I thought about the last two days. The peace, the freedom, the pure happiness I felt at the possibility of a fresh start with River. “I want to be here.”
“Then that’s your answer.”
I scoffed. “What I want and what’s possible are almost never the same thing.”
“Avery, if you’re willing to tear up everything, move from Alaska, and build something fresh, then you’ve already jumped the biggest barrier. Well, that and chancing your life on River’s cooking.”
My lips turned up at the corners. “Okay, there’s that. Do you really think I can convince my dad to come? Adeline is all for it, but it’s not just me in this decision. I can’t leave them any more than you’d leave River.”
His face scrunched. “Eh, you know, River is a grown-ass man. If he didn’t want to come here, I would have left him in Alaska. He makes his own choices. Of course, I’m glad he’s here with me. If he’s going to be firefighting, then I want him on my crew, but don’t think for a second that I wouldn’t have come without him. He deserves his own life, and you do, too.”
“And what if I come here, and it doesn’t work out with River?” I asked, giving voice to my biggest fear. “What if I leave everything I know behind, and come here, and we have a horrid breakup and then I lose him anyway?”
He grasped both of my shoulders and ducked to look in my eyes. “That’s a risk you’re going to have to take. Nothing is guaranteed, not in life and sure as hell not in love. But I can tell you that he has loved you for as long as he’s known you. There is nothing he won’t give you—nothing he won’t do to make this work. That kind of love, the one that’s rooted in a friendship as deep as you two have…that’s not easy to come by. It’s worth the fight. I’ll tell you the same thing I told him. You guys are worth the gamble.”
“Thank you,” I said softly.
“Don’t thank me. You have a hell of a road ahead of you. I just wish that I could be there to help you with it.”
“You’re not coming back with us?” My stomach dropped.
“Nah. I boxed up my shit before I left. River is going to sell my truck and send my stuff with his. Bash needs my help here. We have a ton of relocating to do, and there’s not much up there for me anyway.”
“I guess I thought when they told us you could have until spring…” My voice drifted off because we both knew where it was going. When Bash had gotten approval for the team to be together by spring, I figured we’d been given a reprieve. Another few months to work everything out. Time to convince my dad. Time to coordinate.
“River might take it,” Bishop said. “Like I said, we make our own decisions. If he chooses to stay the winter in Alaska, then I’ll support that. He doesn’t have to be back until April.”
“I just need time.”
“I know that, and he does, too. It’s just that time might not be something we have a lot of to spare
The texts Addy had sent me said everything was under control, so maybe it was possible.
Yes. I could do it. Maybe.
“What’s up, Avery?” Bishop asked as he walked over.
“Can we take a walk?” I asked him, needing a sounding board that wasn’t River.
His forehead puckered. “Of course.”
He helped me up and we walked out the side door of the clubhouse. I sucked in a deep lungful of air, grateful for the quiet we had outside. My lungs burned, but I was adjusting to the altitude. Kind of.
“What are you going to do?” he asked, never one to beat around the bush.
“I don’t know,” I answered.
“What do you want?” he asked. “Not what River wants, what your dad wants…what do you want?”
I thought about the last two days. The peace, the freedom, the pure happiness I felt at the possibility of a fresh start with River. “I want to be here.”
“Then that’s your answer.”
I scoffed. “What I want and what’s possible are almost never the same thing.”
“Avery, if you’re willing to tear up everything, move from Alaska, and build something fresh, then you’ve already jumped the biggest barrier. Well, that and chancing your life on River’s cooking.”
My lips turned up at the corners. “Okay, there’s that. Do you really think I can convince my dad to come? Adeline is all for it, but it’s not just me in this decision. I can’t leave them any more than you’d leave River.”
His face scrunched. “Eh, you know, River is a grown-ass man. If he didn’t want to come here, I would have left him in Alaska. He makes his own choices. Of course, I’m glad he’s here with me. If he’s going to be firefighting, then I want him on my crew, but don’t think for a second that I wouldn’t have come without him. He deserves his own life, and you do, too.”
“And what if I come here, and it doesn’t work out with River?” I asked, giving voice to my biggest fear. “What if I leave everything I know behind, and come here, and we have a horrid breakup and then I lose him anyway?”
He grasped both of my shoulders and ducked to look in my eyes. “That’s a risk you’re going to have to take. Nothing is guaranteed, not in life and sure as hell not in love. But I can tell you that he has loved you for as long as he’s known you. There is nothing he won’t give you—nothing he won’t do to make this work. That kind of love, the one that’s rooted in a friendship as deep as you two have…that’s not easy to come by. It’s worth the fight. I’ll tell you the same thing I told him. You guys are worth the gamble.”
“Thank you,” I said softly.
“Don’t thank me. You have a hell of a road ahead of you. I just wish that I could be there to help you with it.”
“You’re not coming back with us?” My stomach dropped.
“Nah. I boxed up my shit before I left. River is going to sell my truck and send my stuff with his. Bash needs my help here. We have a ton of relocating to do, and there’s not much up there for me anyway.”
“I guess I thought when they told us you could have until spring…” My voice drifted off because we both knew where it was going. When Bash had gotten approval for the team to be together by spring, I figured we’d been given a reprieve. Another few months to work everything out. Time to convince my dad. Time to coordinate.
“River might take it,” Bishop said. “Like I said, we make our own decisions. If he chooses to stay the winter in Alaska, then I’ll support that. He doesn’t have to be back until April.”
“I just need time.”
“I know that, and he does, too. It’s just that time might not be something we have a lot of to spare