If You Only Knew by M. William Phelps Page A

at the right moment, convince Vonlee to lie for her. Protect her. Provide an alibi Billie Jean might someday need.
    Maybe even help her with the deed.
    As far as Vonlee could tell, her aunt had a plan from the moment she walked into that Waffle House and convinced Vonlee to go back to Michigan with her.
    A plan that involved getting rid of Don.

CHAPTER 22
    VONLEE AND DANNY NEVER finished dinner. They were out in the parking lot walking toward Billie Jean’s Cadillac. Soon as they sat inside the car, the only vehicle Vonlee and Billie Jean ever took to the casino, Danny started in on how he wanted a show-and-tell display. While Vonlee had been inside with Danny having dinner, letting him finally know about her manhood, teasing the idea that there was more to Don’s death than what people thought, her aunt was gambling the night away, entirely oblivious to what Vonlee was doing.
    â€œShow me,” Danny insisted.
    â€œNo,” Vonlee said. She wasn’t some sort of sideshow or a carnival act. She was 99 percent female, just waiting to drum up the courage to go and get that final operation. She had her reasons why she had held off for so long—reasons that had nothing to do with the cost. But the “why” part of her decision was none of Danny’s damn business. He supposedly loves me, Vonlee thought. Well, here’s a test to how much.
    â€œMost guys, when they found out,” Vonlee explained, “didn’t have a problem with it.” Some had run, sure, but most were so impressed with Vonlee’s looks that they were willing to wait it out and be there when she got the final operation. And Vonlee expressed what had been a definitive feeling inside her all her life that there was never any question about who she was. This wasn’t a life crisis for her; she was a female. It was how she thought of herself. And everyone else that had known her thought of her that way, too.
    â€œI can remember when I was, like, five, six years old and I was playing with dolls and wanted to dress in female clothing and I would get Christmas gifts like the Tonka toys or something, and I would immediately want my sister’s Barbie dolls, instead. I’ve always just felt that way.”
    Vonlee never had a choice in the matter, according to her.
    She agreed to allow Danny to touch her “down there,” over her clothing.
    He leaned in and put his hand on her crotch.
    â€œBut I didn’t . . . I didn’t feel anything,” Danny later said.
    Danny asked Vonlee about Don. If she wasn’t going to drop her pants and show him the goods, he wanted to hear about Don and what Billie Jean had supposedly done.
    Vonlee took a deep breath. It was time to come clean.
    â€œWe got home that night”—Vonlee began, according to Danny’s later recollection of what was said inside the car on this night—“around eleven P.M. Don was lying on the floor in the kitchen, passed out.”
    It was getting chilly inside the car. Vonlee started it up and turned on the heat.
    Continuing, she explained to Danny (according to his later testimony) that her aunt had told everyone they had arrived home about 3:00 A.M. , the cops even a little later. She had mixed up the times: one to Don’s family (11:00 P.M. ) and the other to her friends and the police (3:00 A.M. ).
    As they sat inside the car, Vonlee painted a somewhat vague picture of what happened next. 1
    â€œWe got to do it now,” Billie Jean said. She was standing over Don. They’d just come home from the casino.
    â€œWhat?”
    â€œIt’s a good time right now,” Billie Jean continued. “He’s on the floor.”
    If this was what Billie Jean actually said, in terms of Danny’s choice of words to explain what Vonlee had allegedly told him, it would imply that there was a plan in place beforehand—premeditation. That one line— “It’s a good time” —would imply as